MissVintageMisery

Small Twitch Streamer and Author Demon Bitch learning to command respect

[missvmisery]

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https://linktr.ee/MissVintageMisery

[missvmisery]

I am not heaven

Nor hell

I am purgatory

Stuck between what’s bad for me

And something better

Stuck between more than you know

It’s a hard place to be

To be stuck between wanting love from another

And wanting to love yourself

While not needing the love you crave

It’s being stuck between independence

And dependencies

I’m stuck between loving myself unapologetically

But yet not nearly enough

Stuck between other’s expectations and my own happiness

I’m stuck between having it all together

And falling apart

Stuck between making it look easy (it’s not)

And being honest about how hard it is (that’s not an actual option tho, now is it?)

I’m stuck between vulnerability and invincibility

Stuck between bad decision and bettering myself

I’m stuck

I’m stuck

I’m stuck

Between heaven and hell

In a purgatory

Of my own making

-Stuck In Purgatory

[missvmisery]

There I go thinking of you again

So I'll pull out my 10 reasons why you need to leave me be

1. You never wanted me (I wish you just would've told me so)

2. You've moved on

3. I've moved on (or so I claim)

4. You're selfish, you could've told me I was not what you wanted but you made me believe otherwise with pretty little nothings in my ear planted their by your pretty little mouth, just so I could stay around for when you wanted another fuck.

5. You don't care (if I'm being honest I don't think you ever did)

6. You left, but don't worry, I survived. And for once I was able to breathe easy although I admit the self control I had to instill not to pick up the phone and text you was nothing short of an Olympic feat.

7. I don't cry, but I remember crying so many times over you

8. I never knew a heart could be twisted and broken the way you twisted and broke mine. I never knew that a heart could break so hard that my chest physically hurt.

9. My heart needs to heal from you

10. I deserve better than the bare minimum. I don't deserve to have to be on my toes- walking on eggshells scared I'll say the wrong thing and you will leave without a word. I don't deserve to be lied to.

So I will choose you no longer

Instead

I'll choose to repair a heart you broke

Instead

I'll choose a person who I want to see happy

Myself

[missvmisery]

How Did You Sleep Last Night?

"How did you sleep last night," you ask I slept well Well not really I didn't sleep at all And I don't know where it all went wrong Maybe it started with the aching in my body that started it Or maybe it was the flashbacks This bought of depression The isolation The I just want to disappear right now I'm not really sure But I don't know if the reason matters all that much now But either way, I did not sleep last night Between the thoughts that I am not enough and never will be To the finally acknowledging that I am refusing to open up That the "needs help" and "venting" channels won't be used any time soon by me Even when I am in dire need Because I can't open myself up Maybe it's cause I'm hurt Or maybe I'm dealing with intimacy issues But you can't disappoint me You can't hurt me If there is a wall between us And you can't see my struggles All the tears I've cried All the blood I've bled If I keep you 5 feet away So if you ask me how I slept last night I'll say fine And I'll fake a smile, hoping it comes to my eyes to hide just how tired I am I'll hope that my achy muscles and breaking heart don't give me away That the tear marks are gone and my eyes are no longer red and puffy And I'll say I slept fine

[missvmisery]

The Dagger I Put In My Own Back [Misery, Miss V] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Dagger I Put In My Own Back

Book is now available! I can’t believe it! Thank you all so much!!! And from the bottom of my heart, I love you all!!

[missvmisery]

When I am hurt do not trust a word I say

I don’t care means I care more than you’ll ever know

I don’t love you means I love you so much it hurts

It doesn’t matter means it matters a lot

And just drop it means fix it

So do not trust a word I say when I am hurt

Because I am accustomed to building walls of steel around myself

To protect my heart

Because you have the power to hurt me

And I don’t want to hurt anymore

I feel as though I’ve been hurt enough

So

When I am hurt

Don’t trust a word that comes from pretty lips and a scarred heart

-Pretty Lips and A Scarred Heart

[missvmisery]

It's the limbo

The in between

The wanting to be touched

But don't you dare lay a fingertip on my skin

It's the wanting to be in others presence

But also wanting to spend your Friday night in a dark room on your own

It's the wanting to be held

Be reassured

But not letting anyone close enough to know anything wrong

This is my eternal limbo

-Limbo

[missvmisery]

I will always wonder

If it was my fault

Because my heart hurts to think you would do this without me causing it

That's not to say that my actions were wrong

That's not to say that your actions are right

Because I'm starting to realize

I can't please you

I can't

And it hurts

But I have to move forward

Because I am my own person

Who is deserving of my own happiness

Just as you are

But I can't sacrifice my own happiness for you

I know you did it for me

And I'm sorry you did

But that was a decision you made

And I can't change that

I'm grateful

But understanding of where I lie and what I owe

-Sacrifice

[missvmisery]

The universe keeps pulling us apart

In different directions

But for the better

Because this was killing me

The universe is showing you I am no longer for you

The universe is showing me you are no longer for me

It hurts

It kills me

Because I love you

But I can’t continue on like this

Because this isn’t love

This is control

This is killing me

I love you

I’m sorry

But I’m letting go

-The Universe Is Showing Us

[missvmisery]

Answer my riddle

What can get wet while it is

Drying? Good luck friend

A towel?

[tal-is-art]

ROUND TWO: Harder now:

Has a round strange face, but no

Smile. Good luck tik tok

[missvmisery]

A clock?

[missvmisery]

Answer my riddle

What can get wet while it is

Drying? Good luck friend

A towel?

[missvmisery]

She wears her heart on her cheek

But

She wears a dagger on her thigh

-Heart to Dagger

[missvmisery]

I realized something

Under the beautiful sky

With the moon shining down on my skin

I am enough

Like the moon always changing

But will always come back to my roots

I realized I am enough for myself

That I don't need someone to complete me

Instead

I want us to be so bright

That we can burn cities to the ground just by laying our fingertips on each other

-The Moon Is Bright Like The Touch Of Our Skin

[missvmisery]

When did a double standard become the standard?

I try appeasing

But it never works

It's wanting to do the right thing but getting punished anyways

When did a double standard become the standard?

-When Did A Double Standard Become The Standard

[missvmisery]

I don't want you to light a fire in me

I want to be bright on my own

A fire burning of its own accord

Taking in all the oxygen and making a fire that could never be burned out

I want you to hold my fire 

And not get burned

-Fire

[missvmisery]

Let’s make one thing clear

I give back what you give with interest

If you give me the world

I will give you galaxies

If you give me nothing

I will give you a black hole, a void of nothingness so vast it is unimaginable

-I Give Back What You Give With Interest

[missvmisery]

My veins are filled with ink

When I bleed

They stain a page

With all the things I wish I could say

-When I Bleed