6 months later and my breakup is now hitting me like a fuckin truck. and it's less that i'm sad that we broke up, though i am and it is sad to me because he is still one of my favorite people i've ever known in my whole life. but mostly because since we broke up i have been making poor decision after poor decision when i came from such a loving and safe relationship. i have a bad habit of knowing better and still doing dumbass shit... & i have been a shell of who i was and who i could be because i've been chasing a high that's so fleeting and unfulfilling and pointless, and i knew the whole time.
i was sad when Darien and i broke up but i moved on quickly, convinced that i would be okay like in most situations i find myself in, especially when it comes to my romantic life. i wish i sat in those feelings for much much longer-- not to dwell in the sadness but to appreciate the beauty of loving and being loved so purely, the softness that i felt when i knew i was cared for physically and emotionally and intellectually and spiritually. knowing and loving Darien brought much clarity to my heart and mind by way of reflection, and by witnessing a deeply beautiful soul day to day.
beyond Darien and moving forward as my birthday approaches and life changes are coming at me full force, i'd like to remember that i am loving and deserve to be truly loved. i'd like to embody the light and love that i know within myself and witness in those i am blessed to have and have once had. i'd love to be free from what i think i want and fiercely passionate about what i know i want in my heart. my flesh has been well fed but my spirit has been starving for most of the year
stormborns
baratheonpilled
2087
prguitarman
gummygunk
germansingergirl
