Do u ever just think about the first time u met someone & then compare it to where u guys are now & its like wow who knew this would happen.
literally every day.
probably no one cares but i have no friends irl so i have to tell “someone”
but me and my current partner have been together for almost a year now and i still can’t get over how we met.
we had “almost met” so many times.
the first time is when i went out to the railroad tracks to watch the mars/super moon/lunar eclipse a couple of years ago.
i remember arriving to the tracks and having the oddest feeling, like i had just missed something important.. really important. like the entire car ride over, i kept feeling like i should rush, go faster, i was late.. but for what?
as soon as i got out of the car, i flew. i didn’t really have any idea where i was going but, something was pulling me in that direction. i started looking around and the clouds parted enough for the moonlight to illuminate a small path. from where i was standing, a gleam caught my eye, something.. wet? i walked over to the edge of the tracks, a small freshwater canal ran underneath and on the concrete wall supporting the bridge, i saw what looked to be two mutated faces fusing together, contorted in pain. then the sky cleared completely showing the faces repeated all along the path i had come from.
it was stencil work, i had guessed. how else could they have done so many so quickly? i touched them and they were still wet. i had blue paint stuck on my fingertips.
i remember feeling the strangest heaviness in my chest.. sadness? and as i wistfully gazed at the waning champagne rose colored full moon, i felt deep down that i had to wait. i didn’t know how long or what for but i knew i would eventually meet this person.
(later on we met and i had seen the same stencil tattooed on his calf and thats how i found out it was him but that’s another story)
the second time we met, is when i had downloaded the app tinder don’t judge me it was only for like a week i swear and i actually pressed like on his picture and profile. i remember it said something about model mayhem and photography i guess he was using tinder to promote himself? lol aand he never liked me back :/ lmao!
the third time we met, is when i was actually his neighbor and living with my then boyfriend. i was going to college for nursing and had to take local transit everyday. on my walk to and from school i would pass his pink two story terracotta roof house every day. and every day his annoying dogs would scare the sh*t out of me when they would wait until i was right where they were to start barking at me. and every day i would hear the same voice yelling, daisy hush! (one of his dogs names)
one morning when i was on a walk with my then boyfriend and i had heard him say hi to someone in a rather unusually friendly tone, so i looked up and there he was, the owner of the loud daisy dog pink two story terracotta roof house on the corner of the street. he was kind of cute. (i didn’t make the connection of who he was until after we started dating, obviously)
the fourth time we met my friends and i had went to a local bar to watch the mayweather ufc event. my hair was short and i was in my rebellious i hate men phase.
i was rather bored and drunk when a late comer had caught my attention. he looked so familiar to me but, i couldn’t see his face too well. he found his seat next to his date, in front of mine, i kept looking at him, waiting for him to look at me and notice. he looked up and as brown eyes met green, i felt.. nothing.
where did i know him from? who invited him anyways??
a couple minutes go by and he looks just as interested in everyone else’s conversation as i was. i had been watching everyone at the table. its just what i do, watch people. i think they’re more interesting than the tv any ways. but i decided to offer him some conversation and save him.
“nice piece.” i said under the loud tvs.
“what?” he looked like he was surprised i had been speaking to him.
“your necklace,” i said, “ isn’t it a smoking pipe? and theres an eye on it. it’s cool. i like it.”
I smiled, leaning my head on my hand tilting it to the side.
“uh- yeah it is,” he looked around nervously, like he was afraid his date was going to see him talking to me and that was the extent of it.
a little while later, he had invited everyone he knew out to his car to smoke his new pipe that he hadn’t tried yet. i waited for him to see if he would invite me but, he didn’t even turn around. later our mutuals had told me that if i had really wanted to go i could have. i just told them it was fine, that i was taking a break anyways but, inside i was disappointed, i had really wanted to go.
the fifth time we almost met, i was recently single from a fuck boy relationship, so i don’t need to tell you how done i was with relationships in general.
so anyway my friend was trying to find his “good guy” friend a girlfriend.
when he told me his friend was good guy and that i could trust him, i just rolled my eyes in response because, his last friend was a douche and he was supposed to be my friend too wasn’t he?
he apologized, claimed to not know about said douchey friend tendencies, and to give this nice guy a chance, that why don’t women give good guys a chance, blah, blah, long story short, i just wasn’t having it. i flat out refused.
the sixth time we met, i was single and room mating with some friends after i had graduated college. i was sleeping on their couch when i woke to the sound of the front door opening. i didn’t like being woken up from my naps because i had a job where i was waking up at 4 in the morning to make my commute and get to work on time, needless to say the expression on my face wasn’t a happy one. i looked up and it was him “the good guy” friend looking for my friend to pick him up.
(again had no idea who this person waking me up was, i hadn’t made any of the connections until after we started dating).
then a few weeks later “good guy” friend keeps coming around the house. we eventually start talking as friends and one day, he invites me to hang out at his house.
the entire car ride over i keep looking at my surroundings thinking to myself, how nostalgic i find myself feeling around him. no, i dont think thats quite the right word.. comfortable? like everything just comes so.. naturally. it just feels.. good.
eventually, i find myself turning down the same street where i used to live a few years ago with my ex.
wondering where the heck this guy is taking me, we finally stop and i look up.. no way. we are at the fricking pink two story terracotta roof house on the corner of the street.
the same street where i used to live.
and then as if that wasn’t enough when we both got out of the car he walked in front of me to let me in the house i noticed he had a calf tattoo of two contorted faces mutated, fusing in pain.. and introduces me to his dog, daisy, when we got inside.
my jaw literally dropped as all the connections started forming at once. my mind spinning. its you! this whole time it’s been you. i thought to myself in shock.
Staring at him i can’t think of what to say.
or even if i should say something.
where would someone even start that kind of conversation?
“i’ve met your dog before” i awkwardly spill instead. great that sounded stupid, “we’ve met before” i repeated back instead.
“we have? when?” he asked.
and isn’t that a complicated answer.
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true love does exist don’t let your opportunities pass you by, seems like i was going in every which direction stumbling around from person to person. but, when i finally gave up looking, that’s when it happened. i could see what had been there the whole time.
in retrospect he says that he doesn’t why but he just had this feeling ever since we met that he should just risk it and treat me like his girlfriend from day one.
its sad to say that action is risking yourself because, we live in a world where strength is more commonly associated with the disconnection /hiding of your emotions rather than connecting with people and sharing the experience. we are taught that in order to be strong that we have to be ruthless. but if you must be ruthless, love ruthlessly and become the beacon in the dark.
i am just so thankful everyday that we met and i will love him for as long as he will have me.
