༺♡༻ @morbid-mantis - Tumblr Blog

fuck you i would’ve never done that to you

spitblossoms

all you wanted was that feeling. all you wanted was the spark to glow, and never fade away.

oldwinesoul

anxeious

mournfulroses

Boris Pasternak, from a letter to Marina Tsvetaeva featured in Letters, Summer 1926

realizing being in my first healthy relationship, that nobody before my current partner ever actually loved me and that i also never actually loved anybody before him either, is a lot to come to terms with and is horrifying

55five

If it’s meant to be I’ll see you later

i don’t have an outlet to vent on so i’m gonna use this.

i am still dealing with the heartbreak of losing your friendship and being so humbled by your decision to, essentially, back my abuser instead of backing me after 10 years of friendship.

i told you everything. i told you many secrets. we had many inside jokes. we helped each other through many breakups. you came to my house at night because you needed to vent and i was here for you. but i couldn’t come to you when i needed you most. i should’ve gone on vacation with you that time you asked. i should’ve been there more. i should’ve listened to you. why did you have to hurt me?

i never got any kind of closure from this. i read the “he’s my friend too” message and thought that would be enough for me to move on and keep going without having your friendship. but it only makes it hurt worse.

i trusted you for 10 years. you saw sides of me nobody else ever did. i was extremely vulnerable with you. i miss our 2-3 hour long calls. i miss texting. i miss hanging out and being in your presence. will i recover from this without any closure?

i just want to mean as much to someone as they mean to me

i hold so much resentment for you for taking me away from my 2 childhood animals when they needed me the most and making it so i didn’t cherish my last years with them. i hold so much guilt for not being with them in their final moments.