The Moment of Bliss @missingchrys-blog - Tumblr Blog

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Sainte-Chapelle du Palais, Paris

simplee-things

sunthetika

find beauty

wonderswoman

The Danvers Sisters + food

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suspend

forrestmankins

Paddling Lake McDonald in God’s country.

bobbycaputo

Dreamy Road Trip Across New Zealand Photographed by Johan Lolos

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hplyrikz

Clear your mind here

Just stupid late night thoughts and my random post

You know, miss the girl who thought she could be amazing. I miss the girl who was adventurous. When did life get so hard.

My responsibilities are dragging me down. Sometimes I wish I could just pack a back and travel. Meet new people, experience new cultures, and see everything the world has to offer. I know I shouldn’t be complaining because other people are less fortunate than I am. But what kind of life is thi if it’s not something that feels like me. I’m grateful that I have security but at what cost? Am I to put my selfish wants aside so everyone around me can live the life they want.

I know that if i leave then my family will suffer. But in my heart I know I want something more. This isn’t what I imagined for myself. Sometimes I think it’s not fair that I have to do the responsibilities that the head of my family should be doing. I was fcking third in line...but I wasn’t given the privilege to choose like the two before me. I don’t want our legacy to die but why God, why do I have to be the one. I know I shouldn’t be mad at you but right now, at this moment I am.

However, I do thank you for giving me today to relax and forget. It was like high school all over again with the exception of my awkwardness. That’s a whole other venting session. Yeah it happened years ago and I want to be okay. But i’m so darn awkward. This year I really want to try to fix that because that’s not who I want to be.

Oh well life is life. I will still thank God for all my blessings and find the silverlining in my mishaps. Tonight I will bum out and feel shitty, but once the sun rises, it is back to pushing forward. To be the person that can support my family and what I think is expected of me. Someday I pray that it will all fall into place and I will feel completely like myself again. Haven’t seen that girl since high school...