yearner!rafe & stubborn!reader
summary: she hates him, and he claims to despise her just as much, but years of their messy past and every dirty memory makes him yearn for her more and more.
warnings: implied smut, enemies to lovers , possessive behavior (rafe obsessing over reader) , drinking / substance abuse , angst (i think?)
he shouldāve stayed home tonight. he shouldāve listened to himself.
he found his eyes trailing her every time she passed, her vanilla scented perfume clinging to the air, setting his nerves on fire. but absolute the worse of it? blake carver, the school jock with a smug grin and reckless charm, was following her around like a lost puppy, laughing too loud, brushing his hand against hers, and igniting a fire in rafe that he couldnāt control. every laugh, every careless touch, every glance blake dared to steal from him made his chest tighten, his jaw clench, and something dark, possessive coil in his gut.
he hated it. he hated blake. he hated himself for wanting her even more.
he knew she didnāt go for guys like blakeābut that only made him angrier. the fact that she barely gave the kid a second glance, and he still managed to fawn over her, made the dark coil tighter in rafeās chest.
his chest was still buzzing from the lines heād just snorted, the sharp heat in his skull making everything louder, brighter, more unbearable. every laugh, every careless brush of blakeās hand against hers felt like a puncture, stabbing him over and over. his pulse hammered in his ears, eyes burning as if the world had shrunk to just her and that idiot. normally he couldāve held himself together, played it cool, let the night slideābut tonight? tonight the drugs had loosened every restraint, stripped away the patience he usually hid behind. every nerve ending screamed, every thought twisted into obsession, and that stupid, infuriating grin on blake carverās face made his stomach knot, his jaw ache, his hands clench so hard it hurt.
rafe stayed back at first, watching from across the room, letting himself take it all in. the way blake laughed, leaning in just a little too close. the way his hand slid around her waist, claiming her like she was already his. each movement, each careless touch, made a fire coil tighter in rafeās chest, high and raw and impossible to ignore. he knew he shouldnāt care. he knew he was overreacting.
but the drugs, the heat, the way every memory of her screamed in his headāit made patience impossible. he could feel his pulse hammering in his temples, every nerve ending screaming. his hands itched to grab, to push, to make it clear that she wasnāt his to touch.
he was moving before he even thought. the crowd blurred around him, music and laughter fading into the background. he shoved his way through, eyes locked on blake, chest rising and falling, jaw tight.
āfuckinā dick,ā he spat, shoving blake back hard, fingers digging into the front of his shirt, rafe and jealousy mixing into a chaotic knot. blake stumbled, surprised, hands flailing slightly. rafeās chest heaving, eyes blazing.
āare you serious?ā her voice cut through the haze, sharp and furious. before he could react, she shoved him square in the chest, making him stumble back a step, his fingers let blakeās collar free.
āyouāre a fucking child,ā she spat, staring him dead in the eyes, letting him feel the full weight of her scolding. then, her small hand found his bicep, gripping it firmly. without another word, she dragged him through the crowd, past the flashing lights and oblivious party-goers, out of the room, until she reached an empty spaceāa quiet bedroomāwhere she could finally make him face her.
once the door clicks shut behind her, the noise of the party fades into nothing. suddenly, itās just the two of them, the tension hanging thick in the air. rafe leans against the wall, chest heaving, jaw tight, but the fire in his eyes is starting to waver. his fists unclench slowly, the adrenaline giving way to a rawer, quieter stormāthe part of him that only she sees.
āwhat the hell, rafe.ā she just stares at him before sliding onto the bed. āare you fucking crazy?ā her tone is sharp, and he flinches slightly.
āoh, iām the crazy one now?ā rafe repeats, voice low, rough.
āyes. you are,ā she says. āwhy do you act like this?ā itās a genuine question. her eyes bore into his, and she runs her fingers through her dark hair, waiting, letting the silence stretch between them.
rafeās head bows, his face clouded with shame, every high-fueled nerve finally crashing down into something heavier, quieter, and almostā¦ real.
rafeās head bowed, shame clouding his face, every high-fueled nerve finally crashing into something heavier, quieter, and almostā¦ real. the party, the lights, the musicāthey all faded to nothing. there was only her, only the way his chest ached every time he thought of her, every time he remembered sheād been just out of reach for too long.
āthe fuck else am i supposed to do?ā he finally lifted his head, glossy eyes locking onto hers, pupils blown wide, heart hammering like a drum. ālet that dick touch youā¦ when youāre still mine?ā
her chest stiffened at the words, but she forced herself to act unimpressed, arms crossed, sharp and steady. āyours?ā she shot back, tone clipped, eyes daring him to break. rafeās jaw tightened, every inch of him coiling tighter. he hated that she could stand there and still make him ache. he hated that she wasnāt shaking, that she wasnāt begging him to stopābut he craved it all the same.
he took a step closer. then another. each movement measured, yet trembling with the chaos of high, rage, and need. finally, he sank to his knees in front of her, letting his head fall into her lap, chest heaving.
āfuck, babyāā he started, voice rough, breaking mid-word. her fingers found his scalp, tangling in his hair, weaving through the soft blonde strands, and his shoulders tensed under her touch.
she hummed.
rafe stood silent for a moment before lifting his head, his eyes were glossy, but not from the drugs.
he lifted his head slowly, eyes glossy, not from the drugs this time. āi need you,ā he hissed, teeth gritting as a single tear slid down his cheek. his hands twitched at his sides, as if he wanted to reach for her but didnāt dareātoo much pride, too much fear of breaking her, too much of himself unraveling. he bowed his head against your thighs, he placed soft kisses on the skin.
she let out a slow, exasperated breath, fingers tangling in his hair as she tugged gently, forcing him to lift his head just enough to meet her eyes. ārafeā¦ā she murmured, voice low, sharp, and just a little teasing. āyouāre a mess.ā
her thumb brushed along his cheek, wiping away the tear he hadnāt even tried to hide.
he hummed against her skin, lips soft but persistent, tracing slow paths over her thighs. the weight of his hands on her hips, the heat of his body, the sound of him murmuring against her made her pulse quicken. she shivered, fingers tightening in his hair, tugging just enough to let him know she felt it, but not enough to give herself fully.
ārafeāā she sighed out.
the room then shifted, and so did rafeās pants.
he pecked closer and closer, lips ghosting over her skin, hands landing firmly on either thigh, pressing them apart. ādonāt act like you donāt like it, honey,ā he murmured, low and rough, eyes locking with hers, daring her to argue.
she just watched him, biting down on her lip, heart hammering in her chest. his eyes locked onto hers, dark and intense, and she could feel the heat radiating off him.
he soon hovered over her, every movement deliberate, hands still resting possessively on her thighs, then snaking up to her waist. then, finally, his lips found hersāsoft at first, testing, tracing, tasting. she gasped into the kiss, a small, involuntary sound that made him grin against her, pressing closer, claiming her just enough to make her squirm under him.
his knee soon filled the gap between her thighs, pressing deliberately against her heat. she gasped into his mouth at the sensation, hands finding rafeās collar. she felt his smirk against her lips.
āyou love this, donāt you?ā rafe murmured as he pulled back from the kiss, just enough to look at her, to watch her chest rise and fall. his eyes searched her face, dark and knowing, waiting for her to deny it.
she said nothing. she couldnāt. her lips stayed parted, breath uneven, fingers still fisted in the collar of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.
rafe let out a low snicker, slow and satisfied, before shifting againāclosing the distance, once again pressing in deliberately, unapologetically. the reaction was instant. her body arched, a sharp gasp tearing from her throat before she could stop it.
āfuuuck, rafe,ā she breathed, head falling back, frustration and need bleeding into her voice. her grip on him tightened, knuckles brushing his jaw as if she didnāt know whether to push him away or pull him closer. āplease,ā she pleaded, the word slipping out before pride could catch it.
āplease what?ā he murmured, voice low, eyes locked on hers. āuse your words.ā
his knee stayed exactly where it was, not moving, not easing up eitherājust enough to remind her he had her attention, just enough to make her ache. his thumb brushed along her jaw, gentle but deliberate, forcing her to look at him. rafe watched her closely, like he had all the time in the world, like he wanted to hear it from her lips before he did anything else.
āi hate that itās always you,ā she whispered, the words trembling like a confession sheād been holding in for years. her fingers tightened in his shirt, pulling him closer, like letting go might shatter her. āplease,ā she breathed again, softer this time, need creeping into every syllable. ājust touch me.ā
āthen donāt fight it,ā he muttered, thumb brushing along her jaw. ādonāt fight me.ā
the words barely left his mouth before he was pulling her in, the kiss rough and desperate, like all the things heād been holding back finally snapped. it wasnāt careful or sweetāit was messy, teeth knocking, breaths stolen and given back in uneven gasps. his hands were everywhere all at once, gripping her waist, sliding up her back, like he needed to feel her just to convince himself she was real.
she kissed him back just as hard, fingers fisting in his shirt, tugging him closer, closer, until there was no space left between them. rafe groaned against her mouth, the sound low and unguarded, and it only made her pull him in deeper. his forehead pressed to hers for a split second, breath shaky, eyes dark and searchingālike he was checking one last time if she was really here, really choosing him.
āfuck,ā he whispered, almost to himself, before his mouth found hers again.