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KIROKAZE
if i look back, i am lost
Kaledo Art
One Nice Bug Per Day
Show & Tell
oozey mess
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NASA
ojovivo
RMH
macklin celebrini has autism
izzy's playlists!
we're not kids anymore.
blake kathryn
🪼
dirt enthusiast
will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Today's Document
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seen from Brazil
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@mistercray
One of my students (14 years old) was just arrested for armed robbery.
Six foot one, 230 stack of dumb and angry. Tough to believe that it's too late for a kid at 14 but I'm not taking that on.
Update: found out that this 14 year old (who already had an ankle monitor) has been involved in 13 felonies. Not necessarily committing all but present for 13 felonies at the age of 14. He was gone before he arrived.
Getting to know you
One of our first week activities is a getting-to-know-you type survey. One question asks what the student wishes our class would cover this year.
Briana answered:
-How long could someone live after their heart is taken.
-How easy is it to pull/pop out someone's eyes.
-What would happen if someone was injected with a lot of needles filled with acetone.
The sinister curiosity of 14 year olds is one of my favorite things about this job.
Voicemail
I have a kid that wont stop yelling “White Power!”
This child is a gay black girl that wears cat ear headbands everyday and insists on being called “Bunny”.
I spoke to her about it a few times and eventually had to leave a parent voicemail with the wildest string of words that I can remember crafting.
Kids were huddled in a way that usually means trouble. Caught this just in time. I asked the kid to save it for another class. I’d prefer that meltdown happens in math class.
Warning
Came back from lunch and this sign is on my door.
Starting off right
Today was our first staff wide meeting (on Zoom). Its mostly crotchety teachers complaining about Covid protocols and mindless ice breakers.
Now that I’ve been here a year I feel comfortable starting up meeting games. In order to stave off insanity from inanity, I challenged the other science teachers to use more nonsense words than me to our 150+ participant meeting.
I got three in but my brave coworker pretended to get an error while updating zoom and listed off a ton as technobabble.
The giggling got out of hand and the department head got a private message asking if we went out for drinks this morning. (We’ve done it on other non-student facing days but not today.)
I think it’ll be a pretty good year.
Parent emails are great. Today's was extra great. One of my darlings hasn't done anything this year. He hasn't responded to calls, emails, zoom chats. I can't be 100% sure that he exists.
He's moving to Saudi Arabia. Dad wants me to move my office hours to anytime between 9 and 11 am...Saudi time.
Nah.
I'm in a Zoom parent conference. One of our bad kids hasn't turned in anything yet this year. The math teacher mentioned how many assignments were outstanding. The kid must have though he was on mute... "Outstanding? I ain't done none of that. She on some real shit."
After 5 minutes of following a student's question rabbit hole, we arrived at the question "if you cooked your own hand to medium rare, would it still work?"
This is the true upside to being a teacher.
Pulled a student aside (in Zoom) and asked why they hadn't turned in any of the classes assignments since school started a few weeks ago.
"I know it's not true, but it just feels like online school is optional."
I completely understand, but she's still got an F.
New state. New job. New Pandemic. Same old shit.
School is entirely done through zoom. First day of school a kid refused to change his name from "Legalize Ranch".
Gonna be a long year.
The district waited too long to declare a snow day so we all just kind of went with it. We had about 1/5 of our kids and it was the best day of the year. Teachers can't really do anything important since most of the kids are absent so it was all games and movies.
I took my class of heathens outside to collect snowballs to bombard my friends class. I'm an idiot and trusted teens to be more mature than teens and they took this opportunity to hurt other kids with ice.
I'm a bad teacher for not seeing this inevitable end to unplanned fun.
Grandpa’s gloves
There’s a “security” guard that’s been at our school for years that students and most adults refer to as “Grandpa”. He was a cop years ago and this is his retirement job. He’s elderly, retiring in a couple months and generally pleasant to be around.
Some kids stole his gloves put them in a urinal and filled them with piss.
It would have been a shitty thing to do to anyone, but to an elderly nice person in winter, is fucking evil.
A girl had her first day of school today. Not first day at this school...her first day of school is happening at 13 years old.
Mom, an addict, "homeschooled" and moved around often enough to avoid authorities intervening until mom finally overdosed. Grandma now has custody and enrolled her in school.
She doesn't stand a chance.
One of my darling hoodlums brought a gun to school and pointed at some kids to scare them. Glad he likes me.
Update: He was expelled. It may seem obvious but I wouldn't have been shocked if it didn't happen. He just happened to do it on camera.
Being the school librarian has been a welcome departure from the classroom. I've been able to spend my time on important things and fun projects. It doesn't make for good stories here but it certainly felt more sustainable for a career...until today.
We send our hard core bad kids to an alternative school. The alternative school is full and not accepting our submissions anymore. So guess who gets to "teach" the kids we would expell if we could?
It's the task no one else wants and I don't have tenure. So here we go again.
Failed hunt
In 2019, we have active shooter drills semi-regularly and since I'm half important, I have a radio.
How this all works (at this school) is that a staff member is designated "the bad guy" and everyone goes on lock down. The administration and security team searches, both physically and over the cameras to find the offender.
Yesterday's was sad/hilarious. I have a couple students and a couple adults locked down in a backroom of the library. Over the radio we hear the attempts to locate fade into desperation. "300 building clear. 200 clear."
Then the "bad guy" chimes in and says "Colder".
After 10 minutes of clues and frustration the boss gives up. "Damnit, guys. Let's call it. Ok, April, where are you?"
It was determined that a few of our cameras that have been dead for months, would've really helped.
Boss wasn't happy that students got to hear the failure directly, so I got to get rid of the radio I never wanted in the first place.