Momster: Stressed Spelled Backwards is Desserts

[monroeofsorts]

Today: Parent.

Hello, all of my beautiful people! I hope that COVID-19 has not consumed your life and that you guys are safe! I felt like writing some things, so please, bear with me. 

As a woman, have you ever thought about your purpose in life? I know, I know, a loaded question. Before you answer, I do not want your response to be what society has influenced us to aspire to, but simply what YOU want to be. 

I find myself thinking about this a lot and having to recorrect an adjust what I want and ensuring that it is not what society has spoon-fed me. Today, while I was sitting on my bike, warming up for my cycling class, there was a new face. She was speaking to the instructor as they got her bike settings to her height. She stated how she use to lift but then stopped because her boyfriend did not like the look anymore—hearing her say this was like getting a slap in the face, dramatic, why yes indeed, but it was my initial reaction. She had gone on to say that he ended up hurting himself where he could not lift anymore and just stopped. 

I can only speak for myself as usual, but I feel like she stopped because she was trying to appease him somehow that I had no idea what that may be. In a way, her words were heartbreaking because I feel as women, we do this A LOT! Not only in relationships that I have experienced this but in friendships, parenting, and professional settings. 

A Reason Why We Feel Like Terrible Parents

Could this contribute to how some of us, parents, perceive how well of a job we are doing in raising our child(ren)? I hope not, but in all reality, it just maybe. None of us are experts for taking on the charge of raising a life - we learn as we go. Parents understand how their child(ren) think, feel, and interpret life. Professionals or those who have studied children's behavior/psych can only guide and navigate us through parenthood because, like any living thing, there is always room for unpredictability. 

I will repeatedly say to myself and my friends this; there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a parent who has it all together. Just remember, you are doing a great job. DO NOT LET SOCIETY DICTATE HOW YOUR CHILD SHOULD BE. Society did not push them out your who-ha and they were not the other party that help create your child(ren) either.

I hope you guys are staying safe, making good choices, and enjoying the precious moments with your loved ones. Have an awesome day! 

[monroeofsorts]

It’s Been Awhile...

Hey everyone! I hope all is well during the COVID-19 situation that our country and many other countries are currently trying to get past. This is crazy! My daughter is obsessed with how I grew up and now keeps saying, "Is this what the 80s were like?" I keep telling her I grew up in the 90s, and she just says, "Same thing, mom..." Now that I have the time to write and communicate with you all since the last post, I thought that we get reacquainted again.

How are you mamas doing out lately? Have you taken the time to care for yourself recently? I have actively trying to take care of myself as of the start of this year. I am in my early 30s, and I realized that it is time to start an outlet of sorts for me to get away for a while. 

I found this amazing Mom and Pop establishment that has cycling, Bikram yoga, Barre, and Pilates classes. I found this place on Groupon when I wanted to scroll on the deals to try to fall asleep. I came across this and was like this is fantastic! I started with the cycling class and then slowly gained the courage to do Bikram yoga. I ended up taking four days off from work and just did the classes. It was terrific and considered after my 10 class unlimited pass was up, I was going to inquire about membership or at least get a 10 class pass for cycling only. Then, BOOM, COVID-19 struck, and the establishment had to close down. 

Currently, the establishment is still closed, and I have wanted to do cycling class SOOOOO BAD! I even looked on Offer Up for a stationary bike, and I was just completely lost. What's that you say? Why not order Peleton or any other advertised indoor bike, well that costs money, and it takes planning. I like to plan out my purchases a couple months minimum before buying ANYTHING. 

On to the next topic...

The current company that I work for I have been with for five years as of February. I learned yesterday that I have been laid off due to COVID-19. This is bittersweet but I think wholeheartedly that this is a sign for me to move on. I just got my wisdom teeth (only 3 I’m such a lucky lady) removed so I may not make too much sense. At my work, I think I already out challenged my self with the opportunities that were available. I had my thoughts set out to become a manager but with how our department is, it would’ve been an even longer wait; a wait that I was willing to take. Now, I have to start all over again with another business/organization. I know many of you are dealing with the same situation but there is a light at the other end of the tunnel. Now it is your opportunity to do what your inner self wants to do. It is time to find a passion and not longer call it going to work. 

I hope all of you are doing well and please feel free to share your COVID-19 struggles or stories.

[stuckinreversemode]

“I assumed that you were an angel when I first found out about this project and found out that you were also in it, but you are not. You are a Bosley.”

[lilypadula]

New illustration for Variety Magazine on the lack of female film composers. Thanks to AD Chuck for this one!

[monroeofsorts]

This is simply beautiful! Being a lover of music as well as the other arts this brings me joy.

[monroeofsorts]

Changes...Good Thing?

Changes. There are many songs about changes just as there are many songs about love, loss, independence, and riches. Momsters, this change is a change that is a make or break. I will not get into specifics but how do you know when changes are good? 

I knew from the moment I was pregnant that my beautiful baby girl was going to change. I knew that she will blossom into a beautiful woman. No one told me how fast that change would be. As soon as I started to notice the shift occurring the fever of the baby came quickly. Then my baby boy was in my life, and everything in the world was right. Although my baby girl was changing and growing up, it was more exciting to watch her watch her baby brother grow. 

Now, my son is changing into a young man, and now I have the fever of the baby. I want another little bundle of joy but at the tender age of thirty...yes I said thirty, and I am sure you have already done the math if you have read my last posts...I do not think that I can do it. If I do have another child, I would need a partner and that partner would need to be in it to win it lol. In my own personal opinion, gender roles are out the window, over a cliff, in the deepest part of the ocean. I want a relationship that is indeed 50/50. I want to be able to count on my partner to be able to do my daughter's hair as well as my son’s hair. 

I want to not have him feel as though he’s intimidated buying feminine products, picking out presents, feeling uncomfortable around taboo topics that are not taboo but the way of life. Don’t get me, wrong people, I want a man’s man, but I want a man that is open-minded, open-hearted, and not afraid to say/show/express his love for his family and me. 

Changes. When do you know if the change(s) is no longer productive? When do you stop the change? The answer is to maintain true to yourself and your instincts, and you will know. So that is what I shall do. Pray. Breathe. One day at a time.

monroeofsorts

[monroeofsorts]

The Stress is Real...

Hello People! I hope that today that you had an amazing day! I did not have an amazing day but that is okay. I had a maximum effort day today. Work was more than just a place where I go to for eight hours five days a week to earn wages to support my family and myself...no this was a place where I flexed. HARD. 

I came home later than I usually do today and I felt as though I ran a marathon. I mean have you ever felt that way. Not only am I exhausted I am in physical pain. I do not know what’ s worse physically pain or emotional pain. Trick question! The answer is both in my opinion of course. 

Gaining new stressors is always a joy (if you can’t hear the sarcasm in that then you need to read more). I probably in the last month gained about 25 new stressors, that's basically almost at once a day. Do you feel like a magnet with certain things or situations? I do an let me tell you, I must be a powerful magnet. 

My children shouldn’t be considered a stressor because they do not purposely cause me stress I think that I am a helicopter mother and I cause these stresses and heightened my anxiety. Let me be real with you guys. 

I am a mother. Been one for about 11 years or so. I cry about three times a day. Maybe more depending on if it’s my children’s birthdays, the holidays, or if I come across the baby pictures. I love the feeling of peace and quiet when they are at my Ex-husband’s house but that’s like for two minutes and then I start becoming a basket case or super depressed. 

I wished that someone would’ve told me that this would be a thing. I probably could’ve prepared for this and it not be so bad. I was a hard ass before having my children. Now I get it. I give them all of my strength, beauty, smarts, and whits that I have to refill the tanks for myself. I am resilient I am strong but I could be more. Power to all of the moms out there that are crafty, that is a whiz in the kitchen, and who can do it all. I am not one of those mothers. I think that I bring to the table wisdom, kindness, selflessness, and a strong work ethic. I am procedural, rules/instructions need to be followed, and my babies cannot be stressed. If my babies are stressed and placed in adult situations then as a parent I deem myself a failure. I am here to protect, guide, structure, and form these little babies into good people. If you haven't thought that this responsibility is not a big deal, think again it is.  

I do not understand how some people parent but I believe that people parent like this due to seeing examples whether it be from their own parents or through the media. If we have this mindset I think that we can change the world. Ah, my wishful thinking. 

I think this is why my a** is so stressed out. I think that I am taking this too seriously for some of the judges out there but that is okay. I’ve been doing this by myself for a while and I take this responsibility in full. 

Until we read again my friends...

monroeofsorts

[monroeofsorts]

Damian x Hayden - Part 2

Damian: (gasping for air) whoa!

Hayden: Damian, it’s called holding your breath, you should try it sometime.

Damian: But Hayden, I was trying to but it wasn’t happening.

(Damian and Hayden today while at a pool party swimming)

[monroeofsorts]

I love this picture of my babies. We had my son’s friend’s 9th birthday party today and I caught this wonderful moment. I couldn’t hear what they were speaking about but it was beautiful to see them sharing a moment. 🤭😭🌵🌞🎉🕊

[monroeofsorts]

Damian x Hayden - Part 1

Hayden: Damian, why are you messing with that?!

Damian: Because it's mine, Hayden.

Hayden: Mommy! Damian is messing with his iPad.

Damian: Hayden you're not the boss of me! This is my iPad, and I was just checking on it.

Me: Both of you! Shut. It. Down. NOW!

[monroeofsorts]

My babies! I miss them! I have been looking at videos and pictures of them when they were little and I can’t help but think that they will not need me anymore. They will be independent and have their own lives. Gosh, I love them with all my being.

[monroeofsorts]

Promotion?...

Good Day Everyone! Long time no write! 

I have been on the grind trying to position myself to get my first promotion with my company. I do not think I told you guys what I actually do. I am a logistics coordinator for a well-known company. I have been in this department for a year and a half and let me tell you this has really shaped my civilian career path. I have used my military training to aid as well as guide me through my time in the department, but it did not come without challenges. 

I have always known that I am a perfectionist, but this position really highlighted this characteristic. I am used to being in a team environment, and I did not understand why out of my peers that I was like the odd-ball out. I had also encountered working alongside someone that did not mirror the same work ethic and or thought process in regards to logistics. I found myself every day looking for guidance from my military mentors and found a couple civilian mentors. 

I really started to tear myself apart because I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought maybe I am miscommunicating, or perhaps I am just so focused on my own work that I am missing social cues or lacking social intelligence. After speaking to my supervisor, she really helped me understand that I can only control what I can affect. Sounds silly and simple but I really lost sight of that. One individual cannot run a section or an entire business. 

I still felt like I needed guidance and that I was missing something. Then...BAM! Work email sent out to the entire group about the Formal Mentor Program. I decided what else do I have to lose. I signed up and was paired with a fantastic mentor!!! It has been five months or so, and she has helped me tremendously. With opening myself up at work and writing a case study on political savviness I have brought myself to the next level. 

...Yes. The answer is yes, and I am pleased with the end result. I do not know what this position entails, but I hope that I am able to learn and to share as much knowledge as I can. My children have been checking in on me and my progress. It was the greatest feeling in the world to be able to let them know mama nailed it. Best feeling in the world is not the moment I found out that I received the promotion but being on the receiving end of my children’s reaction :)

[monroeofsorts]

...The answer is...come check out my latest post

[monroeofsorts]

[monroeofsorts]

BABY FEVER!

Alright, ladies, I have caught a case of baby fever! My friend just had her little baby boy a week ago today, and when she told me that she is in labor (via text), I started crying I was so happy. I cried even more when she showed a picture of her little man. At first, I chalked it down to being a typical reaction because I am very happy for my friend and her family, but then I realized that I really wanted another baby. 

Financially, I know that I cannot afford a new addition and most importantly I am not in a romantic relationship, but it is a strong sense of wanting and needing to be with child. I made a promise to myself that I would give it until I was 32 1/2 to have another baby. If I am not in a place where I can have a baby with someone I love then that will be a door I would need to close. 

My children are begging for another sibling. I think it would be interesting to see how they are through my pregnancy and for when the baby arrives. It is the most fantastic feeling to carry a life. It brings perspective to your own life and the lives of those you’ve touched...oh and let's not forget the new baby smell!!! That smell can be relaxing as well as dangerous. 

Ladies, have you had the BABY FEVER? If so, I would like to hear about it. Better yet, any of your significant others have baby fever? 

Best Regards,

MonroeOfSorts

[monroeofsorts]

Momster on the #RedForED Campaign...

Hello to all my beautiful people!!! Most of you moms are in the same situation with having their children out of school currently for the next three school days (Thursday, Friday, and now Monday). I have been following coverage on #RedForED, and I am really floored as to what is being said.

I understand both ends of the spectrum on the issue, and I would have to say that I am supportive of the teachers. Is the walkout/strike the right way to handle things, who knows. What I do know is that most people in my beautiful state cannot afford to place their children in private school or have the means of getting them to a charter school.

The elementary school that I attended had the same issues in regards to funds, textbooks, supplies, and other materials. My mother and father’s only option that made sense financially and logically was to send my brother and me to public school. Classrooms were at 30 children per teacher. We were all crammed into classes, and it would be sweltering. They did ask parents to donate, and out PTO group sold tons of candies and other items to get funds for our school. 

As I sit on social media, all I hear from some parents are about planned trips that money cannot be refunded and how selfish teachers are. What’s selfish is that the parents do not see the bigger picture. The places that their children are going for the summer will always be there. Shouldn’t trips be contingent on whether their child passes or behaves? I would be upset to for awhile, but the teachers could have settled with the 20% raise Governor Ducey implemented, but that was not the issue...well at least not the source of their constraints. 

Teachers are utilizing their own money to provide their students with the tools they need to succeed. As I see it, the 20% raise is not really for the teacher its to help fund their supplies in the classroom. I am thankful that my son has 17 children in the classroom because he has difficulty with reading and writing. However, my daughter has about 30 students in her class. I understand that we must do what we can to create a strong foundation for our children’s future but how can we move forward without the community and the state investing in them? How can we make Arizona a stable state? Why are we so low in comparison to other states?

[monroeofsorts]

Tis The Season for GIRL SCOUT COOKIES...

Tis the season for Girl Scout Cookies yall! My daughter has been on the grind for the past week. I currently do not know where her sales are at but I know her motivation is to better the Girl Scouts of America. I am a little bit saddened by the selection of cookies that my state chapter offers. While I was stationed in California, I bought about two cases of Lemonades. These cookies are like Trefoils in a circle shaped cut in half to look like the inner part of lemon with a thin layer of lemon icing. I swear this cookie brings out my inner child and diva all at once. I have been looking for friends that have access to this cookie so I can buy some. I mean this is the only Girl Scout cookie that I will probably go crazy for. 

We have cookies galore in my apartment. I have a month or so to get these cookies sold. My tactics are subtle but this is where I have my daughter think of her own ways to sell her product. She is knowledgeable on all of her merchandise and knows how to recover when someone says they are watching their diet :) I have so many cookies at home only because she is having her dad build a cookie pop-up shop. This girl is going to run her own business someday.

If you would like to donate or purchase cookies for yourself, please feel free to message me.

Sincerely Yours, 

MonroeOfSorts

[monroeofsorts]

Motherhood at it’s Finest

Do you just love it when you tell your children no and then they do it anyway thinking that they know better...well this week my daughter decided to test me and it did not go well for her.

My children at the beginning of the school year petitioned over the summer to take their lunch to school. I repeatedly said no until we had a family meeting with some ground rules. Out of this family meeting, I found out that they do not like the lunch that the school provides for them. 

My daughter stated how sometimes the food is cold or mushy and it is not supposed to be. My son stated that sometimes he wants to not eat the food because it smells old.  Growing up I remember lunch that was provided and it was not good. So, I agreed to purchase items so they can put their lunch together every day. 

Well a couple days ago, my daughter asked me to cut her apple into sections like I normally do. I was busy with helping her brother read and with his other homework. I went to the bathroom and then sat on my bed to take off my shoes. She comes in to tell me that I am going to be really mad at her while tears run down her face. 

She revealed to me that she cut herself while trying to cut her apple. I was furious. I grabbed her thumb and squeezed tightly and held it above her heart. This was the big “ I Told You So” moment and I took it 100%. After examining her cut after the bleeding stopped it looked like a papercut. Very thin and superficial. I had a really long LONG lecture. Then told her to get ready for bed. 

I get so frustrated that I tell them no and the reasons why they shouldn’t do what I’m telling them not to do. Man, do any of you have any stories where your parenting was tested? If so, I would love to read about them!

Can’t wait to read some of your stories,

MonoreOfSorts