DON'T CALL US DUMB!

Sometimes a family is a little bear girl, her soup-ervillian big bro, her sheep psychologist bf, her real ass goddamn cop aunt and her garbage cowgirl wife, her rat-human uncle, and her tiny, angry, broken big sis and her giant himbo boyfriend Epithet Erased headcanons, reblogs, drawings and shitposts Gio//molly shippers DNI!!

[mollysfoundfamily]

You're not speyerboot you faker!

ohh jezz sorry I wasn't really paying much attention to the tags when I put them in I didn't mean to steal from them at all I promise really sorry guys

[mollysfoundfamily]

What would a mff girls night out (excluding molly) would be like?

Mera, surprisingly would be the one to plan it. She's been wanting to have a nice relaxing grown up night out with some girlfriends for like... YEARS NOW.

Unfortunately, the only grown up girls are Percy and Zora are they are both physically incapable of relaxing.

The Mera planed for them to start at a super nice spa that specializes in treatments for chronic pain she's been wanting to try out. At first things seemed to be going better then she expected probably because she made them leave their weapons at home.

Zora got reeeaaaalllly into the mud bath. "She is the mud lord guardian of the Mud!" It took 3 staff members to drag her out. Plus that thing were they hit you with tree branches felt pretty familiar for some reason too

It's when they got to the froo froo hair and make up stuff that Zora started to have an issue. There was no way they were gonna get her to do all the flowery frilly makeup and soap stuff! She hissed at the staff and climbed over the cabinets like a rabid raccoon to avoid them. She ended up knocking everything over and falling into a lilac and rose filled bathtub. Hygiene -1 Zora-0

Percy had been pretty well behaved herself until it came time for the massage. Percy's muscles were so tense it was like trying to knead concrete! The woman got so frustrated that she she started punching Percy in the back but she still couldn't feel a thing. Until eventually ended up actually braking one of her hand.

The trio were on thin ice at this point but they let them stay for one last thing Mera had been looking forward to all night.

Unfortunately that thing was... Acupuncture. Which Percy and Zora with their intense survival instincts were not ready for. But still tried to go along with it for Mera's stake. But freaked out at the last minute Percy started a tiny needle fencing match with her attendant. While Zora used her's projectiles and stuck her's to the wall.

They were in separate rooms so Mera saw none of this... but she started having to have a few issues of her own. Unfortunately Mera didn't mention how strong her epithet was and the effect of acupuncture's energy redirection on an inscribed with her kind of power are a bit more... Volatile. One wrong nerve and every piece of glass in the building exploded.

The girls were thrown out immediately.

Zora: See, I told you all this frilly stuff was nothin but trouble!

Percy: Zora is correct it could have been much worse had we not escaped the... needling

Mera: *sigh* Next time I'm bringing Gio and Ramsey

[mollysfoundfamily]

For the Bonzai blasters, who would be a bottom and who would be a top

ALL.

ARE.

BOTTOMS.

EVEN IF THEY THINK THEY'RE A TOP ,THEY AREN'T

IT IS AN ENTIRE CRIMINAL AGENCY OF BOTTOMS.

[mollysfoundfamily]

Could we see Zora at her youngest??

Can she can go back this far- Yes

Will she do it- No because while it would be useful for hiding, she use a gun like that!

[mollysfoundfamily]

Ya know, I just got a hilarious idea! Sorry if it would make you uncomfortable, and if that’s the case then keep scrolling but…

What would happen when Molly asks about the birds and the bees? Aka, the classic “Where do babies come from?” Question. I know that Molly is a really smart kid, and she probably already knows the answer, but she’s also a pure, sweet, innocent little bean, so she could still be oblivious to it. That being said, a lot of parents tackle the explanation differently, so what would each of their reactions be and how would they explain it to her?

Molly would probably already know about the birds and the bees being the smart little cookie she is this might come about by the others assuming she doesn't know and her making multiple attempts to tell them otherwise, but always getting cut off until she just goes along with it.

Ramsey starts laughing his butt off as soon as the subject comes up and yells good luck to them before jumping out the window.

Indus just blurts out- "oh well lady mera can answer that! She's an expert, despite what she may say about never having a "Crock Goblin" we have actually-

Mera slaps a hand over his mouth and it takes all her will power to stop herself from breaking Indus's teeth right there. She is absolutely bright red as she drags him away.

Percy while not exactly 100% comfortable talking about the subject would still go way over the top explaining it with kid friendly diagrams, powerpoints, and even puppets named Barry Banana and Fiona Flower. It gets real awkward real fast and actually makes Molly more confused despite already knowing how it works.

After escaping that disaster she eventually ending up with Zora who's explanation is the exact opposite of Percy's. She is wwaayyyy to blunt not bothering with any kind of metaphors or puppets and doesn't skimp on ANY of the details. But despite the very graphic and adult nature of her lecture she still ends it with the same

"but don't do it or you'll explode", threat her parents gave her at the age.

Giovanni is probably the most comfortable talking to her about the subject and is actually the only one who knew she already knew. He's actually answered other questions she's had about protection, sexuality, and anything else she was curious about. He just kinda sits her down someplace comfy and explains it to her like the older sibling he is.

It's at the point Sylvie very embarrassingly asks her explain where babies come from it to him.

[mollysfoundfamily]

*Percy and Zora just vibing being wives*

Tour guide: And to your left we have the zorcy couple in action notice how the cowboy wife love her police wife

Percy: it's been a week since they followed us, I'm gonna have to stop them

Zora: I got this babe.

*Zora brandishes her guns and shooting at the group* Percy: Zora No! Zora: ZORA YES!

*Insert people panicking and running away.*

Tour Guide: It's okay folks I've been trained for this!

*cocks a tranquilizer*

Zora: Ohh yahh I'd like to see-

*gets shot in the forehead and passes right out*

Zora: You think that's enough to-

*shoots her 17 more times until she passes out*

Tour Guide: As you can see cowboy wife gets a bit overly aggressive during mating season.

[mollysfoundfamily]

used @speyerboot 's EE OC generator to recreate some OCs from middle school

Sorry I've been gone for a while life as been pretty busy and I decided to take a brake from the fandom for a little bit

[mollysfoundfamily]

I know giovanni's a but of a whimp but could you imagine him going apeshit with his soul slugger doom bat fighting those who hurt his family and friends. blood on his clothes, a mad volent glint in his eyes, him almost giving the final killing blow before crusher, spike and molly hold him back crying that they're okay.

They could all feel the heavy heaving of Giovanni’s chest as he haggardly panted. The thump of blood boiling under his skin as it surged though his veins like a an underground volcano. Crusher had wrapped his thick arms around his waist pressing his normal stoic face I or his back as tears streamed form his eyes. His muscles straining as Giovanni struggled to rip his body free from the constrictive grip like a trapped animal. Spike wrapped her entire spindly body around his left arm and shoulder. Holding it down so he couldn’t keep swinging his bat already dripping with blood! “STOP STOP PLEASE STOP!!“ She screamed though her messy tears. Trying to penetrate the over whelming sound of his wrathful screams and animalistic growls and make it through to his human conscious. Molly had thrown All her weight into his right leg holding it down. She had preformed a similar playful gesture a million times on him before. But now they where doing anything but playing. Tears rolled down her face as she stared wide eyed in horror and concern. They could smell the metallic sent of the blood that caked his uniform, mixed with the tangy tomato soup steam that rose off him And clouded the air. All off them voiding looking at the person who it beyond to as he lay switching and broken at his feet.

“FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU YOU PIECE SHIT!!! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM DON’T YOU FUCKING-!!!”

“GIOVANNI!!” Molly screamed louder then she had in a long long time.

Giovanni suddenly whipped his head in her direction. His pupils had shrunk to pinpricks and had taken on an other worldly glow of rage like coals of brimstone. His mouth contorted into grimace that bore his sharp canines reminding everyone what they were for. His dark under eye bags seemed growing darker and deeper. His entire face wrinkled with rage and his once fluffy looking hair turned flat and course from the blood caking it.

Molly jerked back a small gasp escaping her lips. Before gently pressing her head back into his leg.

“please…”

Gio’s panting slowed. His eyes slowly panned over to the man at his feet. His bat slipped from him hand and clattered to the ground in a red puddle. His entire body went limp in crusher’s arms. They were the only thing stopping him from crumpling to his hands and knees as his rage melted from his body. He cried out in heavy heaving sobs as tears exploded from his eyes.

“It’s okay boss we’re okay everything will be okay” Crusher whispered into his ear as they all held him tight and cried in unison.

[mollysfoundfamily]

You don't have to follow me, I'm just a simple tumblr user who reblogs cute art, I'm not even half as talent as you are 😅

Dawww thanks @aprilbrowines but don’t sell yourself short you send such cute asks and have such great ideas I wanna fallow you!

[mollysfoundfamily]

is giovanni a top?

He thinks he is…. but we all know the truth

[mollysfoundfamily]

Giovanni has pretty boy slut vibe

He has not quite reached full pretty boy slut status yet

he is currently a too much shy bean + chaotic dumbass at the moment but one day he will reach full fledged pretty boy slut…. most likely with Crusher‘s help

[mollysfoundfamily]

Molly got her wisdom teeth taken out and Sylvie takes care of them in their loopy state. Getting word of the situation, giovanni and trixie decide to come over to record this once in a lifetime experience.

Sylvie: Molly, could you please stop touching my face?

Molly: *loopy giggling* but you have such smushy soft cheeks *proceeds to keep smushing his cheeks* smushhhyyyyyyy faceeeeee smushyyy he he he he! Sylvie: Molly I need to focus on driving the- ARE YOU TWO FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!

Trixie: A rare moment of uhhhh- the brain’s psychological reaction to uhhh sleepy chemicals has to be documented for yah know science!

Gio: Yah I’d think a brain nerd like you would appreciate that!

Sylvie: You at least could have helped me get her into the car or I don’t know driven-AHHH! Molly! hair!!

Molly: but it’s sooooo soft like a little new born baby lamb hehehe! I wanna braid!

Sylvie: *blushes* w-when we get home okay right now I need to-

Trixie: DUCKS!!!

Everyone but Molly: AHHHHHH-!!

Molly: Dawww! Duckies!!

She ended up braiding all their hair in the waiting room of the animal hospital with the baby ducks while the mom got what the doctor referred to as an “emergency bill transplant”

[mollysfoundfamily]

I'm pretty sure you mentioned that Martin once gave Molly pumpkin spice booze before hand and the crew didn't know this fact...soooo what would be their reaction when they finally find out?

Most of them honestly aren’t that surprised he would pull something like that but they all still start ranting and moaning about how stupid he is together and asking Molly if she was okay and if she had any bad reactions afterward. She thankfully didn’t since it was just a tiny sip

But Gio would probably still freak out super bad and immediately start trying to take Molly’s vitals, smothering her in a blanket and feeding her a greasy cheese and bacon soup concoction to try and absorb the alcohol from a year ago and trying to get Sylive to administer some kind of psych test to see if she had permanent brain damage!! Molly’s not sure if she should be offended by that or not…

Percy would get up, walk out of the house, walk through The woods until she made it to the city, go to their house kick the door in, walk into their living room pin Martian to a wall a foot off the ground with one one hand

and give him a very long and stern lecture about the dangers of underage drinking and his responsibility as not an adult but he former guardian to protect her from such dangers

[mollysfoundfamily]

Gold molly so cute!

Dawwwww she thanks you very much! Her stars are gold now in her regular form too!

Turning gold is pretty much what happens when she gets overwhelmed now instead of her silence bubble popping up.… only problem is she hasn’t quite figure out how to move as gold yet

She can wobble a little but that usually just leads to her tripping over

[mollysfoundfamily]

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY TO EE!!!🎉🎉🎉

though we might do something with a fun random epithet switch Headcanon we had! Everyone’a epithets where swapped at random by the Amulet

[mollysfoundfamily]

If Martin died, what would molly feel about it? Like yeah yeah Martin's Satan and all that stuff but like would it be complicated or would be like a full on party dancing on his grave kinda deal? I'm quite curious

Even after all he put Molly through I don’t think she could every really hate him. She dosen’t want anything to do with him again and hasn’t exactly forgiven him either. But full on Hating him is just too much of a energy waist for her. If she found out he kicked the bucket (most likely a week after she moved out because that many cannot keep himself alive for that long) the idea that she doesn't have any biological parents left would probably hit her harder then him being gone. She’s attend the service with Percy out of what little respect she had left for him. But she Definitely wouldn’t cry over him. She’d probably just feel mildly melancholic for a while.

the others on the other hand are a very different story…. Everyone can add grave vandalism to their criminal records now.

[mollysfoundfamily]

I just want to say, this blog was my first exposure to Tumblr as a youngster. I was looking up Epithet Erased content and this blog brought me such joy :). Hope your doing well :)

Oh my goshhhhh dude ask blogs like this were totally how I got into tumblr too!! Glad I could help you do the same I never thought we’d get this much attention back when we started this blog in all those many many 2 years ago.I’m really happy we could make you happy!! We’re doing a-okay over here just busy with school work. Glad we could drag you down into the EE sink hole with us!