Helping your partner go 24/7
We’ve talked quite extensively about the benefits in having your partner wear diapers 24/7 (or as close as possible) for their mental health and your relationship.
But getting to 24/7 or having diapers as their default underwear isn’t super easy especially in the first few weeks. Many people reading this will have tried 24/7 and managed a week or two before it fell apart or watched their partner say they want to try 24/7, start and then silently let it slip away a week or so in.
This is where you as a partner to a diaper wearer can make a critical difference and ensure it’s a success in the long term.
But first some hard truths about 24/7:
- It would sometimes be a lot easier for them to not wear a diaper
- It add extra planning and inconveniences to trips out of the house
- Sometimes things can get smelly or embarrassing
- Throwing on underwear would be quicker when they’re in a rush
- They will sometimes not want to wear a diaper or feel shame/regrets about the whole 24/7 idea
So how can you help?
Internalize the idea that they NEED to wear diapers and this is a PERMANENT thing.
If you’re hoping this is just a phase and don’t really want them to succeed in going 24/7 it most likely won’t but your relationship will likely suffer as a consequence.
Also try reset your expectation of them to being that they wear diapers all the time and they need them to avoid accidents.
Provide consistent encouragement, especially in the first month
It’s extremely likely they will be feeling worried & anxious about how you are finding them being 24/7 and will be plagued by all the fears they’d had growing up about having these desires.
Being silently ok with it isn’t enough and they’ll probably just assume you’re hating it & them. So make sure to provide encouragement to them for wearing and using their diapers.
There are several areas of encouragement to provide:
1. Acknowledge their diapers as being normal. Tell them you’ve laid out a fresh diaper for them in the morning, ask if they’ve packed a diaper bag before leaving the house, ask if they need to order more diapers or if you should pick up more baby powder when shopping.
2. Provide praise for wearing diapers. Tell them that diaper looks cute on them and that you’re glad they’re now wearing all the time. Check they’re wearing a diaper when they get into bed or when you leave the house and say something like good boy/girl for wearing it. If you see a public restroom or have to go yourself mention that they’re lucky they’re wearing their toilet (this makes my baby blush)
3. Provide praise for them using their diapers. Talk about the state of their diaper in a positive way for example saying “I’m glad to see this diaper held all of your pee ok” or “remember you should just let go straight away now you’re in diapers”. Messy diapers will likely cause them the most anxiety so be extra aware in those situations and don’t just ignore it. If you detect a messy diaper acknowledge it with something like “Is that a messy diaper I can smell” or “I think someone might need a change” it can be slightly embarrassing but just saying something shows that you’re not surprised or annoyed they’ve messed. If you haven’t noticed a messy diaper in a day or two, ask them if they’ve need some help to use their diaper and tell them explicitly that you expect them to use it for everything. Administering a suppository to help force the issue can also be a great way to show you’re serious.
4. Assure them it is discreet. A fear when wearing diapers 24/7 is other people noticing as often they’ll be wearing in public more than before. Provide simple assurances that their diapers are discreet and that even you struggle to tell. Even an obvious diaper bulge to you would go unnoticed by the vast majority of people so a small white lie to give them confidence will help a lot even if you can just see the outline of it. Interestingly the more confident they are the less likely others will notice as they wont be touching their bum etc out of fear it might be noticeable.
5. Make it clear this is permanent Them wearing diapers 24/7 is now the new normal and you should make sure they know you’ve accepted and expect that. Talk about diapered plans far into the future, for example if you have a vacation coming up in a few months mention that you’ll need to make sure to order enough to last or discuss if shipping diapers to the hotel is the best option. Start discussions with confirmation of this reality, e.g. “Now that you’re going to be in diapers for the rest of your life… …maybe we should convert the guest room into a changing area” …lets look into laser hair removal for your groin” …we should order diapers in bulk” …I’m going to throw away your old underwear” Tell them things like “It’s funny to think you’ll never use the toilet in the house again” or “I’ve got used to the fact you’re now always going to be in a diaper”, or “I wonder how long it will be before you lose control at night and in the daytime” You’ll like notice a positive improvement so assure them you’re happy they’re now 24/7: “Things have been better now your always in diapers so I’m glad this is permanent” “I can’t imagine you without diapers now “ “I’m keeping you in diapers from now on, I hope you know that”
Be prepared to “force” them to wear
I can almost guarantee that one day you’ll see them putting on underwear instead of a diaper or realize they’re not diapered when they should be.
Do not be silent. Tell them in no uncertain terms that they need to be wearing a diaper and to get changed immediately, ideally take them and diaper them yourself.
Equally something might come up where they ask if they can not wear a diaper. Maybe you’re going out for the day or some other activity where diaper wearing will be more inconvenient. Push back heavily on this unless it was a pre-agreed exception and tell them no, they must be wearing a diaper.
The other high risk time is post orgasm especially in male partners. The low following this is prime for feelings of shame and regret, so even if they don’t say anything make sure to put them straight back into a diaper and provide positive encouragement about their diaper wearing.
Be prepared for challenges
While you’re both getting used to the new reality of 24/7 it’s very likely some things might go wrong.
Their diaper will probably leak at some point onto clothes or furniture, try laugh these off and learn from them.
Their messy diaper might cause you to react instinctively in a way they perceive as disgust and cause them to feel ashamed. Counter this quickly by apologising and assuring them you do want them to use their diaper for everything.
They might forget to bring a spare diaper with them on a day trip and need to change. Ideally you should approach a problem like this with the mindset that they need diapers so just changing out of it isn’t an option. Go into a drugstore with them and buy some more diapers to wear as a temporary measure, the embarrassment of this will likely help you both make sure a diaper bag is always with you.
Normalize diaper wearing in your house
Now they’re diapered 24/7 and the expectation is they need diapers and use them, it shouldn’t feel hidden or secret.
A dedicated changing area should be setup with lots of diapers and changing supplies on display. Invest in a diaper pail / genie to make disposal easier. Hang up their ABDL clothes in this room. Empty their underwear draw and replace with diapers.
A spare bedroom can often be converted for this purpose. Design it in a way so the room can be locked or items easily hidden if you have guests.
Buy a diaper bag and have it packed and ready to use for any trips out. This can be a real diaper bag but for more discretion a small backpack can be used, ideally buy one that’s more juvenile than a plain black one.
Add a mattress protector to your bed to protect against inevitable leaks.
Convert their wardrobe to suit their diapered status
Early on after making the switch hold a fashion show where they try on their clothes while wearing a thick or wet diaper. Anything that doesn’t hide their diaper well put to one side to go to goodwill.
Next go shopping while they’re thickly diapered to find new clothes which work well. General rules are darker & loose fitting bottoms hide diapers well and dresses and skirts are great for women. Overalls can be super cute and combined with onesies for discrete abdl wear. Longer tops can help hide the extra padding around their bum.
It also might be worth expanding your ABDL clothing for use at home so they have a full wardrobe of options to wear daily.
Get involved
The best way to show your support is to get as involved as possible in their diaper wearing.
Ideally try take control of their checks and changes when you’re around. If you’re uncomfortable with messy changes that’s ok (but honestly they can be the most intimate and positive events if you’re willing to try).
Pick out diapers for them to wear if say you’re not around to change them into a fresh diaper in the morning. Browse and buy new diapers for them. When shopping add diaper/baby supplies without comment such as powder, rash cream or more ABDL items like a kids no spill cup or a cute teddy.
(Side note of one of the things I did which made my partner incredibly happy was coming home from a normal grocery shop with a toddler plate and cutlery set and telling him I thought they would be cute for him. Later he told me this made him feel so accepted and loved 🥰)
Pack a diaper bag for day trips or help him pack enough diapers and supplies for a vacation. Try make this as matter of fact as possible, “Do you think these diapers will be the best for daytime”, “Have you packed your swim diaper”, etc.
Be involved in dressing them with a view to not hiding their diapered state at home. At night especially they should always be in ABDL attire which makes it obvious they’re diapered and in the daytime where possible too.
I do believe that most 24/7 diaper wearing should be combined with ABDL activities as well. At a minimum use ABDL diapers and clothing with pacifiers and bottles used where possible. But definitely experiment with things like crawling, bibs at meals, holding a bottle for them and feeding them. Baby talk can also be a lot of fun to tease them with.
Other related articles you should read:
The best how to guides for implementing diaper discipline into your relationship. ABDL / MDLB / DDLG. 18+ ONLY. NSFW. https://dd-guide.webfl
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