missweirdk

Welcome to my tumblr blog.

[missweirdk]

As a writer, you with or without your wish need to observe everything that happens around you and to you.

The bitterest experiences you ever had to go through, you put them down on a piece of paper and show it to others. Asking them for validation of your trauma.

Anytime something happens to you, you can't help but find solitude in the various combinations of the 26 letters.

The constant criticism, the constant neglection, and the constant self-doubt paired up with crippling anxiety.

No, I don't think words make a writer great. I think his perspective of the situation at hand is what makes him different, makes him great.

You need to be open-minded, you need to be humble, and on top of it all you need to observe. Learn to organize your thoughts. Learn to self-suffocate for the pleasure of others.

Tell me now, are we writers blessed or cursed?

[missweirdk]

People die every day. Some have a tragic death, some not so much. Life is not a circle. Life is whatever you want it to be. Dying feels like this epic end to an epic life. You get birthed, you fulfill your purpose then you die. That is how life feels, at least according to me. If plotted on a graph, it'd have lots of ups and down maybe some loops in between. I really don't know how to write beautifully like some authors, but I do know that I write whatever comes to my mind. You do leave yourself behind, a part of you or a part of who you used to be in the hearts and minds of people you used to be close with. We all do have our flaws, and our loved ones get to experience them more than we. This doesn't really seem fair to them, but when you die they hope to experience another one of your flaws just so they could feel you and your presence whenever they need you.

After losing someone who meant everything to you, it's hard, extremely hard. Maybe people who die live on forward peacefully, but those who continue to live, they experience null. Blessed are the dead, cursed are the living.

You come alone, you die alone. Anything in between, it's upon you. I still have a lot to learn, a lot of grief to process, and lots to experience. Hope that I'm blessed enough to get some answers on my own.

Augustus Waters, I know that you are fictional but I can't help that I resonate much with fictional characters. You left a scar behind on every single reader who read about you. Massive. I only wish to have a life as grand as yours. Rest in peace, Gus. Fear not the oblivion, for it fears you.

Love, K.

[missweirdk]

Drafts.

Most of my posts are actually drafts, I am a draft. That's the reason most of my posts are drafts. It's easy to write rather than to talk. I have no idea why. When I write, in this case, type, words just flow out of my head and onto the keyboard or the writing material. With talking, I actually have to put in some effort to express myself freely. I think I've always been the artistic one. I've been happier and the best version of myself whenever I express myself creatively. Writing is one such outlet for me. Academically I'm good, but never with peace. I have always been tensed, confused, or stressed. Never happy. When it comes to creativity, it's okay if you mess up, it's okay if you do anything. because everyone has different potential in an artistic sense. For me, it has always been music and writing. I have always expressed my deepest and darkest fears or my happiest moment in music or via writing. I am not ashamed of it, of course not. But I am scared of it. Because the longer I express my creative skills I am afraid that I might go down academically. Stupid, really. Maybe that is the reason I am afraid or scared to put my work out there. Because I know, if I do then ill succeed in it, and ill become the musical, artistic person in my family. In reality, what I want is balance. I want to have a stable career which I gained from being academically good and a hobby or a stress buster to express myself via arts. is that too much to ask?

[missweirdk]

They say childhood is the best phase of your life.

Throwing tantrums on a grocery aisle.

People who ask what you need and feed you, all day.

Why can't I ever think of these situations?

I was deprived of love at an early age, maybe that's why I don't trust you, honey.

I grew up figuring things as I went on the path they call life.

I don't know what is right, what is wrong anymore.

I just know the scars which pulled apart from me apart, tearing my childhood and innocence with it.

My heart is still bearing betrayals, ignorance.

I don't know who to blame, so I am blaming myself.

I don't how to take care of myself, because for so long nobody took care of me.

I am still in the process of healing.

All my sleepless nights winning.

All my love turned to hate.

My heart spits out the fire, baby.

[missweirdk]

Healing

Cuts by you, still ache.

Memories still hanging in there.

Never thought it'd be so hard to leave you.

You broke me like a promise.

You stabbed me in the back.

A thousand cuts by you, still ache, still ache.

I am healing from each of them, I am trying.

You were my flashlight, but you went away leaving me alone in a dark alleyway.

Why'd you had to leave me, alone in the dark alleyway?

Trying to escape, escape, escape. (Can I?)

I am left with scars and tears, Never-ending tears.

You are out there, enjoying it like it's your last day.

Why am I here, crying, crying thinking about you?

What did I do, to deserve this?

Was it fate that joined us or my bad luck?

So, why'd you had to rain on my parade?

Can I leave your memories? Can I forget your laugh? Can I stop caring about you?(Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?)

I am trying to heal.

Do I need a magic potion to heal? Is that it? is that enough?

Will it make me forget YOU? Will it? Will it?

My scars are bleeding and I've cried a river full of tears.

So, why can't I forget you? after doing all this? doing all this.

[missweirdk]

Night Changes (inspired by 1D thought)

So, I was listening to some songs on the terrace today. It rained, the sky was beautiful and mysterious. Before letting my thought out, lemme type down the lyrics that inspired me.

" We are only getting older, Baby

And I've been thinking about it lately

Does it ever drive you crazy?

Just how fast the Night Changes " - One Direction

Currently, I am studying in my last year of high school. And the first lyrics sorta resonated with the experience that I am going through right now. Night changes. These 2 words can be interpreted in many different ways. I always used to love the thought of nighttime. Just darkness allowing itself into my grill windows. Bright, shiny moon luring me into itself to experience its borrowed light. Watching my comfort tv shows. Eating unwanted junk. Acting like a movie star or singing. A lot of stuff happens after 10.

We usually spend most of our time sleeping through Nighttime. That's how it's supposed to be for humans, it seems. Ugh, now I am jealous of bats. Somehow, Nighttime is different for everyone. We feel confidence, happiness, sadness, love, friendship, fun, anger, and a lot of emotions during nighttime. This is the time when we relax, play some songs, apply a mask, rethink the day. It's so beautiful yet mysterious.

Night does change a lot. One night, you feel like you could rock a concert, be a badass. The next night, you are extremely let down, sad, hopeless. and this where the 3rd line comes into play, it definitely does drive me crazy!

I don't know if this is for everyone, or just me. but I just wanted to say it out loud. Don't worry about anything that happens, it will pass. Love yourself!

No one can understand you and motivate you like you. Be the best version of yourself.

Cheers to 1D, for these beautiful lyrics!

Until then, Goodbye folks!

-missweirdk

[missweirdk]

Don't judge me.

I drink caffeine for happiness.

- Some random T-shirt quote

[missweirdk]

Teenage

I’ve thought about this topic a million times. Teenage is just a simple, a cusp, a transition. It’s confusing. People want you to behave like a child in some situations, and an adult in a few situations. Everyone has different experiences. A few experiences might be learning, educational and some might have horrible ones. We should discover who we are at this stage. Our voice, Our purpose. It’s mentally tiring, physically too. Teenage is also considered a taboo topic in this society. We have lots of thoughts, one different from each other, sometimes the different thoughts learn from each other.

These are just my opinions. If you find it rude or if it doesn’t make sense, Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. I am sorry if i hurted your feelings by talking about this topic. Also feel free to talk about your opinions in the comments. Until next time, see ya!

-missweirdk

[missweirdk]

“When I look at the droplets on the leaf, it’s takes me to a whole new clear world without any problems” 

I can’t take amazing stock photos, so sorry for the quality people!

[missweirdk]

newbie

I am kind of new to tumblr. 50% possibility to delete this post later.