MomentOfCat

[momentofcat]

New Proverb

Show a cat the Hot Water Bottle and it won’t move for the rest of the night.

[momentofcat]

A Song of the Season

Silver cans, silver cans, It's breakfast time for the kitties! Pull the ring, hear them sing, I've been a starvin' all day!

[momentofcat]

Morning Agenda

1. Wake human. 2. Escort human to kitchen so they don't get sidetracked. 3. Eat food. 4. Tell human they forgot to put out food. 5. Use litterbox. 6. Tell other human that human 1 forgot to put out food. 7. RAMPAAAAAAAGE! 9. Nap. 10. Inform humans that food bowls are empty. * Repeat items 5-10 as needed for the rest of the day.

[momentofcat]

Fighter Escort

Watching a WW2 documentary I realized that when I’m outside my cats circle around me like fighter planes around the bomber they’re protecting. I guess that means that the squirrels and grackles are the Luftwaffe in this scenario.

[momentofcat]

11:30pm

Small Child in Bed: Moooooooooooooommmmmmiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!

Me: What is it?

SCiB: There are noises under my bed. SOMETHING is down there!

Me: Did you look?

SCiB: *Looks at me like I’ve grown 2 heads.* No!

A loud scrabbling noise erupts from under the bed. Child hides under the covers. I grab the flashlight off its nightlight stand and look under the bed. The new half-grown kitten is on its back and “running” laps by clawing his way along the cloth bottom of the box-spring.

Me: Looks like you’ve got a monster under here.

I grab the cat on its next circuit and hold it aloft for inspection. Cat breathes heavily.

SCiB: *Addressing the cat.* You are SUCH troll!

[momentofcat]

Moment of Frog

Scene: Me, peacefully reading a book, the cat-door clatters in the background.

Cat: *With mouth full, now on the arm of the couch.* Loo’ wha’ I got! Me: *Lowering book.*  Wha....

Tree Frog: *Lands on my face.*  Heeeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeee! Cat: Give that back!  It’s MINE! I was just showing you! Give it back!

Tree Frog: *Pees.* Fortunately, it’s in my hand.  Unfortunately, it’s over my book.

[momentofcat]

Purrsonal Trainer Pt. 1

Me, on the floor doing my crunches: 15...16...17... Cat: Oh look! A place to sit! *Hops up onto my stomach.* Me: Go....22...Away...23...Cat!...24... Cat: OK! *Balances precariously on my bare knees, turns around and stares.* Cat: You need to relax your shoulder muscles a bit and focus more on those abs, you know.

[momentofcat]

Waking up from a nap...

Me: Aw! One of my kitties is snuggled up to my back. *sits up* Random Grey Cat I’ve Never Seen Before: Hey, when’s dinner? Me: Who are you? Grey: What do you mean? I TOTALLY live here! Always have! When’s dinner?

[momentofcat]

This Morning

*alarm clock goes off - I hit the button*

Me: Time to get up and start my day! Cat: I don’t think so. *sits on my chest, purrs* Me: No, I need to get up! Cat: Don’t be silly. You’ve got an hour. Me: But... Cat: *purring intensifies*  Shhhhhh.... Sleep. Now. *places claws on my neck*

Aaaaand, that’s why I was late for work this morning.