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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@miss-v-is-fine
I couldn't stand it anymore. I finally broke and went out to get a planner for the new school year, and while I was out there, I got cool puzzle and game controller erasers for to bribe the children. (They were on clearance, so I can't be held accountable for this.)
Parent emailed me today. That's not cute.
They're really going through with this cell phone ban. I have such mixed feelings about this. Yes, they're distracting and can be used for cheating. But also, we live in a world in which everyone has constant access to cell phones and part of our job as educators is to teach our kids how to self regulate. And also, they're kids, they're gonna break the rules, so what will consequences for children be when they break this state wide rule and bring a phone to school?
How am I supposed to sleep on the eve of our last week of school???
Student: My grandpa died last weekend.
Me: I'm so sorry to hear that, how are you doing?
Student: My mom put his favorite weed in his coffin.
Me: ... I'm sorry for your loss.
Student: Ms V, dinosaurs died before humans, right?
Me: Yeah
Student: Then how did they take pictures of each other?
So I did write up a student for refusing to stop talking about hentai at school and I couldn't figure out why he kept insisting it was okay because he was talking about the hentai virus and the hentai boat. Anyway a week has passed and I understand my mistake so whoopsie
Dang. My coworker's mentor told her she should make this job her whole life in order to be good at it. Literally, live alone with your dog and have no life outside work, which is exactly what that mentor does. Meanwhile, I'm clocking out at 2:40 on the dot and leaving my work computer behind. Don't call me, don't text me, don't email me; I am not available before 7:10 am on the next business day. The mentor is a better teacher than me, sure, but I have a life outside of work that makes me happy. Messed up that you have to choose one or the other in this profession.
Okay
Me: You can't bring your phone to state testing.
Student: What if I bring a fake phone?
Me: Why would you bring a fake phone?
Student: It's a fidget.
Me: Use a different fidget.
Student: What if I bring a phone made out of cardboard?
Me: I'll have to take it when I collect your papers.
Student: What if I tattoo a phone on my arm?
Me: That's fine.
Well we started state testing today and absolutely NOBODY had a phone tattoo. 🙄
My favorite student: Am I your favorite student?
Me: I don't have a favorite student.
The thing about middle school is there are kids in my class who look ten and kids who look 18 but they're all about 14 and acting like it. That giant man over there is my kid and he needs to be supported and given opportunity to play like one. That small child over there is also my kid and he will fight you and curse like a mf if you tell him to put his phone away. The tiny one is irritable because he's been up all night playing 2k. That large one over there is very quiet and won't ask for help because he's googling all the answers. This is middle school.
This is the third day in a row I've gotten home only to realize my good expo marker is still in my pocket 🫠
Can't imagine being a Parent of children with special needs and straight up ignoring or even actively avoiding and blocking all forms of communication from the people at their school attempting to provide services (for free!) and yet every year I am blown away by the amount of parents who do this. That's your kid! Talk to the goddamn case manager! Damn!
I can't help but freeze up whenever this house principal observes me. How do I become confident again :(
"You gave this child too many write ups. "
You said to document everything in SWIS.
"Why did you write it up this way?"
I am following the flowchart you shared.
"Why haven't you moved this student's goal up?"
I am literally following the flowchart you presented.
Setting up cookie decorating videos for my students on YouTube.
Ad for prostate cancer medicine immediately pops up with video of a gloved finger pressing into the anus of an anatomically correct silicone bottom (with genitals).
Thank the stars I did this before the children arrived.