Do you think Logan ever talks to the others about emotions?
I know heās very reluctant to discuss them, or really admit that he even feels them sometimes, but maybe he gets curious one day and goes up to them separately- quietly - under the guise of an experiment, asking very simply, āWhat do you feel?ā
Roman answers the easiest. āI feel brave,ā he smiles, then frowns when he sees Loganās unimpressed eyebrow raise. āWhat? Bravery can be a feeling, too!ā Logan doesnāt answer, just scribbles in a notebook, until the prince sighs. āConfident. I feel confident.ā
Virgil takes a little bit longer, chewing on his lip for a second before starting slowly, āā¦Panicky? Sometimes, I mean. Just- when your heart speeds up, and youāre shaky, and everythingās too fast, yāknow? Or annoyed.ā And Logan doesnāt need an explanation for that one, having just come from Romanās room and all, but he does make a mental note to research relaxation techniques later.
When Logan asks Patton, he takes the longest to answer by far - something Logan didnāt quite expect; the moral side sits for a minute and blinks at him, his mouth scrunched to the side.
And Logan definitely didnāt expect that.
āNot all the time,ā Patton continues idly, ābut sometimes Iām overwhelmed, like when nothing goes right and I just feel like crying. Sometimes I feelā¦ kinda empty? Sometimes Iām tired and frustrated with everything and a lot of other stuff- but all together, it just bundles up to āsadā.ā
Logan can only stare at him with a tight frown, notebook abandoned in his lap, because he hasnāt heard something like that from the Patton since their argument in his room, and he didnāt quite realize the moral side still had those moments - but what worries him even more is that he understands. Heās spent countless nights in front of his desk, the only light drifting from his fading lamp, eyes tired and brain too slow to be useful, and heās felt hollow in every sense of the word.
Patton glances over and smiles; itās soft, and wan, and Logan gets the feeling that Patton knows what the logical side really meant when he asked his original question: Why?
āBut sad isnāt forever,ā he hums, glancing out the window, staring at the rising moon and all its stars, āeven if it it feels like it is, because every time I go outside is another time I get to see the sunshine or feel rain - I get to watch the leaves change colors, and then I get to wait for them to come back when they fall, and I get to smile when they bring flowers with them. Every day, I get to hear a new song, or I learn something funny I havenāt seen before, something I get to tell my family and see their smiles again, and every night, I get to see the stars - I get to watch them shine and make their shapes and I get to learn their stories, one by one. Every time I wake up and open my eyes is another day of things Iāve never experienced and things I have, things I love and things I might.āĀ
His eyes twinkle when he meets Loganās gaze again, but this time, his smile is bright, the shining beam Logan recognizes so immediately.Ā
āEvery moment I exist feels hopeful, and thatās a lot more permanent than being sad.ā
2087
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