I have so many emotions about Fareeha Amari and her parental figures
How quickly she had to grow up, and how publicly; Ana Amati’s steelhearted daughter. How many voices echoed behind hers when she argued against her mother; She is destined to do something great, something good
Did she have a period of anger, did it shoot out in every direction? I will be exactly like you only I will do it right, I will be nothing like you. Did it eventually loop back around but far more tender and raw this time???
Was Sam, her father there, not an icon or a mythic figure like her mom, but no less a person. Did he grieve too? When his daughter picked up what had been left behind and marched into that war too. Did he know it had no end (but then again, maybe they all knew even then)
All then with the rest of them, every adult who irrevocably shaped her future but never once managed to shield her from it. They warned her; it takes a village, but never told her what to do with all the ruins
Yes, she had her teenage rage at her mom, bursting from the chest of that childhood awe, swearing never to look up to someone like that again, never to forget that every hero hides a person. But how many times did she repeat it?? Did she pin her hopes on a line of people to see them all brought to their knees
How much bitterness swirled in her grief when Gabriel died?? How much rage was mixed in too when he returned??? How aching was the realisation that Reinhardt is greying more every year? does her heart stop when he winces, every move that seemed smooth and sure like water but only cause she still saw him through the eyes of a ten year old
Had she expected it, the grief and the anger and the love like a bass note beneath it all? How discordant and unavoidable it would sound?
Does she still sometimes pass old storefronts with yellowed newspaper and posters plastered on the glass, and see herself overlayed on an image of her mom that maybe, maybe didn’t ever really exist? Can she still catch herself in the thought, more visceral and heavy than words;
Will I ever really know where her body ends and mine begins?
kaledo-art
izzy806
dailybridgerton
