what makes you so qualified? - ian (nsfw)
Prompt: hi ok i know this isn’t very specific but i NEED something angsty with ian so if you could make that happen that’d be pretty good :-) pls & thanks
Ian does a Content Cop on the reader’s YouTube channel. Then there is hate sex. That’s it. Enjoy the nut. Warning for mention of hate comments, and vulgar language.
Being invited to Vid-Con had been a dream come true. Just one year ago you’d started up your channel, and it had blown up within a few months. The first videos were extremely simple, just you sitting in front of a camera and ranting about goofy little things like books you were assigned in class, or the issues with the buses in your city, or things that went wrong at work. You knew they were little things, but the point of your channel was to seemingly get worked up over very little things for comedic effect. You’d found a niche and had amassed a just over a million subscribers and had even collabed with other YouTubers in your area. Of course, there were plenty of people outside of your fan sphere that found your videos pointless, no one bigger than yourself had much to really say about you other than that your name was (y/n) and you ran a channel of comedic rants on useless topics…that was until one morning two weeks ago when you woke up to more twitter notifications than you’d ever had in your life telling you to look at the iDubbbzTV channel’s latest video. You knew it wasn’t going to be good as someone who was a casual fan of Ian Carter’s work, so you were reluctant to look. You were right to have been. There at the top of his page was a 20-minute Content Cop on your channel, and it always had 4 million views.
You watched the whole thing, there was no point in wondering what the video contained. He really dug in, talking at length about the topics to chose to rant about weren’t very interesting, that your videos were always over ten minutes, that your use of jumpcuts was obnoxious, and that you were a serial offender when it came to using clickbaity thumbnails. He ended the video by dressing up as you and mocking the way you spoke and how you used your hands to speak. Your followers had been sending apologies and compliments, and it was nice but you weren’t saddened, you were angry. You’d thought Ian had an eye for when something was meant to be comedy, and you were hardly the worst when it came to extending videos or using obvious thumbnails.
Leading up to Vid-Con, you had taken a hit in subscribers for sure, but managed to rebound back to just over a million the day before. You’d been ridiculed endlessly by Ian’s fanbase and you weren’t oblivious to the injustice. Usually when Ian went after a single person, they fucked up big time. You hadn’t even had any scandals, hadn’t done anything but made content he didn’t think was up to his standards. Keemstar, Leafy, Tana, they’d all done something else to deserve it, and you couldn’t figure out why Ian had chosen you to fuck with when there were so many other channels run by scandal prone people. Now that you were here however, you didn’t want to dwell on it. You were in a group with a few of your YouTube friends and were being approached pretty consistently by subscribers that wanted photos and signatures. It was fantastic to meet them all, and only a few brought up the Content Cop episode.
You were signing the right sneaker of a girl who was probably a year younger than you were when she asked you if it made you uncomfortable that iDubbbz and his buddies were hanging out around the door. You looked up quickly and the girl was right. Ian Carter was sitting on a couch next to his friends Max, Chad and George. You’d never had any problems with Max, Chad or George, you’d never even met them in person, but they weren’t even paying you any attention. Ian however, was looking right at you for just a moment before he averted his gaze.
Couldn’t he at least let you enjoy VidCon without butting into your business? He’d already fucked up the last few weeks enough with his stupid video and now he had the audacity to come in and stare at you. He was probably just trying to see how many people would pick on you about the video. You moved to get up as soon as the girl walked off, and even as one of your friends pulled on your arm to get you to sit back down you didn’t even flinch. You walked straight up to Ian and his group of friends. Ian was watching you again and this time you didn’t even care. It felt like everyone was staring at you as you stopped right in front of Ian, standing over him.
He had a baseball cap on, and his hair was long enough that it curled just a little where it peaked out of his hat. He was in that same sweatshirt and sweatpants style outfit he was always in and his stupid glasses were off kilter. This was the man that had taken shots at you? He looked even less threatening in person, especially as he sat on the couch and just looked up at you, his mouth shut for once. You grabbed his wrist and jerked it forward, and his eyes widen as his glasses slip just a little. “I need to talk to you,” you say quietly, but with just as much malice as you feel. You can’t help it. You’re usually cool headed but Ian just strikes a nerve in you.
Max looks like he’s about to say something, but George hits him to shut him up. Ian looks over at his friends, then back at you and gets up. He’s really tall standing up, but it doesn’t make you lose your nerve. He may be bigger but he’s just a bully, and you’ve stood up to plenty of bullies in your time. You pull him a few feet towards the door and he follows he out of the room. You end up leading him down an empty hallway and outside of the door of the maintenance closet that holds supplies for one of the used rooms. Hesitantly, you open the door and guide him inside before closing the door behind you.
“Why the hell are we in here? If you wanted to bitch at me about my Content Cop, you could have done it where we were,” Ian says snidely, leaning against the wall. There’s not a lot of light in the closet, but you can make him out clearly enough. He’s fucking smirking.
“And give you the satisfaction of watching everyone in that room laugh at me? That was not going to happen Ian. I’m already being called some nasty shit Ian! I can’t open my comment box without seeing thousands of comments that say “kill yourself” or “delete your channel cunt” or “I hope you lose all your subs and die of cancer”. Ian’s face softened a little
“I never told anyone to do that. You seem like a nice enough person, so I didn’t even touch your character. I just went after your content,” he said, lowering his voice a little.
“What makes you so qualified to tell me my content is garbage Ian Carter? I haven’t done shit to you. I’ve never even talked about you in a video, or about any YouTubers that aren’t my friends for that matter. Why would you even pick to do it on me over every other channel just like mine?” Ian was looking at you intently, but he seemed to be looking at your lips rather than your eyes.
“I just noticed your videos the most,” he admitted. Your eyes drifted downwards and you were suddenly very aware that he was at least half hard in his grey sweats, and they didn’t do much to hide it. He cleared his throat and shifted a little, trying to casually but his hands in his pockets to conceal it.
“Christ Ian, are you serious? I’m trying to have a conversation with you about your stupid video and you’re fucking getting off on it?” You could almost see his face go red, even in the low lighting of the closet.
“What do you want me to do about it cunt? I can think your content is awful and still be attracted to you! Am I supposed to just will my cock to go down? Anatomy 101 says it doesn’t work like that! If you want to get rid of it than do something about it!” He said it in anger but as soon as it left his mouth he seemed to wish he could take it back. You’re going to hit him, you really are, but your hand ends up in his hair instead and suddenly your yanking his head down so you can kiss him.
He kisses you back, almost biting your lip in eagerness and it gives you a smug satisfaction to know that the great iDubbbz could be brought down with one little kiss. You’ve got him against the wall and he’s trying to flip you around so he can pin you but you won’t give into him. He already got his turn to control a situation. It was your turn. He’s nearly a foot taller than you, and you’re on your toes to reach him, but his hands on your waist are almost pulling you up to meet him. You bring your lips down to roughly kiss at the pale expanse of skin over his neck and you can feel how obviously hard he is despite it seemingly like it was trying to angle his hips to hide it. “What, haven’t gotten laid in a while Ian?” You mock, reaching down to rub him through the fabric of his sweatpants.
He’s been trying to be quiet, but you hear his breath hitch in his throat as he slides his hands down your back and hooks his long fingers around the waistband of your leggings and pulls them down to your knees to get them out of the way before he reaches a finger down to rub at your clit through your panties while he brings his lips back to yours. “Don’t pretend like you don’t want this too,” he grunts.
As much as you want this, you can’t help but want to make Ian pay for fucking with your channel. He’s trying to get his pants down but you aren’t having it, choosing instead to rub him through his sweats until there’s a visible wet spot on the front of his pants that there’s no way he’ll be able to hide. Finally, you start to pull down his sweats, but he’s eager enough that he almost beats you too it. You smirk at the large stain of precum spreading across the front of his boxers, but he’s already pulling your shirt off, and then you’re helping him rip off his sweatshirt. You hear the fabric tear as you pull on it. “I liked that hoodie you…you…” he can’t even finish the insult before you’re kissing him roughly yet again.
“I fucking hate you Ian,” you growl in his ear as he pushes you against the wall and strips his boxers from his legs. He presses his body entirely against yours as he roughly nips at your kiss swollen lips. He gets on his knees to pull down your underwear and kisses your slit before pulling you down on the ground with him. There’s hardly any space, and his back and shoulders are pressed against the wall as you crawl over him and slide yourself down onto his length. You think you see his eyes roll back just a little before he blinks at you.
“God you’re tight, haven’t found anyone willing to settle for a while huh?” You grind slowly against him, adjusting to his length and how good he feels inside you. That shuts him up pretty quickly. You’re riding him, you have all the power and he’s just lying there but for some reason he’s still sweating.
“Says the man so eager to get his dick wet he pops one the second he’s alone with a girl,” you shoot back. You anchor your hands against his chest to give you some leverage to move. He seems mesmerized by your chest for a moment but he must have been listening because his eyes fly to yours. “Do you want me to get up and leave right now Ian? I could. I could leave you here aching because you didn’t get to finish.” He groans and sits up, twisting you around so he’s on top of you. He snaps his hips against yours sucks at your pulse point until he knows he’s going to leave an ugly mark.
“No, I don’t want you to leave,” he says, as he finds a rhythm that makes you shake. “I worked so hard to get your attention and I intend to keep it.” You don’t even think he realized what he just admitted to as he grabs your right leg and hooks it around his hip so he can go deeper. He’s hitting your g-spot on every thrust and your nails are digging into his back, partially because it feels good and partially just to leave the marks there. He’s using his left hand to rub the pads of his fingers over your clit and you have to cover your mouth with your forearm as you come to shut yourself up.
Ian’s hips stutter for a few seconds and his quickly pulls out and spills onto your stomach. You had been planning on mocking his orgasm face, but the way his lips part and his eyes squeeze shut is actually really endearing. He grabs for his boxers, the only choice he really has, and wipes you clean with them before tossing them aside and collapsing right next to you.
You start to sit up and look for your clothes and he actually looks kind of sad. “What? Do you like to cuddle,” you tease him. He shrugs and pulls his sweatpants on, wincing a little when he sees the obvious wet patch on the front of them.
“Yeah. I do, um, I know you hate me and all but I’m at the Hyatt, Room 635, if you want to um,” he clears his throat.
“Are you asking me to come to your room to cuddle you?” You ask him incredulously as you pull your shirt back on. He yanks back on his ripped sweatshirt and grabs his discarded glasses off the floor. You sigh in defeat and reach out to mix his messy hair and place his hat back on his head. You pause and look at him, still kneeling over him. He nods, just once, his head barely even moving.
“You know you didn’t have to drag my channel just to get me to notice you, asshole,” you snort as you finish making yourself look presentable. Ian’s got several obvious bruises on his neck and you feel just a bit of pride that it was you that put them there.
“It wasn’t just to get you to notice me, I really do think your content needs some work. It just wasn’t quite bad enough to make a legit content cop on,” he admits scratching at the back on his neck sheepishly.
“Well your stamina needs some work, so how about we help each other out,” you tease as you open the closet door, peaking out to make sure the hall is still empty. It is. The next event isn’t starting for several hours.
“It’s a deal [y/n]” he agrees, following you back out into the hallway. You have to part ways as to not seem suspicious, but you can’t help but notice, as you sit back down where you had been before, that Ian is playing with the new hole in his sweatshirt.
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