my favourite tweet ever
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@moonlight-dan
my favourite tweet ever
Satan snake
genre: smut
warnings: swearing, sex, brief 2012 mentions if you squint really hard
wordcount: 5k
kinks: neck thing, teasing, fingering, blowjob, bottom!dan, kinda’ nosy!powerbottom!dan tbh
prompt: Dan and Phil haven’t had sex in a while and Phil is being a tease (aka a little shit) about it.
Keep reading
What do you think D&P would be like performing oral on a girl?
hmm (oops this is long)ok so dan would like tease the fuck out of them and would slide his tongue ever so slowly over their clit just to make them squirm and beg for more. even when they beg, he’d still take it slow, slipping in a finger and pumping it slowly while sucking on their clit. but he’d then speed it up, adding a second finger and flicking their clit with his tongue. he’d also dirty talk them against their clit, just so the vibrations could make them moan little more. dan would also be jacking off while eating them out.phil on the other hand would probably let them sit on his face and he’d hold their hips tightly with his hands while he fucks them with his tongue. he’d move one hand down to rub their clit and he’d move his other hand up to pinch and play with one of their nipples. i also feel like every time they’d moan, phil would moan bc he loves giving ppl pleasure and it gets him hard as fuck
Can you write about how D&P finger girls?
yeah !phil: okay so he’d rub their clit to get them squirming and desperate. he’d then slide his fingers over their hole before slowly pushing them in. he’d pump his fingers slowly, curling them sometimes just to tease. he’d also place his fingertips on their g-spot and he’d rub it really fast and then really slow and then really fast and so on and so forth. when they cum, he’d pull his fingers out so slow and he’d suck on his fingers and moan fUckdan: okay dan would dirty talk the fuck out of them. he’d say shit like, “you want me to fuck you with my fingers? you wanna cum all over my fingers, angel?” then he’d put one finger in and he’d slowly pump that in and out before adding a second finger. he’d fuck them faster and he’d curl his fingers every once in a while, all while muttering, “like this, baby? you’re moaning real loud for me, getting me so fucking hard…” and when they cum, dan would keep fucking them until they squirm or push his hand away then he’d keep eye contact with them before slowly sucking his fingers clean, moaning, “so good, darling… so fucking sweet for me…”
older!stepbrother phil walking in on dan fingering himself in the bathroom? u take it from there (no incest tho)
mmMm ((disclaimer– they are in no way related in this hc & this does not reflect what u should/should not do irl))
dan’s been spending an obscene amount of time in the bathroom, recently, ever since his mum remarried and phil came to live with them. they share a room and dan can’t have any time to himself like he used to. it’s fucking annoying, laying in bed and aching to rut down into the sheets, then remembering the older boy is sleeping soundly in the bed across from his. he hates it.
he retreats to the bathroom instead, usually, taking longer showers so he can fist his cock under the warm water, or filling up the tub, using the rushing water to conceal his loud whimpers as he fucks himself open with three fingers. and maybe. maybe when he closes his eyes, he imagines phil’s long, pale fingers working him open instead of his own. he hates to admit it, but phil’s fucking hot and adorable at the same time. dan wants him so badly.
he’s in the bath now, on his hands and knees with his ass arched up, his dripping cock bobbing between his legs as he teases his hole. with copious amounts of lube, he carefully works the tip of each finger inside until he’s trembling with need, sucking in shallow breaths. finally, he presses one inside up to the knuckle. he has to bite his arm to muffle his moan of pleasure, pumping his finger in and out, cock twitching, until he’s ready for a second, then third, and finally fourth finger. his cock is hurting from how hard it is and he decides to settle on his back into the pleasantly warm water so that he can fuck himself on his blunt fingers and grip his leaking cock.
“ah- ah, phil-” he gasps, hoping the water drowns him out. he’s breathing hard and fast, already close to cumming, when suddenly the door slides open with a soft click. dan’s body goes rigid, eyes flicking upward to see his stepbrother standing there smirking at him, arms crossed over his chest.
“well no wonder it always takes you so long to get your arse of of the shower,“ phil teases.
dan quickly struggles to get up, embarrassed, but his legs are shaky and he ends up leaning heavily on the tile wall, fingers still curled in his entrance.
”fuck,” he swears breathlessly. “don’t tell mum, just– shit, phil, don’t keep /staring/.”
phil’s eyes are roaming over his flushed body, staring unabashedly, and dan can feel his cheeks burn and his cock spurt out more precum. phil closes the door and draws closer, cornering him.
“is that my bottle of lube?” phil questions, a hint of amusement in his voice. “was wondering where it kept going.” dan’s terrified that phil’s upset, but his gaze travels downwards and he notices that his stepbrother’s cock is visible straining against the front of his pajama pants. “i heard you whimpering my name. why use your fingers when you can have my cock? it’ll fill you up so much nicer.”
eyes wide, dan nods quickly. “fuck. please?”
phil takes that as consent to work his pants down past his thighs, and dan’s jaw falls open at the sight of the older boy’s cock. fuck, it’s huge. bigger than anything dan’s taken. he lets out a strained moan as his brother grabs his soft hips and turns him around, pushing him down so he’s bent over the tub. phil easily sets about dragging him down onto his cock.
the velvety catch of skin on skin paired with the stretching sensation feels so much better than his fingers and dan mewls, letting his legs slowly spread until phil pushes all the way in and dan is impaled by his huge, twitching cock. dan can feel his whole body quivering and pulsing with pleasure.
“what a good boy, taking all of me. so tight…” phil grunts, breathing hard. he grabs dan around the middle and lifts him a little, rocking his hips up and thrusting harder and harder into the boy. dan’s eyes are rolled back in his head from the pure pleasure– this is dirty, this is his stepbrother, but it’s so, so hot, he thinks as phil pounds the entire length of his cock in hard and deep.
dan’s cock is rubbing on the slick rim of the tub, smearing precum over the smooth surface. the head of phil’s length bumps his prostate, then, and his body goes rigid. he cums with a whimper, so hard he can’t see, can’t breathe, and finally he notices phil is covering his mouth to muffle his cries.
“you’re loud, fuck, i- gonna cum..”phil slams roughly into him, groaning and shaking as he cums. dan can feel every pulse shooting into him, filling him up, and he lays there in bliss while phil slowly pulls out and collapses on the wet tile floor.
“jesus, that was so good,” phil murmurs, running a hand along dan’s spine. sleepy and sated, dan melts into the touch.
“mhm.” he agrees. phil wraps him in a big fluffy towel and they stumble towards their shared bedroom. dan falls asleep curled into phil’s side, hoping they’ll be able to do this again– after all, he thinks, he’s gotten quite tired of wanking alone in the bathroom.
Hair
Description: 2009!Dan grinds on a pillow while listening to Phil’s newest video
Tags: Pillow Grinding; Masturbation; 2009!phan;
A/N: i was having serious trouble in writing and even with all the advice i was having trouble focusing and getting the right amount of words thrown unto this page. eventually i ran with a blurb of an idea and decided you know what im just going to throw up all the words that have been running around my brain and see where exactly it gets me. so heres the consequences of my brain spew.
expert: Phil’s voice filled the empty house and his giggle made Dan smile.
Dan shut his eyes and leaned back in bed, pushing his yoga’s down past his ankles.Dan pushed the pants away and discarded his shirt, still breathing heavy.
Keep reading
There was this phanfic where dan and phil had broken up, and phil now had a girlfriend. Phil liked it rough but he was gentle with his girlfriend and dan knew phil wanted more so he talked phil into it, help me find it? thanks!
And If Anyone Asks, You’re My Best Friend - In which Phil gets a girlfriend, Dan is jealous, then Phil is sexually frustrated, so Dan gets him off.
- Tori
Introductions
Summary: Punk!Phil introduces pastel!Dan to his friends, and he has a great reception. (thanks for the internet dating/meeting of friends prompt from an anon!)
Genre: sin
Word Count: 4.1k
Includes: voyeurism (truth or dare style!), praisekink!dan, short!dan, online relationship/meeting for the first time, and a bit of spooning at the end for an anon who wanted it
Keep reading
Reblog if your blog is safe for the LGBTQIA community.
also
Make me admit stuff?
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? 4. Is trust a big issue for you? 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? 6. What are you excited for? 7. What happened tonight? 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? 9. Is confidence cute? 10. What is the last beverage you had? 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 14. What are you going to spend money on next? 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 18. The last time you felt broken? 19. Have you had sex today? 20. Are you starting to realize anything? 21. Are you in a good mood? 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? 24. What do you want right this second? 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 34. Listening to? 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? 38. Who did you last call? 39. Who was the last person you danced with? 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 44. Do you tan in the nude? 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 47. Who was the last person to call you? 48. Do you sing in the shower? 49. Do you dance in the car? 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? 53. Is Christmas stressful? 54. Ever eat a pierogi? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 57. Do you believe in ghosts? 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 59. Take a vitamin daily? 60. Wear slippers? 61. Wear a bath robe? 62. What do you wear to bed? 63. First concert? 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? 65. Nike or Adidas? 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? 69. Ever take dance lessons? 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? 71. Can you curl your tongue? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? 74. What is your favorite book? 75. Do you study better with or without music? 76. Regularly burn incense? 77. Ever been in love? 78. Who would you like to see in concert? 79. What was the last concert you saw? 80. Hot tea or cold tea? 81. Tea or coffee? 82. Favorite type of cookie? 83. Can you swim well? 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 85. Are you patient? 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? 87. Ever won a contest? 88. Ever have plastic surgery? 89. Which are better black or green olives? 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? 91. Best room for a fireplace? 92. Do you want to get married?
DO It
ooh ooh this looks fun do it
Bottom!phil makes me feel really sick and like no
Pale Blog | Pale Humans
I want to follow every single nsfw phan blog please reblog if you are one and I will follow all of you
Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.
Of fucking course
What sick bastard doesn’t
“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.
Yowch, disgusting.
If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.
This does happen. And it is just as wrong. NO ONE should be abused. NO ONE. EVER!