little miss

Little Mis(is)understood. Joanne. 35. Mom. BGC/MNL. Dreamer.

[misslittlemiss]

Just keep moving 👣 https://www.instagram.com/p/CqIH-hILNUB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

The other week ❣️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CqCcPZyL7ka/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

Just. Keep. Moving. https://www.instagram.com/p/CpNmLKJp-ga/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

Simplify ⭐️ https://www.instagram.com/p/Co6hmYPLuMJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

Sometimes, all you need is just to soak it all up! https://www.instagram.com/p/Coz0LYLhG7c/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

Just move forward, everyday. https://www.instagram.com/p/CowZskULl0L/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

Other worlds exist, too. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cos97dvhZAF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[misslittlemiss]

I’d like to think that there are really only two kinds of (romantic) love in the world.

First, the most passionate one, the one that has the most fire, most intensity. It’s exciting because there are different perspectives. It’s adventurous.

Second, a steady one, often boring, but is here to stay. It’s calm and dependable. Almost routinary and predictable.

The first kind, gives you butterflies in your stomach but also makes you want to fill it with alcohol.

The second kind, is calm, boring but you’d want to sleep on it every night.

You will think you can never live without the first kind. You’ll have years of regret after losing him/her. If you are lucky enough to end up with the first kind, you’re up for bumpy ride. It’s always going to have that friction from both your intensities.

The second is the one you’ll choose to settle with. However boring it may be. It will give you shelter and security. But it also risks of being let go so easily.

I’d like to think that my parents were the first kind. Hence, we grew up severely wounded by their fights and times apart.

While the second, apart from being mine. I’ve watched this in a film, “Kung Paano Hinihintay ang Dapithapon.”

Nang sabihin mo sa'kin na 'di mo na 'ko mahal, hindi ko naintindihan. Na pwedeng mamatay ang pag-ibig sa isang pagpikit at pagdilat. - Tere

[misslittlemiss]

namaste

When we close a chapter – we usually end it with a memory and this is how I did mine. Namaste for the universe for showing me the light and helping me remember a fragment of the past.

But these past few nights, I’ve been haunted by dreams again. Dreams of him – his presence in my life. Him being around; agitated.

Then the most recent dream talked about this tattoo which I honestly have not realized until the dream told me – this is his initials all put out together in order. When I chose this, the keywords I used is really yoga and namaste which I devoted myself into last year as way of healing in all levels. Yoga is essential not only in keeping my scolio in place but also my sanity and ability to focus. I was drawn to this symbol as I wanted to send gratitude to the universe.

Hence, I chose and etched it as a symbol of healing and closure for things that will never happen in this lifetime.

That morning, I chatted a good friend who knows about my spiritual journey and she saw what the dream said. Honestly, I NEVER EVER SAW IT THAT WAY. I guess this is the universe telling me that there will always be a connection even if we both choose to ignore and run away from it.

Nevertheless, we are still lucky to have met in this plain. But until then.

[tiffanyachings]

Derry Girls + text posts 3/?

[misslittlemiss]

Until then.

We had countless chances but we’ve lost them now.

A lot of times you just end up saying my name without even saying anything more. I have been longing - waiting as the only thing I could ever do.

I’m in stuck in a touch move. Numb and devoid of any intensity until this connection, but now I’m back to my previous state. The connection flew by so quickly and I’m glad it did.

It’s something that didn’t have a future; something from very distant past, too. Happy that we met again; but until then.

The mission for this union is to serve and serve with you, I will. So devotingly.

I can only unite with you in spirit and I’m subtly doing so.

We will meet again. Here’s to praying that our next lifetime will be better.

[misslittlemiss]

A potential screenplay

I felt it when we first met.

I saw the spark in his eyes too.

It was almost 5 years ago. But we’ve worked harmoniously since. Couple of times ending emails with a smiley.

There was a connection. Familiarity. But no one knows the string that connected us together. He tried to get me to his side but I rejected. Oblivious to the connection. Ignoring signs.

Late last year somebody told me about the attraction. But I laughed it off. I mean – I’m a miserable being.

Moving back to present. Pandemic hit. The world stopped. Everyone was left reflecting on their own. There was silence amidst the internal chaos – in households, in teams and in our minds.

I needed help – sought from spiritual advisors and then his name came up again. And again. It was something left in the subconscious that creeps up from time to time.

But its him to be hot and cold, all in then out, comes and goes. Nothing was ever consistent and both of us committed to others.

There were times I questioned. But they tell me it's still there. Until I got an advise about all these confusions - and an enlightment came in form of a past life, which as a devout Catholic, i never really believed in.

So i was told: we were married in our previous life but I was taken away from him all of a sudden and he never was able to move on. It was because of an illness, and I was told we had a child. We never had much time and he loved (his wife) so dearly.

A tear fell after that reading - how can I ever make it up to him? I can't do anything about it but pray that we both heal from the past.

If reincarnation is indeed true or fragments of our previous self is renewed, us meeting again in this lifetime is already pure luck - that our paths somehow crossed again. But what does the universe mean by doing this? How do we resolve the pain of the past that only I am aware of?

Looking back, in high school, I had a peculiar clairvoyance that I never really told anyone about. But I saw through near future - confirming things I saw after they happened. I also felt a familiar past - myself dying of something so sudden. I was never really able to connect.

Now it all makes sense; perhaps there was a promise. And there’s eternity. We meet again. We might have felt it again, too.

But life is much more complicated than Maruja. And we just can't get reunited like that.

[misslittlemiss]

deleted

[everythingtotheworld]

[misslittlemiss]

True Story #1

Neighbors always observe each other. Some choose to actively participate in their lives while some choose to just observe.

The house left from ours used to be a full home with a tiny sari-sari store. But since the matriarch died, the store closed, only one son was left who was also always out for long or drunk. With unfinished home improvement, he left the house for quite a while already, leaving his car in the garage and his dog wandering on the streets.

His dog, a white hairy AsPin, had similarities with our first family dog – Pulgoso. (You guessed it! We had him during Marimar Heydays.) Pulgoso started our family’s love for pets - dogs, cats, monkey, tortoise, rabbits and birds! (At one time, we had them all in our yard!) More than 2 decades from his time, he will always have our first love.

Going back, due to familiarity, Clark named neighbor’s dog Awaw. And when neighbor is not home, we (Clark and Mama) feed him dinner. After cleaning up the dinner table, Clark tells me, “Mama awaw eat (pointing to his mouth).” It became a routine for us. That every night, he will call “Awaw” or “tsutsu” to signal it’s his feeding time. Clark brings him water, at times too.

Awaw is probably old, as days gone by, his walk became weaker and weaker. Or it might be also because he’s not getting enough food.

Until the other night, his head was twisted and hesitated to move. His eyes were open but he seemed very ill and cold. Another neighbor (Neighbor A) was around him talking to him while another neighbor (Neighbor B) was on the phone talking to Awaw’s owner – telling him that “Homer,” his dog is reaching the end of his days.

At the time we left his food bowl, Neighbor A tried move the bowl closer to him telling him, “Tignan mo pinapakain ka rin pala nila, sige na kain ka na.” But Awaw didn’t budge.

We went back to our house and I thought that was very meaning. May God bless Awaw’s soul.

[misslittlemiss]

Ito po ang palaging naniniksik sakin #clarkat1yr #notcomplaining

[misslittlemiss]

Filed under: Another milestone to remember

9.3.17 Clark's 1st birthday

After playing in the bed, he managed to go down using my legs, i was sitted.

After settling standing up, he grabbed my hand and gestured that we go out, i told him, "Clark, mama can't walk wala akong slippers!" Then he picked my left slipper ang dangled it on to my big toe, next he picked up the right pair and dangled it on to my other toe!

Who would not be charmed by this boy?