This is what "my misery doesn't like company" looks like.
I'd prefer not to take it out on others, alongside preferring not to talk to people who don't understand anyway. And so, I stay isolated until I have everything figured out.
I've heard this is a symptom or sign of past trauma, but I don't see it as anything I need to fix or work on.
In these moments, I'm not self-harming nor am I trying to drag others down with me. I'm not allowing triggers to take over nor am I allowing the pain to turn me into something I shouldn't be.
In these moments, I'm actually trying. I'm self-regulating while untying the knots. The isolation might not be the most popular tactic but to me it's essential for focus.
I get it figured out, I heal what I have to, alchemize what I need to, and then tomorrow is a new day. Giving up is not an option. More thoughts later.