SHIT MY FRIENDS SAY
Some of the quotes from our shenanigans, carefully collected over the years. NSFW, cussing, and all that jazz. Feel free to change pronouns as you like!
“If you cross that bridge… you get to the other side.”
“Do you think your mum can make me some armour?”
“That French author whose name is like testicles, do you know him? What’s his name… Balzac?”
“I’m so stressed, I don’t even have the time to stink.”
“Chemistry isn’t just a class, chemistry is a lifestyle.”
“Can people fall past the Earth?”
“She only needs a banana to be happy.”
“Oh, the light here is nice, let’s take a selfie-aaaand I look like a Drag Queen.”
“Why didn’t you tell me I looked like this the entire day?”
“I don’t know how old I am, I stopped counting after the Second Crusade.”
“Generally, I’m just oxidising, thank you for asking.”
“I don’t leave the house. I sometimes open a window, that’s it.”
“Your mother says hello.”
“Ah, I love the smell of fire. It reminds me of my enemies burning.”
“You voted for me? How could you?”
“I’m not saying she’s wearing too much perfume, I’m just saying that if someone was to smoke a cigarette next to her, people would ask for the reasons behind her self-immolation.”
“The homoerotic subtext is what keeps this friendship alive.”
“My shoes got wet. Of course I was crying.”
“Fly, hat! Fly to your freedom!”
“Do you think I could use soy sauce as tanning lotion?”
“Nah, I’m not 18. I just look like shit.”
“Would your boyfriend be open to being called Philippe?”
“I don’t see his face, but I know exactly what it looks like right now.”
“Those asshole kids! We had to do the reading for our final exam ourselves instead of watching an Emmy-winning TV show!”
“Those macarons are… thicc.”
“My fortune cookie basically just told me to fuck off.”
“Those trees are in the military. They all have camouflage.”
“If I were a knight, I’d be Sir Fail-a-lot.”
