Today was another beautiful day with my girlfriend. We watched Netflix, had coffee oolong milk tea and strolled through the university campus nearby as the fall colors showed us a forgotten beauty that was hidden between the winter and the summer.
That's what life feels like lately.
Everything has changed so fast from summer nights rolling around in bed to cold days wearing a jacket, feeling rescued once you step into your home.
From the afternoons spent at the cafes freelancing to the afternoons spent at the desk resisting the slow, invisible erosion of my individuality in the spotless office of a mega corporation.
From the evenings spent forcing myself to socialize with strangers, pushing myself to date as if it was a hard-earned job and my life depended on the results of it - to the evenings spent having dinner with my new girlfriend and seeing her smile as she tells me about the most mundane occurrences of her day.
"No man ever steps in the same river twice."
We have to push forward, we must push forward.
The world is in constant motion through the galaxy, our cells constantly dying and coming to life. Countries are at war, people are suffering. Countries are at peace, people are rejoicing. AI is evolving and we might evolve with it.
When I think about it... what a unique opportunity is it to live in a time when change is palpable? A world where we could make a difference with our words and actions... where I could make a difference?
I just can't stop being reminded of the fleetingness of this existence without an apparent meaning. And as I am in the midst of this new relationship, reflecting on my feelings, trying to live in the moment... I cannot ignore that the odd ones from the past are resurfacing when I spend precious, comfortable time with her. What is this? Is it that I have found love again after years and I'm being reminded of the melancholy of the breaking to pieces of my old love?
Why does it feel like I just woke up as a 26-year-old - as if I had never been a kid? As if I had never been that insecure teenager with huge hopes and dreams who has led me to the great adventures and beautiful opportunities that have paved the way of this long journey to becoming the man I am today?
I guess that's what becoming an adult really feels like. When you forget your past life. When you see the picture of your 13th birthday and can hardly recognize that kid there is you. When the selfies I took when I moved to Canada have a faded scent of courage and fearlessness of a young man in the making who has never let you down.
This awareness can be painful, but I feel good. I know I have found peace. My girlfriend has tidied up the inner corners of my mind with her reassuring presence and loving words and gestures.
Even the afternoons and evenings spent reading Marcus Aurelius a few months back are becoming memories. It feels like that was a strange, difficult but magical time - as if I had attended university for the first time and graduated on the day my girlfriend said yes to becoming a couple.
I am deeply grateful for all that I've learned from an emperor that has lived 2000 years ago and the refined, analytical, granular study of the human condition that Ancient Greek philosophers like Aristotle have provided to humanity.
I am grappled by feelings of uncertainty and transience as I experience such fast and dramatic changes in my life, but luckily those changes are the good kind.
I will use the knowledge I've acquired and solidified in my subconscious throughout the summer to keep going and live fulfilling moments. Fearless. I will choose to live.
dededos
dailybridgerton
baratheonpilled
kianamaiart
