Because I think it would be really interesting and funny - can you rank the Pit Babe characters on your Alan&Pete scale? I'm curious to see where you're at with some of them lmao. Least to Favorite (though I know who your fave already is, lol).
Only if you want to tho, lol.
@slayerkitty, honestly, this list could just be these two lying bitches:
Big Red is not on this list since he is the big bad, but since I have no idea what the plot actually is, take all of this with a grain of salt. I wrote that I think all of them have superpowers since Big Red was collecting them like X-Men's William Stryker for his super mutant army, so I think Charlie's superpower is mind control, and I think Way's is controlling people's emotions.
Babe was the prized super kid, so I think Big Red is pulling out all the stops to get his trophy racer back including sending all the other super kids to manipulate Babe with their superpowers, so let me rank them from dead-to-me to love-of-my-life:
The One I'm Ready to Box - Charles
Charles keeps moving Barbie's head and body to face him. He never lets Barbie turn away from him. Then, when Barbie is clearly upset, Charles continues to kiss him, which is why I think he his mind controlling Barbie. When his arm was in the sling, Babe could push him away before Charles could start his mind control bullshit. Sometimes, it's noticeable when Babe's face softens, which should come off as sweet like "ah, look how he drops his defenses around Charlie" BUT LOOK AT THE WAY HE DROPS HIS DEFENSES AROUND CHARLIE! Charles doesn't even know how to drive, yet Babe gave him a car. Charlie's dick game may be strong, but mind control is stronger.
10/10 Petes - It's on sight.
The One I'm Disappointed In - Waymond
Waymond had me the first two episodes. I was in his second-lead-syndrome corner, then he flipped the script in the third episode, and now I can't unsee the red flags. In episode four, I noticed twice how he touched Barbie, which prompted a shift in Barbie's demeanor. Much like Charles, I would love to believe that Waymond brings happiness to Babe's life, which is the reason Babe looks less sad when Waymond touches him, but HE LOOKS LESS SAD WHEN WAYMOND TOUCHES HIM! I think Waymond is controlling Babe's emotions, yet Babe still doesn't love him. It's the only saving grace for Waymond. Charles is using his powers to make Barbie love him, but Waymond isn't.
9/10 Alans - I'm gonna yell at him, then punch him.
The One Who Is Obvious - Jeffery
Jeffery is going to be with Alan, so I can't fully hate him since I love Alan. His superpower is apparently seeing the future, which makes sense why he was opposed to touch in the second episode, and that makes him useful in my touch=superpower theory for Charles and Waymond, so I hate him a little less. BUT if he had anything to do with Barbie's car going up in flames, so he could ensure Charles got a racing spot, -murder-
8/10 Petes - One wrong move and I'll end him where he stands.
The One Who Just Sucks - Winifred
Winifred is just a little bitch, but God is he annoying. I don't wanna know what he is saying because I'm sure it's as annoying as his face whining all the time. Only five episodes in, and the man still ain't tired of getting his ass handed to him by Barbie and Kimberly. Whatever he is plotting is dumb. Whatever he is complaining about is stupid. Whatever he is doing is already a failure.
7/10 Alans - I'm gonna push him into a real Christmas Tree, so he'll get scratched up and cry about it.
The One Who Is Gonna Suck - Decanus
Dean has yet to do anything solid, which means he is just waiting to fuck us over. I haven't seen him race or work on a car, so I'm thinking he'll be pissed that Charles is doing all the things he wanted to do, and screw over the entire team regardless of the race's outcome. Jealously makes people do crazy things, but he is going to be with Winner, so homie is going to go full crazy.
6/10 Petes - Anyone who fucks Whiny Winifred deserves to be slapped.
The Ones Who Ain't Loyal - North & Sonic
I simply don't trust them. They are too colorful in a show that's whole visual plot hinges on red versus blue. They need to pick a color. NOW.
5/10 Alans - I'll threaten them on work time, so they'll know I'm not afraid to lose my job if it means I can fight them.
The One Who Is Gonna Kill His Shitty Boss! - Kenta
Why is he still fucking with Big Red?! He would be much higher on this list but when Babe was fighting Big Red (both times), Kenta looked sad. If the flashback wouldn't have just showed Babe as a kid with his dad, I'd think Kenta was his actual brother. The way Babe yelled at him in the parking lot makes me think they have a long history, so I'm hoping once Kenta teams up with Kimberly, he'll be the good guy I know he can be.
4/10 Petes - If he kills his boss, he'll be number one in my heart forever.
Pete is like a Lord of the Rings' elf. He is pretty. He is an archer. He is kinda sus. And he is the perfect ally. Much like those beautiful elves, I don't think he joined up with the blue team because he is a kind dude. This is for his own personal gain, which means he must have beef with Big Red; therefore, he has a superpower too. I think he heard Kenta or smelled Kenta's cigarette because Peter didn't turn around until Kenta turned around. He knew Kenta was there. And he sensed Waymond's emotion-changing powers too, so I'm okay with them being together (as long as he punches Waymond too).
3/10 Alans - Watching his every move . . . because I think he is pretty. Not because I think is he bad.
The One Who Will Solve It - Kimberly
Kim is a real one. He presents as red. He works for the reds. He is a red, and isn't ashamed of it. He hasn't faked his color, and in a perfect world, he'd be with Babe. I don't think he has a superpower, but if he did, it would be the power of common sense. He hates his coworker, Winifred, as any sane person would, so he gets the passenger seat in my car. He also got a handshake from Babe, so he already made friends with Babe. They would make a perfect pair. Barbie x Kimberly Ghost Ship is being captained by me.
2/10 Petes - We're frenemies!
Babe is the title character, and he is being manipulated and controlled by everyone around him, but . . . the boy is un pendejo. The first two episodes, he was a little too macho, and in episode three and four, he was un pendejo. He argued with Kenta when Kenta could have just kidnapped him, then he punched everyone on his way to Big Red's office, which makes no sense to walk directly up to the man who is going all out to get you back. He is in need of a good hug that does NOT lead to sex, and for someone to tell him he is more than his superpower (which is . . . being awesome at everything?).
1/10 Kanghans - I'm upset at him and for him all at once.
My man has committed no wrongs. He is amazing. He is fantastic. He is beauty. He is grace. He should slap all these fucking liars in the face.
But he won't because he is too pure for this world.
No Petes. No Alans. No Kanghan. Just love.
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