"Ok Tommy! Let's get that bum bum changed and get you ready to go night-nights!" Linda, Tommy's mother-in-law, sang out in a sing-song voice as she breezed into the living room, an oversized crisp white construction-themed two-piece toddler style pajama set dangling from her hand. She wrinkled her nose in an exaggerated gesture as she approached the play mat where Tommy lay sucking on a bottle, his eyes wide and brimming with unshed tears. "Pee-yew! Stinky boy!" she teased, eliciting a whimper from her son-in-law as a look of hurt flashed across his face. "Oh, I'm sorry baby, Nana's only teasing. Although I must say, when I pictured this stage of life, I always thought I'd be changing my grandchildren's diapers, not my son-in-law's! But you're just a baby now, thanks to Liz - I mean, your mommy - finally taking my advice and treating you the way you've been acting all these years. I wonder how her date is going! I bet it's such a relief for her to finally be out with a real man for once." Linda mused cruelly as she unfastened the tapes of Tommy's sagging Pamper. He began to wail in protest, his cries echoing off the walls as he flung his empty bottle to the floor in a fit of impotent rage. Quick as a flash, Linda popped his oversized Winnie-the-Pooh pacifier between his lips, instantly muffling his pitiful sobs. With a look of distaste, she peeled back the front of the poopy diaper to reveal the massive, pungent load within. "Goodness, look who made a big poopy for Nana! Did baby Tommy make a stinky? Yes he did!" she cooed in a patronizing baby voice as she hoisted his legs up above his head, using the front of the diaper to wipe away the worst of the mess before setting to work with a stack of damp, perfumed baby wipes. She made quick work of cleaning his hairless bottom and tiny, penis, ignoring his anguished whines and frantic squirming. With a final swipe, she rolled up the dirty diaper and tossed it aside, replacing it swiftly with a fresh pamper embezzled with Barney under the elastic waistband . She slathered a thick layer of Desitin over the bright red diaper rash that covered his tender skin before dousing him liberally with sweet-smelling baby powder, taking a moment to pinch his thighs and tickle his sensitive bits as she teased him about his "itty bitty pee-pee".
With an efficient tug, she pulled the diaper up snugly and secured the tapes tightly around his belly . "Alrighty babykins, jammy time!" she trilled, sitting him upright and stripping off his onesie before wrestling him into the soft cotton pajamas. She scooped him up onto her ample hip and patted his diapered bottom as she carried him down the hall to the nursery, pausing only to deposit the stinky diaper into the overflowing pail by the changing table. "No pwease Nana, me stay up an' wait fo' Mommy! Me big boy!" Tommy lisped around his pacifier, his eyes wide and pleading as she lowered him into the confines of his crib. "Oh sweetie, we both know that's not true. It's way past bedtime for little boys like you. The sun is almost down and Mommy won't be home for hours yet. She's out enjoying herself with a grown-up man for a change. Now you just lay your sleepy head down and let Nana tuck you in tight." She pressed a kiss to his forehead and raised the side of the crib, clicking it into place with an air of finality. With a flick of her wrist she switched on the baby monitor and set the mobile spinning lazily above his head, filling the room with the tinny strains of a familiar lullaby. "Nighty night, baby boy," she cooed, flipping off the light and pulling the door shut behind her, cutting off the sound of Tommy's renewed wails as she headed back out to the living room to enjoy her evening of freedom.
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