nazdom:
with every spoken word being poured into her ears, it only drives north further to the edge she’s tittering on the edge of. one more step backwards & there she goes, tumbling to the bottom of the imaginary river she’s built for herself, cobalt blood splattering everywhere until the police eventually arrive to the scene. in her head, it seems more ideal than the scenario she currently finds herself in: a charity for rich white politicians where her ear is being chatted off by someone whom she despises. (maybe it’s an overstatement to say despise; elisabet has done some good for world, specifically for the earth in making sure it doesn’t become a wasteland with a hot temperature besides its side. what has she done to make androids lives a tad easier, though? none of those things matter to androids because they were never built with those concepts in mind; climate change doesn’t matter to them, not receiving death threats do. it’s a question playing itself through north’s head with every glance she takes at the other woman, threatening to spill from the tip of her tongue. it almost makes her laugh in the other woman’s face because it is comical in a sense, but she refrains.) she does listen to everything the doctor says, however, even with her conscience telling her otherwise. if she were to listen to that, though, she would have already slipped out of the event & been back at her apartment, ordering a bottle of aged booze she couldn’t even drink. (it’s what humans do & what makes her feel more alive as if she finally fits in! can’t be that bad, right?)
❛ i appreciate the invitation to speak to you, but i rather not — especially not tonight. trust me, though, i’ve done my research over your work & what you believe you’re doing for the good of everyone. i have to admit, it is impressive. i give credit where it’s due & you do deserve some credit. however, i guess i don’t see where androids benefit from your actions. i’m still not too keen on the whole using robots or whatever you choose to call them ordeal, but i’ll allow that to slide for right now. however, you say you may not believe humans deserve to inherit the planet, but what you’re doing … doesn’t necessarily benefit us … does it? i mean, we were were built to sustain extensive injuries, to adjust our temperatures whenever necessary; the list is continuous but i won’t bore you with the tiny details. i’m sure you know of them anyways. ❜ the snarky expression clouding her features isn’t what she expects to overcome her, but it does. there’s no changing it now, feeling as it becomes a permanent fixture on her face.
it’s always felt like this. dumb girl, planet savior. heart-of-fucking-gold. so determined to keep everyone else alive she’ll die for them without a second thought. there’s burns on her fingers from when she burnt the tree down, there’s scars on her shoulders and neck from an explosion trying to get early nanobots to work. her lips purse, hands awkwardly by her sides. always on the outside. like she’s looking in on everyone, like they’re all in a play and everyone else has their lines but she doesn’t. like there’s something deep rooted inside of her and growing and growing. her mouth filled with something so soft and sweet - like honeysuckle. ❛ if you ever change your mind, let me know. ❜ it’s tender, too much so for someone so unfamiliar. intimacy on one part and something rotten in the other.
maybe it will always be like this. justification and reworking, always begging for understanding. that the inheritance of the earth belongs to roaming deer, the ocean to the great whales and the sky to the vast eagles. she’ll let her body rot amongst the moss and decay slowly in a pond, mildew covering her bones. her skin blooming like algae. humanity will be long gone, only those who came before and after surviving. hopefully soon. ❛ would you rather live in a barren wasteland? you're more than capable of surviving in a scorched earth where the ocean is filled with plastic and all life but you is dead and the ozone has been ripped to pieces but would you truly want to? somewhere ugly and rotten, void of anything but dust and sand? wouldn’t you rather live in a world with vibrant skies and green grass? with fresh water and animals running free? humanity might benefit from my actions but it’s not for them. it’s for the whales and the wolves, it’s for the polar bears i want to bring back from the dead. it’s for every species of dying bee and extinct animal. i understand your dislike and distrust of humans but what has an animal ever done to you? what has a bee ever done to harm you? nothing. you were built to feel. surely you take some joy in bird song, in watching sea lions bake in the sun? they deserve it. humanity might not be worth saving but they are. ❜
