monokini II

Decided to transition from female to male after 6 years of anxiety at home. I want to document mainly what made me not want to transition and how your mind can play tricks on you. People talk alot about dysphoria and their body. I am very strong in terms of body, pronouns and was ok with how I looked until I turned 30 (watch out for hips). I thought I would be ok living inside myself like in a vessels that was female. But it turned out I am totally not ok with it. This blog is about learning how to be around people and building my identy around what I built before which is pretty... crazy. I lived on a fake personality, engaged in situations in which I didn't want to be. Dated people I didn't want to date. All that stuff! I need to share now.

[catsofinstagram]

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prrrr prr

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Bring on the Night

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REMIX

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Ma face.

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DEEJAY

https://www.mixcloud.com/64hz/64hzpromo-mix-spring-2016-monokini-san/

promo mix for our new night at a club called DAOME in Montreal.

[vjeranski]

Gerhard Richter 29.1.08 2008 15 cm x 10 cm Lacquer on colour photograph

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I like this more than just like

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funny but not funny

So after coming out at work I specifically said some changes would occur in my whole.... self. My voice is changing quite a bit. But people at work ask me if  i’m sick. Sometimes I wonder how people can forget I told them I was going for a sex change.  hehe not gonna come out everyday sorry. 

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empty

So I wont go and talk too much about this because i’m sure alot of people feel that way but. In the past 2 years I have been solving all my problems one by one from drugs to transition to finding a decent job and also paying my debts.

I am very proud of myself. YAY.  BUT I’M SO BORED. 

It seem all my relationships were based around me helping someone that was worse than me or a person trying to help me. I have not created any real relationships based on common passion or mutual goal.

so yah i’m on T I have money and I eat well. I don’t have this urge to spend all money like I used to. So i was almost thinking of starting a savings account ? .... or getting a tatoo ? but then what ? 

#bored

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Last night was fun! 

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live show tonight

Tonight me and my friends are broadcatsing our dj skills live on video. tune in if you want.

https://chew.tv/64hz

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mew mew

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) (positivity is cool) ♥ :D

- I am a really good at vogue/wacking 

- I’m a good techno dj and I’m always supprised when people say i’m their  inspiration for music. :3 so  that’s empowering.

- I’m proud that i’m not attached to my opinions, i’m always  whilling to change my mind on things, people or situations, if i was wrong. 

- People say i’m real ? so i’m proud of that, I can’t be someone else even when I try. 

- I like that i’m actually from the 80s and still rocking a fanny pack.

so shout out to my 2 real followers among my other followers that seem to be porno sites and or bots. 

#emthebook-worm and #sadbadbugs

tagged by #emq 

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let’s go out or something1

Hey montreal ? youhou. where do you go out? queer nights !

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T journal not really. maybe.

So one month on T = hyper + horny.

it’s ok... lol it’s new

[lovethewayyoubi]

For Anyone Who’s Been Told It’s “Just A Phase” | BuzzFeed

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<3

[jellomarshmallow]

I don’t think people realise how hard it is to re-discover the person you were before depression or even try to remember your own personality.

[missycvnt-deactivated20170331]

this is so true

[peanutbutterandjeri]

Oh god

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