I have recently reached a very dark place mentally.
For the first time, I'm having suicidal thoughts because I'm sick of everything.
My mother seems to have forgotten that this body carried me through fucking cancer! And she's obsessed with telling me to lose weight and eat less. Bodyshaming me at every chance! Commenting on my plate and how my portion is ridiculous and should be halved!
I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of this body who first betrayed me with cancer and now with an image that brings me only shame. I'm sick of the family who deals with what happened to me as if it were a flu or something. Something I should be easily able to forget about!
I'm sick of not being able to show my feelings in front of them because it's always "you're being dramatic" "you're ruining the vibe"
I should hear bodyshaming, belittling and insults and keep a smiling face!
I don't fucking have a smiling face ANYMORE
