HELL BOUND 🔻

black anarcho-commie bisexual filmmaker art bitch. 33. embarrassing secondary blog haver. double edge issa knife. she/her. viva palestina—pan africa with love. other: moribondslut

[moribondslut]

hey you, you're way ahead of me, you're drunk on apathy

hey you, so bored and cynical. it's fucking wonderful they sold you out! and, oh, they've bought and sold it all it's gone! they've taken it and built a mall! and now they're playing your song!

[misterbitches]

W.E.B. DuBois Criteria of Negro Art

Pinned post? This is who I am and what influences me so know b4 u get caught off guard:

I am a black anarchist communist [feminist] filmmaker and artist (with some cool shit to show for it!), a young millenial and it shows with how much i hate the world and must rebuild anew. As an artist, I have a deep deep DEEEEP critique of how we articulate and interpret critcism of anything PARTICULARLY cultural output and “media” and how that relates to our entrenchment. I hate rich people and I am not joking, i hate the state, i hate empire. What we have been ingesting is also propaganda so even with my enjoyment i will—must—talk about it. Everything we do has meaning. I will never vote in an american federal election again ever in my life and i take the idea of change, revolution, very very very seriously and yes my place in it. I do some organizing irl and am a part of “left” spaces.

That, my blackness, and bisexuality—which i am proud of despite everyone including “my own community” not wanting me to be and which i am absolutely going to talk about more wrt these shows—are integral to me as an artist and how i go about finding courage and getting over fear. I don’t pull punches if i think something isn’t right but i’m open to being corrected when necessary. Even if this is just some dumb blog where i can come back to it when i find something interesting that i want to see more of im STILL going to be this person. and this commitment and fear of future has gotten deeper since 10/7, one of the greatest modern resistance projects we have ever seen and one that has deeply moved me. so I take the WEB DuBois quote with the utmost sincerity.

My love of the world means that everything means something and i want to truly enjoy life not merely as a spectator. If you are looking for someone easy and fun i am that and quite naturally youthful but my values are so much a part of me ans my principles as a black anarchist come and love of this universe and yes my anger? Come first.

I am not an apolitical person and neither are you. (nor is that thing ur watching! it serves a purpose!) I never have been, i never will be, and my existence as an artist means i have no interest in pretending anything else is not either. Take what you will from that but that’s how i approach whatever the fuck youll see here. I am also very funny and pretty and pretty talented :)

🇵🇸 🇸🇩 🇭🇹 🇨🇺 🇳🇨 🇨🇩

[yuujies]

[nachtfaust]

[misterbitches]

idk how i feel about any of this lol

waffling back on forth on the pacing of the manga and thinking about length and what they're trying to say. right now nothing means much and that's a problem. also the mechanics of the sphere/ground and those dynamics. i feel like this is a major impediment and i had more to say but then i was like whatever. but there's something that isn't quite right with how it's going along—like we're several steps behind but in a distracting way.

anyway, i like that song when he turns the thing into the huge gun in ep 20

[misterbitches]

how tf can i get through this show. why were they "fighting for equality" and it' sjust psoters that say EQUALITY FOR ALL, PEACE NOW, BE EQUAL

WELL HO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????

wtf does this fucking mean. why is the world so interested in misinterpreting reality to shell out to young people so they don't take action now. this is so fucking frustrating bc it means absolutely nothing. and i am telling you right now that there is a tradition for black liberationists , revolutionaries who said: if they kill one of our kids, we will make them regret it. revenge is a part of fighting for freedom; against colonialism, imperialism, and capitalism.

i know me banging pots and pans will change nothing but i hope it makes people think more. why don't they tell us what these people were fighting for, how they're doing it, and why aren't we thinking about why the state reacted in violence? why do they have to be peaceful? ultimately the rich and the state will save the day. not good, not good.

valueless and meaningless. people want freedom (from what? how?) and equality ("human rights" bs bc if ur gonna pull from a revolutionary/black/red army type thing then u gotta be specific and they were not asking for rights)

just annoying man lol bc how the audience interprets it is in very directionless ways. i wish this man just stuck to making poor social commentary and didn't involve real life signifiers that make people discuss this show in very specific ways that shape their worldview and inertia. lawddddd. this is my fault i know it's just that anya is so cute and precious :'(

and it's just not good when it's coming from japan bc it shields their involvement in the order—perhaps not intentionally but it doesn't matter—and it just demonizes the revolutionary leftist history that very few people know about (i know there must be actual japanese ppl who talk abt this but the language barrier is a problem. but i will do more research as i know what i know loosely and cos of the networks created! but these fuckers gOT DOWN like international left/rev connection was huge and they would talk to groups like BLA and PFLP liek...pijgioahgshiogahgho) it's killing me man

[tylostoma]

underseen films directed by women

with letterboxd links (i'm bored). feel free to leave your own recs!

girls of the night (1961), kinuyo tanaka

so far from india (1983), mira nair

children of shatila (1998), mai masri

the company of strangers (1990), cynthia scott

the cherry tree with gray blossoms (1977), sumiko haneda

day night day night (2006), julia loktev

embracing (1992), naomi kawase

song of the exile (1990), ann hui

living together (1973), anna karina

sacrificed youth (1985), zhang nuanxin

just another girl on the i.r.t. (1992), leslie harris

shinjuku boys (1995), kim longinotto, jano williams

leila and the wolves (1984), heiny srour

fast color (2018), julia hart

flight of the swan (1992), ngozi onwurah

travolta and me (1993), patricia mazuy

u.s. go home (1994), claire denis

portrait of a young girl at the end of the 60s in brussels (1994), chantal akerman

merrily we go to hell (1932), dorothy arzner

blood tea and red string (2006), christiane cegavske

the mourning forest (2007), naomi kawase

the scarlet flower (1978), irina povolotskaya

forever a woman/eternal breasts (1955), kinuyo tanaka

losing ground (1982), kathleen collins

the day i became a woman (2000), marziyeh meshkiny

be pretty and shut up! (1981), delphine seyrig

the other side of the underneath (1972), jane arden

the final exit of the disciples of ascensia (2019), jonni peppers

bärbel and charly (1994), ute aurand

clotheslines (1982), roberta cantow

tremble all you want (2017), akiko ohku

peppermint soda (1977), diane kurys

i was a teenage serial killer (1993), sarah jacobson

sink or swim (1990), su friedrich

the girls (1968), mai zetterling

twelve nights (2000), aubrey lam oi-wah

maria's days (1960), cecilia mangini

kamome diner (2006), naoko ogigami

the book of mary (1985), anne-marie miéville

once upon a time... (1990), galina barinova

girls' encounter (2017), yûka eda

the fourth dimension (2001), trịnh t. minh-hà

the lighthouse (2006), mariya saakyan

daughters of chaos (1980), marjorie keller

the amazonian angel (1992), maria klonaris, katerina thomadaki

bernice bobs her hair (1976), joan micklin silver

[chilewithcarnage]

added some more black woman directors

a thousand and one (2023), a.v. rockwell

down in the delta (1998), maya angelou

i am somebody (1970), madeline anderson

daughters of the dust (1991), julie dash

belle (2013), amma asante

sky captain (1985), neema barnette

just another girl on the i.r.t. (1992), leslie harris

mountains (2023), monica sorelle

novitiate (2017), margaret betts

ayiti mon amour (2016), guetty falin

eve's bayou (1997), kasi lemmons

saint omer (2022), alice diop

the watermelon woman (1996), cheryl dunye

13th (2016), ava duvernay

pariah (2006), dee rees

zola (2020), janicza bravo

the fits (2015), anna rose holmer

shakedown (2018), leilah weinraub

[misterbitches]

i have been needing sex scenes that werent fucking awful and wow shine delivered. i pretty much am only watching this for apo atp (didnt know it was it was politics and has bisexuals) but so far out of all the boc shit ive seen and the embarrassing fucking gifs from the other one trillion series on any given network that try to cram in as much sexless sex as possible when i search the tags for sth to watch b4 bed…these sex scenes are great (all couples) particularly tanwa and trin’s and i mean across the board of any genre and media and queer or not. that closeness that sensuality 😭

idk like yea man i know we can get rough but it’s soooo fucking cartoonish in most shows and it’ just stressful to waych. sex is gross and embarrassing in really good ways. not like that tho.

a rly good sex scene was in 4minutes with that other couple but then u find out that was a fucking child and it’s weird as shit and unnecessary and not great anymore! Yay!!! Labor!!!

so far this company (despite the disgusting shit i mentioned above) has done two things: sex scenes have gotten way better and are enjoyable to see and show connection and pleasure and encouraged a lot of ql to invest in a good camera and a colorist and get some competent caring with tighter storytelling. there’s no reason more shows can’t be like those or try to even if money coule be an issue. ITSAY really pioneered that for me but is such and incredible show and story; the production had really dedicated people and with more work other shows can bring that production and technique along with the tight stories. boc could be on its way idk

or maybe this genre is just doomed forever idk

[yuzukahachimir]

It's the same facial expression😂

It amuses me that both Loid and Anya make the same face when they can't stand the crap Franky and Damian do sometimes.

[misterbitches]

highkey they're both terrible parents and loid moreso. like if you think about it. but bringing kids into the world is fucked up anyways (i mean they didn't physically but ykwim).

but as a person with a horrible childhood, a fucked up family, and had 2 (biological if that's important gross) parents who i unfortunately love very much...loid and yor are such good parents. i put up with some of the shit i hate in sxf because the love they have for her. that's why i'm so eager to see more of loid's love to anya. yor's love for anya is such a force and she's so respectful and unnerstanding. anya frustrates loid as a person, a fake dad who knows he's a fake dad but has to be a real dad to be a fake dad (as in do the stupid spy job), and as a real dad that he doesn't realize he is (this sentence was hard. i'm high).

loid is fucking weird. he's the only person that i see that understand anya's strangeness as a part of her. (even though it's gross) the spy show is a great conduit. its' convenient but it's a point of connection and something anya strives towards. she liked it before they met (iirc?) and she wants to be like him (loid, not bondman). they're similar. some of the funniest moments are when she says something ridiculous and he responds by playing off of her. he finds her funny because she is.

in another tv show, this is how you'd imagine a teen or father in his 20s, raising his child on his own. the short time it was just the two of them it really seemed like it was anya and loid against the world. and it was and is in a sense. many times it feels like he's her father and her comrade.

anya is so special! sxf wouldn't work without her. anya's loving, honest, strange/different nature (that stems from her loneliness. i think anya has had a lot of time to figure herself and others out. she's very immature because she's five but for a five year old she's a complex thinker for sure). she's a really good judge of people though if she wasn't that would be concerning. in the most affectionate way possible, anya really is a little gremlin. what a mischievous lovely girl and twiyor know it ;-;

[the-stars-and-the-moon]

I just still really love this interaction after Yor acknowledges her feelings for Loid. Yor's gentleness as she tries to explain to Anya... in a moment that's climactic in relation to Yor and Loid's relationship, Endo manages to also show us Yor's strengths as a mother and how her and Anya's relationship has grown as well.

[itsmaferart]

A world where children don’t have to cry

I just read a brief theory by @piracytheorist that absolutely blew my mind.

The idea that Twilight’s true wish —his core motivation— is not exactly “a world where children are happy,” but rather “a world where children don’t have to cry,” completely changes the perspective.In Twilight’s mind, “not crying” probably equals “not suffering,” and if you don’t suffer, then you must be happy. It’s a logic he needs to believe.

But when you stop and analyze it, you realize this mindset is also the foundation of his identity as a spy and the reason he feels such a strong bond with Anya and Yor.For Twilight, the key is to avoid at all costs the situations that might provoke emotional pain. His strategy is to prevent trauma through detachment: not forming deep connections with others because he feels he lacks the tools to manage that suffering on an emotional level. His past and his current way of life have trained him to survive through reason and control, not through vulnerability.

A clear example appears in the cruise arc, where he confronts fear and discomfort through exhaustive logical analysis, even trying to decode Anya’s emotions as if they were predictable patterns.

Cold reasoning is his comfort zone, as it gives him the illusion of control. But when he faces emotional suffering —something impossible to measure with precision— he tends to collapse or overreact. Especially when he believes he’s causing Anya emotional pain, even though most of the time it’s just a misunderstanding caused by her mind-reading abilities.

Anya’s true pain, however, doesn’t lie in the traumas Twilight imagines, but in her constant fear of being abandoned. She worries that if she isn’t useful to the mission, her father will stop loving her —or worse, reject her altogether. That is the core of her insecurity, though Twilight doesn’t fully grasp it yet.

At its core, Twilight’s wish to protect Anya and all children from tears is nothing more than a projection of his own childhood suffering, of that boy once called a “crybaby” who swore he’d never feel that way again. Without realizing it, Twilight projects these insecurities onto his daughter, who, ironically, often shows far greater emotional resilience than her own father.

And this is where Yor comes in. Twilight not only sees her as Anya’s safe haven but also as his own. Yor embodies the emotional strength he cannot handle within himself: someone capable of feeling, expressing, and confronting emotions without fear. That gives Twilight a sense of comfort and security he denies himself.

In conclusion, what’s fascinating is that Twilight’s wish isn’t simply to “protect children,” but to prevent them from experiencing the same pain that scarred him. His greatest paradox is that, in doing so, he ends up projecting his own ghosts onto those he loves most. And while he runs away from emotions, Anya and Yor show him, day after day, that true strength lies in facing them head-on.

[misterbitches]

man :') anya is so special look at what she did

[misterbitches]

i would love anya to have a younger sibling or close family but i feel like people should stop talking about it like an obligation or wanting a "biological child". not only is it sad for her, who's such a loveable girl, she also didn't choose them. they (WISE and loid really) chose her. against her will. idk there's something frustrating about it, as if she'll always have this disconnect with people because she doesn't share their blood even though people whose parents do share their blood can be horrible to their own.

anya is such a wonderful little girl, anyone would be elated to have her. i just genuinely think people feel like for yor to give birth, it's this higher form of love meanwhile anya literally lives in their heads. i do get the impulse, trust me, i want children but anya's already been left behind, picked up, fucked around with so much. when is she going to be good enough?

that's still her family. even if she didn't call them mom and dad they're still hers. for ex there's not a word i can use to describe who frieren is to fern. she's not her mother, she's not her sister, but she isn't a friend. she's her caretaker and the most important person in her life (and for frieren, fern is too). heiter never felt the need for a "biological" child. (besides the patriarchy and misogyny in that but whatever)

idk like it is so cute to think of them having another child yea but um....it also signals something. imagine how anya would feel to see someone who looks just like two of the people she loves the most, having them devote a substantial amount of time to a new child, and the pain and disconnect that would be for her. i'm sure this is a real thing adopted children go through. it's painful. yea.. personally whenever this ridiculous piece of works gets around to them getting together and being good parents to her (and apologizing), i'm not sure if they'd even want more than anya. anyway ppl should try as much as possible to make sure that it isn't the biological component that draws them to wanting to see loid and yor raise and love a child through infancy.

also that they would move heaven and earth to make sure she understands it isn't the biological aspect. unfortunately, that would probably be partially a lie. it is what it is but that's why u work even harder. or her mom could come back and they could all raise her that'd be cool

[heaven-is-in-your-arms-series]

An understanding of the traditional Thai attitudes towards Homosexuality

I see a lot of discussions prompted by Shine the Series and especially towards the conclusion of the series so I thought it might be helpful to share this extract from 'First Queer Voices in Thailand,' by Peter A Jackson.

His book focuses on the attitudes held in the 1970's and 80's but would still apply to the late 1960's when Shine is set.

I hope that sharing this might give some people a better understanding of the choices that characters like Krailert, Naran, Trin and of course Dhevi and Dao all make within the series.

The following passage is talking specifically about men like Krailert, Trin and Naran who were considered "straight passing," and actually in that time they would have been considered heterosexual, especially if they were able to take a wife and fulfil societal norms as Krailert, Naran and Trin all had the potential to do.

At that time, men who were able to penetrate other men were considered to be "proper men," or "full men," as opposed to those who were on the receiving end. (Yes, Top and Bottom discourse has been around forever 😆) and if a man looked feminine or dressed as a woman (was trans) then they were labelled kathoey and were often ridiculed and abused. And men who slept with kathoey and fulfilled the role of "Top," often weren't considered gay at all. Only those who preferred to be penetrated or who were visibly perceived as not masculine were considered "fully gay."

There are many traditional Thai ways of referring to bisexuality which shows that idea people having both same sex experiences and heterosexual ones was not unusual and in an era where same sex friendships were considered more appropriate than mixing boys and girls, it is not surprising that for many, their first sexual experiences were with friends of the same sex and this was true of both men and women.

From First Thai Queer Stories

In understanding the place of homosexuality in the lives of masculine-identifiied Thai men…it is necessary to appreciate that the Thai heterosexual male is presented with three cultural models of masculine sexuality…he can, and should, have a chief wife (mia luang) to whom he has a long term social and economic commitment.

But if he is wealthy enough, he can have one or more, long-term lovers or “minor wives (mia noi), and he can also seek sexual gratification with a prostitute (sopheni).

In Thailand extramarital relations for heterosexual males have significant social tolerance, although not always approval, and can also include sexual relations with other men.

However, because homosexual relations are by definition extramarital, they are perceived as peripheral to the central focus of the family.

Indeed, to be acceptable within the traditional Thai sex/gender system, homosexual relations between gender normative males should remain secondary to a primary marital or de facto heterosexual (reproductive) relationship.

The operation of these values, in which homosexuality is tolerated so long as it remains marginalized, commonly leads both heterosexuals and homosexuals to perceive male homosexuality as being of a similar character to relations with a minor wife or prostitute. That is, the idea that a man could commit himself to a relationship with another man in the same way he commits himself to a wife is alien to the traditional Thai schema of masculinity.

Homosexual relations between men, if acknowledged, are generally seen as transient.

Nevertheless, so long as homosexuality remains on a level similar to relations with a prostitute or minor wife, and does not threaten the primary, reproductive relation with the chief wife, a Thai homosexual man’s masculine identity can often remain largely intact.

To summarise, traditional Thai male sex/gender roles have proved two main avenues for the expression of male homoeroticism, namely, placing homoerotic relations at the focus of a male’s sexual life, but thereby sacrificing masculinity and becoming a kathoey [here meaning a trans woman or an effeminate “non straight passing” male.]

Or, alternatively, marginalizing erotic relations with males and thus preserving masculinity. [Important to a man's status in Thai society]

On this latter point, there are three main strategies by which non-kathoey homosexual men in Thailand render their homoerotic relations peripheral, preserve their masculinity, and avoid the stigma of being labelled a kathoey. These strategies are:

1.Remaining unmarried but continuing to adhere to masculine behavioural norms. This often represents a purely apparent marginalization of homoeroticism involving obscuring a predominant homoerotic sex life behind a performance of heterosexual masculinity.

2. Keeping a homosexual lover in a position equivalent to the marginalised status of a minor wife and, at least nominally, keeping a wife at the centre of his social life; or

3. Keeping homoerotic contact with men at a level equivalent to heterosexual prostitution i.e., casual and fleeting.

None of the above strategies threatens the centrality of mariage or the family in a homosexual man’s life, and a Thai male who keeps his homoerotic contacts at the level of a minor wife or prostitution (i.e., casual sex) is considered capable of maintaining his responsibilities to his chief wife and children.

Indeed, male homosexuality kept within the bounds of one of the three above strategies is rarely an issue in Thailand.

Kraikert choosing to marry was considered not only acceptable but even preferable in the era the story takes place and Dhevi learning that he likes to sleep with men would not have made her assume they couldn't have a happy marriage with children and status and her clinging to their marital status in spite of everything would not be at all unusual to people living in that time even if it makes our hearts ache that Krailert and Naran couldn't escape off into the sunset together.

[misterbitches]

thanks so much for sharing. i want us to really hone in on what this is saying. the patriarchy, misogyny, heterosexism, monosexism all contributes to this white supremacist exploitative accumulative (now capitalism), imperial colonial dominant, western hegemonic influenced, internal imperial/colonial societal mechanisms that are necessary. SPECIFICALLY STATES that it's "can and should" with a wife and IF HE IS WEALTHY ENOUGH. this is something a lot of our pre colonial societies had as well.

also the roles of active/passive. it is not simply about holes or being a hole. there's a reason penetration is off limits and patronage and pederasty are big. as well as the type of masculinities and sexualities we are shaped towards, how it goes towards our desires. how being is politicized and our bodies and lives do not exist independently of it.

also about enacting masculinity. tie that into nation, the red/black scares, and what is going on at the time....the fact that there are people on the outskirts of town v the developing city...the social tolerance is conditional and always necessitates an obfuscation of multivalent life and NEEDS the underclass in so many different, complex ways.

so tired and typing quickly cos i'm at work but yea. so much to think about here and to learn.

[misterbitches]

gay in a tag where both the men are bisexual lmaooo jesus i have a lot to say.

[angelicalbl]

You know, more millionaires should skip their 15th mansion and start funding multi-million dollar BL series to live out their gay fanfiction AU dreams—mafia boyfriends, rockstar angst, omegaverse heat cycles. Do something useful with your wealth!

[misterbitches]

let's dream bigger. they could redistribute the wealth and we should make a new world where people can make art not beholden to capitalist imperial colonial domination. which they won't do so we have to take it :)

[misterbitches]

i am going to buy cigarettes tomorrow if i die it’s

This show’s fault

[misterbitches]

That’s not what being on fucking WEED is like i mean i know they had better shit back then but like no dude ur drunk as fuck, high, and a fucking speedball cos wtf lmao