To Her Daughter

A preservation and exhibition of notes -- written, said, recorded -- from my mother.

[mommisms]

"Don't ever think because you're a certain age that certain things won't happen to you. You never know where you'll end up, you pick your battles."

The Mother of all Mommisms

[mommisms]

You Know the Answer Before the Question

When you were in the 3rd grade, one night you had some homework and you said, "I can't do this, I just don't understand." When I asked you to explain I could tell you were...well, bullshitting. You just didn't want to do it. 

I said, "Okay, well, we're going to do this together."

It was after dinner and getting late. 

"But it'll be past my bedtime."

"That's okay." 

"But then I'll be tired and can't go to school tomorrow." 

"Nope, you're still going to go to school." 

"But then you'll be tired and can't go to work. You'll be more tired than me because you're older than me." 

"Nope, little girl, you will always wear out before I do." 

I realize 30 years later that I've been having this conversation with you all your life. You want to test the waters, to see what your actual limitations are. Fortunately, I loved that and tried to foster it where you'd always do your work but you'd always question everything. That way you'd learn on your own that you had no limitations. 

----

I remember that night. It was a book report. She's right, I wasn't confused at all, I just didn't feel like doing it. 

[mommisms]

You're Just Jealous

...because you don't have a Rainbow Brite doll. 

...because you don't have My Little Pony. 

...because you don't have a Glo-Worm when you go to sleep. 

...because you don't have pink barrettes in your hair. 

These are the things I'd declare to my mother when on time out. 

[mommisms]

My Daughter Says

Having an adult child gives you the right to say the following: to online scammers: "well, my daughter says not to give you my information."  to telemarketers: "well, my daughter says not to talk to you anymore."  to peddlers on the street: "well, my daughter says you're a scam, bye."  to all of the above: "my daughter told me to get all the information of people like you." 

apparently, this shuts down any and all potential scammers. 

[mommisms]

A Pep Talk and Incontinence of Morality

Minute 3.17 is pretty hysterical.

[mommisms]

On Abuse, Torment and Thriving