what do u think the hiveswap trolls would post about on their hc blogs?
lemme preface by saying that i dont think every single one of them would have a headcanon blog specifically! so i will make headcanons about the things they say/post about humans!
edit: wow this turned into more of a “trolls using human social media” post lmao
ardata: she is intrigued by them and frequently shares selfies or photography depicting humans. she views them the way a scientist might view a new species. she doesn’t really have much other interest in them, other than to gawk at them. she has a huge following and her blog has indirectly lead to the acceptance of humans.
diemen: he thinks humans are so cute! they’re even softer and weaker than rustbloods, so you need to be protected, even if he probably wont be of much assistance. he mostly gets into arguments in the comment sections over the mistreatment of humans.
cirava: advocates for the acceptance of humans and has a large following. they reblog a lot of human positivity posts and even more anti xenophobia posts. they’re very interested in human music and like to meet other producers and reblog each other’s work!
amisia: she loves humans! or at least, she loves their blood color, so she frequently shares gore related art and photography. she also follows a ton of headcanon blogs because she thinks human biology is interesting!
bronya: has a very wholesome headcanon blog and never allows others to shame or belittle humans! her blog is strictly sfw and she only shares positive posts about the humans.
skylla: she makes headcanons about the earth animals! she wonders how they differ from alternian animals and is quite shocked to find that their animals aren’t spliced like many alternian beasts are.
tagora: he likes to make headcanons about human biology, hygiene, and cleaning habits. he has a relatively big following and many of his followers share ideas about what human bathrooms look like or how sensitive their skin might be.
vikare: he doesn’t really get involved with all of it. not because he chooses to, just because its not really his thing. i dont think he knows what a human is, but aliens are aliens and he thinks those are cool, so that’s good.
polypa: she makes headcanons for human anime! she and tegiri binge watch a ton of them and she makes headcanon blogs for the anime she likes. she mostly thinks its corny (maybe even more corny than alternian anime), but some of them are really good and she really likes Akira and BNHA.
zebruh: he’s apart of the “pro human” brigade going on and he says dumb things like “i was friends with a human before they were cool” or “i have a human friend i know what im talking about” that sort of thing. he tactfully acknowledges all the praise he receives while ignoring or deleting any comments that criticize him.
elwurd: honestly, she’s just in it for the cute new species. she shares a lot of human girl selfies and is a huge feminist! she quickly learns about gender inequality on earth and sides with feminism all the way. her blog doesn’t have too many feminism posts, but she’s known to defend it when it comes down to it.
folykl: she has a human meme blog. she though she was a meme lord on alternia, but then she gets introduced to human memes via kuprum and she has to have them. she wont admit it, but she thinks humans are pretty funny! she even finds a few comedians to laugh at with kurprum!
kuprum: hentai for sure. he’s been deleted and banned and reported so many times, but he always manages to recover every single blog every single time. he also makes a whole lot of nsfw headcanons about humans and even goes out of his way to get his little gremlin hands on some human p*rnography and distrubut the videos to some very confidential and discrete buyers.
remele: she loves the classics! her favorite pieces include aphrodite, thinker, and starry night. she doesn’t plagiarize any famous paintings of course, but she will steal art or concepts from tumblr. earth tears her to pieces because of it, but her own following always backs her up. little shit.
konyyl: she’s too busy. she might check warriormale sometimes but she doesn’t really care about it as a whole.
chixie: she makes all kinds of headcanons, similarly to the ones i make. she also includes pro human and other social issues on her blog (also similar to this blog lmao). she does spicy headcanons, but she never goes into much detail about them. it makes her uncomfortable.
tyzias: she cant be bothered to dig around in human conspiracy theories like a lot of people assume. she’s already too busy exposing the shittiness on her own planet. she likes to take it easy and just look at memes or animal videos.
chahut: she makes headcanons about human relationships/quadrants/etc. she’s very curious about the way humans date, our various relationships, and even the way we reproduce. she’s especially pleased if some humans take interest in quadrants and will be happy to elaborate, but she doesn’t like to discuss her religion with humans.
azdaja: he likes to read headcanons and reblog some of them, but he doesn’t make a blog or anything. he’s also not aware of the issues going on on earth, so he doesn’t reblog much of that either.
zebede: oh he’s all over it. social justice, memes, animal videos, headcanons, the whole 9 yards. he’s got a good following and he interacts them a ton! he even likes to check out apps like facebook and discord.
tegiri: he owns headcanon blogs and frequently reblogs ideas and stuff from polypa. he likes to livestream his reactions. he makes nsfw headcanons too, but he feel flustered and pretends like he isn’t.
mallek: honestly? he’s interested in the food. he likes to make headcanons about human eating habits and how their tastebuds vary. he’s made it his personal mission to taste food from all over earth and he’s that person who posts pictures of their meals before eating it. a lot of his followers are disgusted or weirded out by the way human food looks (and so is he sometimes) but he’s willing to try all of it once.
lynera: she also makes relationship headcanons. she gets VERY immersed in human relationships and has to know absolutely everything about them. she gets so excited when humans approach her or talk to her.
galekh: he’s just hear to read what everyone else has to say. he would feel so silly trying to make up headcanons like those and he wonders how everyone else does it. its a good learning experience and he truly values it, but if he’s genuinely curious about something, he’ll ask one of his human friends to get real answers, and might even start up a little trouble discrediting any incorrect assumptions.
tirona: she believes that partaking of the whole “pro human” and “headcanons” thing is in direct violation of the tyranny and wont be apart of it. she believes that indulging in stuff like this only perpetuates any imperial ideals and she might even go out of her way to report some of the blogs.
boldir: no headcanons, but she reblogs a lot of conspiracy theories and political stuff. if other planets have conspiracies then maybe it wont be so unbelievable that alternia has them too.
stelsa: she doesn’t even have human social media. she doesn’t like the fact that tyzias has it in the first place, and she would never join anything herself. smells like trouble.
karako: he. loves. youtube. he watches all kinds of videos! just give him a laptop and he’ll sit and watch any video that comes onto the screen, whether it be music, beauty gurus, skits, or top 10 videos. he’s all over them and he leaves comments on all the videos he watches. he gets very happy when humans reply to or like his comments!
marsti: she’s just here for the app store.
charun: they dont get involved with headcanons, but they have been added to a discord server with a bunch of other random humans and trolls (and even a few other species) where they all just talk about whatever they want to really. charun showcases their art sometimes and compliments everyone else’s art, some people talk about videogames, others post pictures of the pets. just a big ol mess of different species bonding and being friends.
wanshi: she’s so delighted to find that other people reads the soldier purrbeasts chronicles??? she’s all over the fandom and quickly befriends other humans in the fandom who manage to get her into the art aspect of it.
fozzer: he’s very wary about humans and doesn’t trust their technology, so he doesn’t download any apps or interact with any humans on any platforms. its sketchy. why do you want to talk to him anyways? why so many of you all at once? weird.
marvus: oh fuck is he all over human culture. he’s heard of humans, but he’s never gone out of his way to look at anything. he’s particularly interested in the music, but also the food. he loves damn near everything he samples and he frequently imports human food and drinks to sample. he really loves the alcohol too and quickly finds that he has a very low tolerance for it. all trolls do.
daraya: she doesn’t care for headcanons or headcanon blogs. she thinks its kinda invasive to make those kinds of assumptions or ideas about trolls, especially when it comes to biology. if she wants to know something, she will ask a human friends in private and she’s made quite a few of those, surprisingly. they talk over discord! she’s in the same server that charun is in!
nihkee: she’s just here for warriormale and wwe.
lanque: he’s interested in the fashion and also the party culture. he gets involved with human substances and might even sneak off to a few parties to hang out with some human friends who understand his choices about living life and stuff. he’s gotten very acquainted with weed and buys some every couple of days whenever he runs out. its even lead to he and cirava becoming friends and sharing a few blunts when they see each other. some even suspect the two to be in a quadrant!
barzum and baizli: what’s a human?
xefros: he likes to use reddit to collect political memes and send them to dammek. its comforting to know that other planets are having similar issues and he quickly befriends a couple humans who support his cause!
dammek: super suspicious of all human activity. wont touch their food, their music, their weird apps or websites, none of it. what do you want from him anyways?
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