miss bar slammer

(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-42407795-1', 'tumblr.com'); ga('send', 'pageview'); competitive weightlifter living in Québec, QC, Canada. champion in the making, off season until provincials in october. Jon North is my spirit animal. fitocracy.com/profile/missbarslammer

[missbarslammer-blog]

slammed my last bar 3 weeks ago.

my calluses are flaking off. the skin on my collarbones is slowly coming back to normal. i regained sensation in my thumbs.

so yeah. i'm done.

3 weeks ago i was beaten up. my back felt like it was going to break. i had a constant lower back pump. same for my forearms. from the beginning of the summer until that point, i was in a crescendo of pain. 

whether that pain was okay or not, i can't say i was okay with it. and it's okay.

i'm not made to be a champion. i don't enjoy achieving goals, i obsess over them. but i can sure enjoy a journey.

when i started weightlifting, i was lost and it helped me find myself. people told me i could become a champion, and i believed them because i liked the attention, wanted to please them. not even once did i ask myself if i really wanted this. it's time i decide to do things because i know i will enjoy it, not because i should be enjoying them.

now the circumstances in my life changed drastically : from lost with a really low, external fueled self esteem i'm now more confident and i know myself better than i ever did before. more than that, i learned to accept who i am and started working on what i want to improve for real. i've lied to myself for a long time about self improvement. i changed little things but they weren't the ones that kept me awake at night hating myself.

i don't care how people will judge me for saying that but someone helped me see what's important though everyone else's expectations. he helped me re-center myself on who i am : introspective wanderer, caring and loving, enthusiast, frugal, passionate, curious and eager to learn. i'm getting ready to leave my country and all i knew before behind to go marry that man and live the fulfilling life i always wanted. 

Andrew Kairys, this unconditional love i have for you keeps growing every day.

it's been an amazing journey up to here. i met a lot of people in my life to whom i owe little parts of who i am today. good parts and bad ones. but i don't regret anything. i don't regret getting beaten up by a bar 10+ hours a week for over a year. it helped me gain discipline and made me respect my body more, even if it didn't show all the time.

this 'retirement' is really about learning to respect my body. i don't live to win. i want to perform. i want to grow. and i have to respect my limits. my hypermobile joints really suffer from the beating i inflicted them constantly. i didn't listen enough, i was deaf with that pride and ego to move more weight. 

i know (because my mom told me she did) that some people think i'm just going to lead my life completely unfocused and that changing constantly can't make you happy. i don't change constantly. i learn more about myself. i do by being passionate about everything i do. by investing all the energy i want to put in in projects, sports, interests i have at heart. body modification. roller derby. weightlifting. gardening. writing. i don't half ass anything. i just to what ever i want. those 'phases' if you really want to call them like that don't make me change who i am. they just change my focus but i never deviate from the most important thing : myself.

i don't want a big career. i want a job to help me pay the bills and leave me time to live around. i don't need a big education. i don't want it because the sacrifices aren't worth the prize according to my own set of values, limitations and goals. 

i believe in love and its power to help people grow. Andrew is the first one to stimulate that need and want in me. he also provides me a loving and caring safe environment to ground myself on as i do. and i know i do the exact same thing for him. i never felt unconditional love before him. it's the best feeling in the world. now i know i have someone i can trust. someone i love. and i'm never letting go.

so here is the end of my journey as missbarslammer. it was an awesome  ride. thank you for tagging along. i hope you enjoyed watching me find myself.

for those of you who i've become closer to, send me a message if you want to keep in touch. i'll close this blog shortly.

on that note, may i salute you like that great man does on his own blog

salute! new horizons 2014

[logicianmagician]

This is just a little life update. Jeanne and I started filing our paperwork for her K-1 fiance visa. If all goes well she’ll be with me in about 6-7 months. We’ll finally be together. That does also mean we’re engaged. :3

[missbarslammer-blog]

the title of my autobiography : Jeanne Pineau Kairys, three names, forever mispronounced.

[roaring-softly]

Nick Miller, Turtle Face by tyler feder

Buy a print here!

[missdeejers]

"Act like a lady. Lift like a boss."

Don’t tell me what to do.

I act like a boss and lift like a lady.

[missbarslammer-blog]

'real girls lift' < don't get me started on that one

[getbulky-deactivated20131207]

Rich Froning 2010 vs Rich Froning 2012

Rich Froning apparently grew two inches from 2008 to 2010 (23 to 25).

[missbarslammer-blog]

aside from the growing (he's 5'9), the 'stats blowing up' thing is.. interesting. especially when you compare to more recent stats

his snatch gained a whooping 100lbs. clean and jerk? 115lbs. 3 years. yeaaaaaa

[mazelt0v]

canada: where hot politicians take off their shirts and box for charity

[postmodernismruinedme]

[dickneto2-deactivated20210815]

these guys are poliTICIANS!? 

[missbarslammer-blog]

...ewwwwwww justin trudeau ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww he's so full of shit. the other one is probably not better though.

[logicianmagician]

My animals are cute sometimes. They’re also really needy when I’m the only one in the house.

[missbarslammer-blog]

1st one #familypicture

[buzzfeed]

[tyleroakley]

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

[powerliftingtheworld-deactivate]

THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER SEEN

[missbarslammer-blog]

being impulsive, or how to say shit without thinking twice and end up hurting people without any intention to do so.

[missbarslammer-blog]

sooo i'm looking at the 6pack bag website and complaining about my problem finding a lunchbox and then boyfriend tells me he just found the perfect one for me.

i'm so marrying him

[mcgillmemes-blog]

Except for Quebec

Canadian proverb (via astratos)

[noperfectdayforbananafish]

(via Isabel Wilson — Freunde von Freunden)

[fishy]

I really need to get some plants.

[cuntamination]

[texas-raw-lifter]

/facedesk

[doublemeatwithguac]

This is why you don’t snatch with cloth straps - nylon all the way

[sollevatore-deactivated20150824]

It doesn’t have anything to do with her straps. You can clearly see that she doesn’t even try to let go of the bar. I’m sure the same thing would happen even if she wasn’t using them. This is just an example of not knowing how to dump the bar correctly. I’m sure she could avoid that problem if she didn’t jump about a foot forward too lol. 

[missbarslammer-blog]

butt too high coming up fast, cuts her extension short, jumps to catch the bar but isnt quick enough (tbh she wouldve had to jump at flash speed to save that one) but eh, it happens. happened to me, 2-3 times. it's scarier than it is painful.

[missbarslammer-blog]

sad little panda but my cat seems happy to give me a back massage with his little paws. 

i miss my fiance. getting started with paperwork is the only thing that helped me get through the night without crying my heart out

[klefable]

"she was special and unique because unlike other girls she read a book and drank a tea and didnt talk about a clothes"

young adult authors everywhere (via klefable)

#she wasn’t pretty like the other girls but she was skinny and white and conventionally attractive 

(via ladysaviours)

#she was also the hetero and she liked to look at the stars at night

(via thedeliverygay)

#she was clumsy and awkward but not in a determental way only a cute way#she didn’t like to talk to other girls bc they liked frivolous things that she was above

(via starkweek)

#And she was an old soul who raised herself, also her eyes were deep pools

(via sailoreuterpe)

#And she didn’t wear makeup but it was okay because she had flawless skin anyway

(via insidiousmisandry)

[logicianmagician]

Apparently in Québec this is acceptable usage of shellfish.

[goldomarc-deactivated20200414]

what’s wrong? i don’t see it?

[missbarslammer-blog]

shrimp flavored choco chunks aw yea

[scoobygangs]

Buffy Summers + Wordplay