I canât tell you how or why it happened, but I finally woke up from the illusion that I thought was meant to be my life.
I told myself I was doing the best I can, that I was making the most of my lifeâŚ
And that was so far from the truth that it shocked me.
I realized that I had been going through the motions and simply surviving for as long as I could remember.
And I wondered why I was unhappy.
Because I was settling for a lackluster life and couldnât understand why I would feel the need to cry myself to sleep and woke up feeling exhausted.
My soul was weary and my spirit was stagnant.
I had forgotten who I was and what I wanted and it left me feeling utterly empty.
I canât live like that anymore.
I need more and I deserve better.
If I wonât treat myself the way the way I want, how can I expect anyone else to?
So, Iâm turning the page in the story of my life.
If Iâm honest, I donât know where to start, what to do or how to changeâŚ
Iâve made up my mind and Iâm going to start with making small changes that move me in the right direction.
Iâm going to start doing more of the things that set my soul on fire.
Iâve not let myself truly breathe in a very long time.
Starting with today, starting with me, Iâm changing my direction and listening to my heart.
I havenât been truly alive in so long that Iâve almost forgotten how it felt.
Iâm done feeling bad, being miserable and telling myself that Iâm too tired, too alone and too this or that.
This is my life and I have a choice.
I choose to become more..
More of the things that I want and more of the things that I deserve.
Iâm going to treat myself with respect and belief and Iâm not going to keep beating myself up.
Iâm going to take that trip.
I will try that new recipe.
Iâll make that long overdue lunch date with my friend and laugh like we always do..
Iâm just going to start doing the things that Iâve put off, made excuses for and ignored for so long.
I made it this far unhappy and empty..
Iâm excited to see what I can do now, with my passions alive and my soul on fire.
Maybe itâs not the entire answer, but itâs a start.
And sometimes in life, thatâs all it takes.
To start. To rise again. To be free.
So thatâs what Iâm doing.
Looking in the mirror, I canât help but smile.
âHi there. Itâs been a while. Iâve missed you.â
That girl is finally coming backâŚ
And I, for one, canât wait to see her again.
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