Hey hi hello!!! Itโs been literally a year since Iโve been back on here and I wanted to apologize to all of you and all of my wonderful friends who Iโve fallen out of contact with. Iโm always thinking about you all and wishing you well though!!
The past year has been unkind to me. I got a job that has been one of the worst experiences Iโve had the misfortune of enduring (and which is also the reason I havenโt been able to be on here in so long) and my mental health and self esteem has been at an all time low.
I just read the New Yearโs post that I made last year and I talked about how 2018 had been a year of invisible growth. How I had done a lot of healing, and grown my roots down. And Iโm so grateful for that year of healing. Because I needed it. The same way I hope that next year, Iโll look back and reflect on how I needed 2019, to have the 2020 Iโm about to have.
In 2019 I hated myself. I hated my situation. I lost some friends and felt a distance growing between myself and others. I felt lonely and like I had no self worth. But I did things that I needed to do. I got myself a job, despite how terrifying it was for me. I got myself a car, something that had literally been hindering my life since I was a teenager. I reached out to a childhood friend and reconnected with them. I went to a bunch of Kpop shows, which is where I feel my happiest.
This past year has been unkind, but I myself have been unkinder. Iโve gained a lot of weight, and I havenโt been taking good care of my body. But in 2020 Iโd like to learn to love myself regardless of what I look like. And Iโd like to treat my body with the kindness and gentleness she deserves.
So I hope to be back on here more regularly soon, and I hope everyone has a 2020 full of love, kindness, and happiness!!
(Also Iโve been active on twitter in case anyone was wondering where I went -itโs easier to use during work. So you can always follow me there at @starboyjjks !!)
