Separate posts + long doc won in the end, so weâre doing it like this
This comes from the video A Parkour Map Designed to Make Us RAGE!!!, posted on August 2, 2020. While this isn't the first time that Max and Ross' characters have been given lore (the Overalls v. Jorts court case preceded this), this appears to be the first time that the running gag of "Ross Lore" was mentioned by name. Below are summaries of the notable pieces of Ross Lore mentioned:
Qbertâs bro, Burt is a sponge block given to Max and Ross at the beginning of the level. Partway through the video Ross locks himself in a shelter of wooden planks to get out of doing the parkour. He places Bert down and Max breaks him, leading to the creation of Sponge. Sponge is a Minecraft sponge block and Rossâ good buddy that he hasnât seen in weeks. He brought the blue punch that tasted green to Maxâs birthday.
Ross likes to use a dagger in combat.
Ross burnt down an orphanage to stop what he calls the moon people. Max claims that he burnt down the wrong orphanage, but Ross says that he did it first to prevent the moon people from doing it and caused them to leave as a result. According to Max the other orphanage was their target and the reason they left was because they accomplished their goal, thus making Rossâ arson pointless
Ross took a group of elderly people camping and returned with 4 more elderly folks at the end. They went into the woods as a group of 6 and came back as a group of 14.
Ross taught a group of kids how to swim in shark infested waters. He refuses to elaborate on it.
Ross invented toothpicks (patent and everything) and sued another guy who claimed to have invented toothpicks.
Ross invented being pregnant.
Ross was bullied on the playground by school kids.
Ross crashed a wedding and ended up marrying the father.
Rossâ left eye is glass.
Ross opened a refrigerator store for 2 months. During that time he only sold 1 fridge and went bankrupt, then faked his death in a freak refrigerator accident in Milwaukee. Ross is the moniker he took after faking his death, though he refuses to share his original name.
Ross took 7 people and a parrot to prom.
Ross dug a huge hole at the beach and buried 4 kids. They were attempting to build a tunnel system underneath a sandcastle and it caved in. Ross himself almost got buried but managed to dig his way out. Whether the kids died or not is never elaborated on.
Ross opened a motel for dogs after watching the movie Hotel.
Ross got caught in a ladder. As a result he still has 19 years of bad luck to go and a prosthetic foot.
At the age of 14, Ross had to get his 7th and 6th fingers removed on his right hand. Max remembers it as his left, and Ross reminds him that that was his foot.
Ross had to get the extra toes on his left foot removed, which he keeps in a jar.
Ross soul bonded to Van Gogh and tried to cut off his own ear, but the safety scissors didnât work. Max says that they did work and he passed out, though his ear was presumably sewn back on.
Ross sunk a ship in the parking lot, apparently in an attempt to test the boat. Ross said that it was hard to get it into the pavement. An unnamed âheâ got really mad at this.
Ross threw up at the movie theater and at a funeral. They donât talk about the funeral incident.
Growing up, Ross told his guidance counselor that he wanted to be an astronaut pirate and ended up becoming one somehow. The guidance counselor died at some point, and this funeral may be related to the other funeral incident.
Ross beat the sun in a staring contest. It is partially the reason why he has a glass eye
The other reason is the time he helped invent peanut butter.
Ross is the hero of Pennsylvania. He says to check the history books.
Ross named McDonalds. The founder originally wanted to go with âWacky Floppy Burger Bunsâ, but Ross told him to call it McDonalds.
Ross volunteered at the retirement home and beat some ladies at bingo.
There was another incident involving old ladies in which they were running an illegal knitting business and âProfessor Ross had to teach them a lessonâ. They apparently threw the first punch and threw knitting needles at him so Ross pulled out his katana and beat them up.
The censor duck that bleeps out curse words in Maxâs videos does it as a paid job and needs the money to turn the heating bill on. He also needs to pay back his bail to Ross in order to see his ducklings again.
Other non-Ross Lore notable things:
Max points out that bottom of Rossâ left foot on his Minecraft skin is discolored.
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