mo

the world is yours

[oldlaughinbro]

[greed]

when you’re sad and squad is there for you

[morganbagel-blog]

Me: I'm really sad.

Me: Maybe this sad music will help.

[catceleste]

my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March 2nd” on the whiteboard in the drama classroom. It was completely arbitrary but we kept it it up, “30 days until March 2nd”  ”23 days until March 2nd” etc. It spread around enough that the entire school is buzzing about what is going to happen on March 2nd. We figure we should think of something and decide to bring in cake. There were about 13 of us in total committed to bringing a cake. On March 2nd, during 3rd period lunch we all entered the cafeteria in a line (the parade of the cakes) and laid them out—a grand cake buffet for everyone in that lunch period. We did it the next year. And after we graduated it kept going.

This past March 2nd was the 9th year they’ve done it. It’s become a school sponsored event. There are t-shirts for this thing every year. March 2nd is cake day. I am a god. 

[cuffya-bitch-deactivated2018082]

[governmentsecret]

Government Secret #69

Dogs are the only real animals, the rest of them are just dogs in costumes

[hense]

When I die I want all my possessions to go to my dog, don’t worry about my family, they’ll be fine

[percyhoneybee]

THERE MUST BE A PARAGRAPH BREAK EVERY TIME A NEW CHARACTER SPEAKS

THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL

NO ONE WANTS TO READ ONE BIG BLOCK OF TEXT JESUS CHRIST

[bloated-butch]

REMEMBER TIP TOP OK:

Make a paragraph every time that any of these things change!

Ti me

P lace

To pic

P erson

[writeworld-blog]

[awwww-cute]

This is a thing that actually happened in our town

[victorious]

My typical school day

[ifbuteverythought]

As a teacher, I wish one of my students would say this. I would die laughing and then remember I’m supposed to be the adult in the room. 

[viciere]

WHY IS THIS TINY CHILD FUNNIER THAN ME

[yuricema-deactivated20230814]

[itsdansheehan]

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

boys will go around judging girls if their asses and boobs aren’t exactly to their liking but the moment a girl isn’t impressed by their 4 inch dick they’re being “oppressed” and “have to conform to ridiculous standards”

[bitchyafrican]

louder cause I don’t think they hear you in the back

[wtf-jax]

MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DON’T GIVE A *whispers quietly so my parents can’t hear me* frick

[siacherry]

*POLICE SIRENS*

[invisible-clock]

[iswearimnotnaked-deactivated201]

when ur eating food and your pet starts being nice

[jjabramsed-deactivated20120618]

I brought my little brother Spencer as my date and when I told him I was nominated for this [Hot & Funny] award, he told me that if under any circumstances I won, I had to say the following things.  

[bblackbirdd-deactivated20130331]

being related to a celebrity: YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT

[luna-ragnarsdottir]

OMG WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AT THE END I JUST