keep your head up my love

✿ Marley Rose ✿Eighteen. Reefside High Alumni.Singer. Songwriter. Ranger Ally.I seek knowledge, truth, and the next best recipe for homemade cookie bars. Cats and flowers and Julie Andrews never fail to make me smile.I love to sing and write my own music.I also love Finn Hudson. ❤I'm not sure where I'm going but I know where I've been, and things can only go up from here.

[morphin-s-kalavaar]

Let’s just hope you never have to meet her. Yes, she is the daughter my father always wanted. I completely understand that feeling. Not wanting to be around anyone. Everyone giving you some kind of look. It doesn’t help thing. Though I must ask even if you feel like this now it doesn’t mean it wont change. So, please let me deal with the witch who must not be named. For now any way.

You have been through a lot. Right now you are dealing with so many emotions. That it is find to be a ‘crappy’ friend. Yet, you really aren’t being one. Even though it feels that way. Everyone understands that you are trying to deal with this, and when you are ready. You’ll start letting us in again. Yes, I do know what you mean. So, focus on yourself. You are right your mother would have done anything to save you. No, she didn’t know what was going on with you. Even if she did know. I don’t think it would have changed anything. You mother did deserve that. But, if you would have stayed home. I hate to think what would have happened. Knowing Kayden… she would have probably tormented you, or worse. She got to train with my father. And we all know how sick minded he is. I would it if someone could make her look like a dumb-ass. It’s ok… you can call her whatever you want to. I believe so. It is hard to look on the brighter side of things. With the  way things go around here. It feels like we’ll never get to be truly happy. I hate to say this. But, with our track recorded thing will get worse. But, we are survives… and will make sure that everyone gets to find happiness. We have to put an end to my father and his army. I just wish that none of you had to deal with any of this. You shouldn't have to. It should be my fight.

Would you like me to come, or do you want me to keep an eye on Liam? You can stop by whenever you want to. Don’t forget if you need me you can use our mind link. 

[morphin-marley]

That just means you’re the daughter he never deserved to have in the first place. Honestly I have no energy to go looking for her, whoever she is. My hands are full with whatever we’re currently doing to try to help Liam. And I still have to figure out the last of mother’s ‘assets’, and what’s left of the house, and everything else that seems to come with someone dying. She’d have to be dancing on the ashes of our old house for me to even bother.

I’m trying. I don’t want to be the crappy friend. I just want to be useful. At the very least, my being there could’ve created a diversion so that she could’ve had a chance to get out alive. I could have come home earlier. Just a little bit earlier. I know it’s too late and there’s no point in trying to fix time or reverse what happened, but I can’t stop my mind from coming up with all of these what ifs. There’s just so many things I could’ve done differently. So many things I could have told her when I had the chance, things I could’ve shared, and never did. I don’t get to fix any of that or take it back. I think that feels worse than wishing I could’ve saved her and facing the fact that I couldn’t. If Devone has it his way, no one will ever be happy. I don’t think the Rangers will stand for that though. You shouldn’t have to fight him alone. You won’t have to. Whether they’ve warmed up to you and trust you yet or not, the Rangers are fighting on the same side as you. They want him gone just as much as you do. I want him gone just as much as you do. So long as we all share that in common, you have people on your side.

I think Liam has enough people tracking his every move. I’ll come to you. Carter’s house still seems to be safe through all of this. And I can’t imagine that Kayden would be idiotic enough to show her face around there.

[morphin-lynn-blog]

Yeah, it’s all water under the bridge now, I guess. Not much we can do about it. Oh! That’s good! That means I’m blending in well! No, Marley. This isn’t one of those I had it worse deals. I know how it feels to lose your home and I know no matter on what level–planet or otherwise, how tough it is. Good! We can go diner hopping and find the best pie in all of Reefside or something! Or we could go see a really bad movie and then remake it using just ourselves and a sock! Or something else, you can pick. I have no idea how to work a whip, but I did learn how to use a variety of other weapons, so it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out!

[morphin-marley]

I don’t see why you were worried about blending in. I mean, you’re no different than Finn and Sam, and most of the other guys around here, actually. How did you deal with it? All of that loss? My mom was my whole world but I can’t imagine literally losing my whole planet and somehow coming out of it being better for wear. Hayley would probably insist that she’s got the best pie, but there’s no fun in only hopping to one diner. Brittany might know a few places so I’ll have to ask her. But all of that sounds fun. I say bring it all on. Whips and everything, but only after we’ve made sure you know how to use one. I really don’t want to have to explain to the people in the ER how you managed to lose an eyeball.

[morphin-puck-blog]

I’m sure you wouldn’t be a burden, Marls. You’re his girlfriend, he’ll wanna make sure you’re okay and take care of you. Just do what’s best for you, I guess.

He probably did, the little idiot. Don’t worry, Marley. I’ll make sure he pays for what he’s done.

[morphin-marley]

I know. I’m just not me right now. But thanks. I think things are going to be fine now.

Look, I know a lot of you guys want nothing more than to make him pay for all the trouble he’s causing, but he’s still Finn’s cousin. That means that before any of you guys go off setting his face on fire or beating the sense back into him, all of the other logical options for breaking whatever hold Devone has on him need to be exhausted first. He used to be a good guy and while it’s extremely easy to believe that he’s just downright evil, I think we all know deep down that’s not true. We have to do what we can to help him.

[morphin-finn]

Of course I do. Your mom was an amazing person, and I want to be there for you too. There’s nothing you could have done, Marley. If you were there, we might have lost you too. It’s okay if you’re mad at him. I won’t be upset at you for it or anything. You have enough going on already, and you shouldn’t have to worry about more. I’m going to talk to Syria. I think she’ll understand and want to help me and stuff. I wish there was a way that we could really help you too.

[morphin-marley]

Thanks, Finn. You’re a pretty amazing person too, you know. That doesn’t stop me from thinking maybe there could have been something. I’m not stupid enough to try talking Syria into building me a time machine though. I know too well now what happens when you mess with that. But enough of that. I mean it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore when we have something here that we can still fix. If you find out anything from Syria, then let me know. I don’t have a lot to offer right now, but I’ll do whatever you guys need me to.

[morphin-brittany-blog]

Has anyone seen Sam?

I let him out to go pee, but he never came back. He always comes back. We have a safe spot and everything, but I looked everywhere and I can’t find him. I know he’s been desperate for a vacation ever since Lord Tubbington put those bees in his water after beating him at poker, but he’d never run away without begging first. He didn’t even get his treat.

[morphin-marley]

Have you checked the backyard fence for any loose boards? Holes in the ground? Maybe he just got a little adventurous and took a stroll too far away from the house.

If you need help looking around the neighborhood, I can tag along.

[morphin-marley]

Convo → Barley

[morphin-brittany-blog]

What are you saying? That your house is gone, and your mom– Mrs. Rose is… 

I can’t believe this is happening again. It was so hard the first time when it was Quinn, but then we fixed it, and everything was better. Now we can’t, and I’m so sorry, Marley. We have all these powers but we can’t fix the most important things. It isn’t fair.  I can take you if you still want to find out. You could use a smile.

[morphin-marley]

If time travel is anything like Syria once tried to explain to me, then it wouldn’t make a difference to try it anyway. Too many things could go wrong. Or go worse. It’s better that we leave it alone and not give Devone any reasons to make a new future worse than it already is. It’s not your fault, or anyone’s powers’ faults. It’s just... the wheel of the world, or whatever the song says.

I guess it wouldn’t hurt to find out.

[morphin-tana]

Oh please like it wouldn’t give you some real satisfaction to watch him get his face smashed against different kinds of surfaces for the scientific purposes.

They’re good people. A bit too cheery and Broadway dream filled for my taste, but they’ve been better parents than my donors could ever be.  

[morphin-marley]

Maybe right now it would, but when he got his right state of mind back, I would feel horrible. I’m literally incapable of escaping guilt so it’s probably best if I leave any payback punches thrown to the experts - namely, you and Puck.

I figured as much. No one could be that well-versed in the world of musical theatre without it being in their DNA somewhere. It’s pretty cool that they let you stay with them though. I guess your ‘donors’ haven’t really had much to say then?

[theelisebennett-blog]

Well I’m here too if you need a place to stay.  My place is big enough. Of course I’ll be there. You’re my best friend.

[morphin-marley]

Thanks, Quinn. I feel like I don’t say this enough anymore, but I’m really glad you’re my best friend.

[morphin-rachel]

I’ve been wracking my brain for the right words to say to you but that seems to be an impossible task. I want you to know that I’m here for you, Marley, as are all of the others, and that I’m so sorry for your loss. 

[morphin-marley]

Thanks, Rachel. I know I haven’t shown it much at all, but I appreciate everyone’s support the last few weeks. I really do.

Have we made any headway with this Green Warrior situation? All I seem to be hearing about are ways to maim or otherwise injure him, but no long-term solutions. Surely if we could bring two other people back from Devone’s clutches, we can do the same for him.

[morphinliam-blog]

For those that don’t know,

[morphinliam-blog]

With Devone, you should know better than anyone that it could always, always be worse. With Kayden around, consider that risk doubled. None of what I said was a threat. Consider it more of a warning that your bite better be as strong as your bark is. Especially if you don’t want that light of yours snubbed out like it easily could be.

[morphin-marley]

Don’t underestimate me. And let me do us both a favor by ending this conversation because I don’t need anymore reasons to lash out at you when so many people seem intent on doing so without my helping.

[morphin-marley]

JOURNAL LOG || 048

I never realized how much there is to take care of and worry about when someone dies. I thought having to face Mom being gone and our house as well was bad enough, but then all of the real craziness began - insurance claims on the house fire and all of the property damage, having to figure out just how much stuff we had and what was lost, getting police reports... and this wasn’t even nearly as tedious as sitting through her will.

Gram’s really upset (angry, more than sad) that Mom didn’t write her or Grandpa into her will. I don’t know if maybe it’s just because of how things over the last few years have been or what, but she left pretty much everything to me in the event that something happened. Which seemed rather pointless to me since we already lost a house that we never owned in the first place, but I guess whatever insurance we had is going to cover for that. I’m not sure how they can replace things that can’t really be monetarily salvaged or replaced, but I’ve resigned myself to just focusing on the memorial service we’re having for her tomorrow. Anything else can wait.

This whole situation with Liam can’t wait though. He revealed himself to all of the Rangers, so now everyone knows who he really is. Finn’s really upset because a few of the team members want to, for lack of a better way to phrase it, kick his ass to set him straight, and he’s worried that something worse is going to happen to his cousin before we can figure out a way to fix him. Like kill him. Or burn off his face, like Santana so eloquently suggested. I’m trying to keep out of things for the most part because I’m still vacillating between wanting nothing to do with Liam and wanting to throw things at him. Really I just want to throw things in general these days, but all of his constant threats and the sarcasm bring out the worst in me. I know I’m taking things too personal to get involved, so hopefully someone comes up with a plan soon and I won’t have to be part of it.

- Marley

P.S. Grandpa thinks I should tell my dad about Mom. I don’t think he remembers that he’s in prison still, or that I haven’t seen or spoken to him since I was six. And while I’m sure telling him such important life changing news is the right thing to do, I don’t know the first thing about contacting him. I’m too stressed out and mixed up to add him to the mix. That, too, can wait.

[morphin-s-kalavaar]

I was hoping that something like this wouldn’t happen. I know how Devone is, and what he likes to do to hurt others. So, I understand why you feel that it is personal. It could be. He could  think that you are a weak link of the team, or maybe it’s Kayden trying to prove a point that no one is off limits for them. Though I am not sure Devone would have told her to do this. Devone would probably have done something like this on a huge scale. I never thought you would have been a threat to them either. You haven’t done much that would have them pissed off at you. The only one that could answer these questions is the witch herself. But, don’t go looking fro Kayden. She isn’t someone to mess with.

It is hard accepting what has happened. Then don’t be around anyone until you feel ready. Just as long as you keep in mind that you have people here that care about you. No mater how hard you try memories are forever. I really wish you didn’t have to go through this. That is not insane… trust me. I felt the same way when Carter was killed. Though I know in my heart that Carter would have done anything to make sure that it wouldn’t have been me. I know that your mother would have done anything to save you too. It would make more sense for Kayden to go after you. But, it seems that she wants to make you life hell. That girl is a psychopath. I don’t think anyone really does. Not fully at lest. At this time you will feel that you don’t what she would want you to do or say. Because, everything just hurts too much. It feels like the sun was taken away from you, and without it you don’t know how to be happy. Yet, the sun will return to you, and you’ll find ways to be happy again. 

Thank you. I can understand. Deciding what to do is very hard. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this now. Marley… you know if you need a place to escape to you can hang at Carter’s place. And if you want to be alone there just let me know. I can find was to distract myself. 

[morphin-marley]

The more that girl’s name comes up, the more I feel like throwing things. She really likes to meddle, doesn’t she? I can barely leave Dr. O and Miss Hillard’s house without feeling like I’m going to break down or have some kind of panic attack, and that was just from going to meet my grandparents at the bus station. So as much as I keep feeling like I want to punch something or someone, I don’t think that’s going to happen right now.

I know they do. I’m doing a crappy job at showing it, but I know people care. I just... well, I’m assuming you must’ve felt the same way when you went through this, so you know what I mean. I know she would’ve done everything she could to keep me safe, especially after my time in the slave camps. But that’s just it - she never had any idea what I was dealing with, what all my secrets are and what I was trying to protect her from. It doesn’t matter now because it got her hurt anyway. It got her killed, and she didn’t even deserve it. It’s my fault. I’m sure there’s something else I could’ve done to prevent it from happening. I could’ve not cursed the stars or I could’ve stayed home that night. Maybe then she’d still be alive and Kayden could’ve been proven an unworthy adversary to your father. Or at least she could’ve looked like a dumbass. Excuse my language. How does the saying go? ‘The sun also rises’? I think Hemingway penned that. I’m trying to believe that after the worst, things can only get better, but even at what feels pretty close to rock bottom, I’m terrified that things are going to get even worse.

There’s going to be a memorial service on Saturday, and then my grandparents will be heading back to Sacromento on Sunday. Maybe I can come by then.

[morphinliam-blog]

For those that don’t know,

[morphinliam-blog]

That’s just not true. You’ve got the Rangers, you’ve got Finn, you’ve got your grandparents off the top of my head. You still have more that can be lost, Marley.Tread carefully if you really don’t want to have nothing during your impossible effort of gaining everything.

Oh and when light starts to get dimmer and dimmer, you’ll find darkness takes over without hesitation. Especially when it’s burned out. Just saying.

[morphin-marley]

I’ve already told you, Liam - your threats are worthless to me. The worst that could happen to me has already happened. And the fact that you feel it necessary to continue threatening me is almost laughable. So I’ll tread however quietly or violently I wish. If you have a problem with that, go complain to someone who actually cares.

This light won’t burn out. Try all you want but it’ll be a fruitless effort.

[morphinliam-blog]

I don’t know about them not coming to that conclusion. I’m sure if you asked you’d find that faulty wiring is fairly evil on its own. 

Leaving a lot up to karma there. And here I thought you were ready to grab a weapon and run to the field. Looks like you’ve made the smart choice.

[morphin-marley]

Faulty wiring is a scapegoat. As is any other excuse they could have conjured up.

You must’ve caught me on one of my non-angry days. Lucky you.

[morphin-finn]

It’s okay. You don’t have to explain it and stuff. I’ll be here anytime you need me. I’m glad your grandparents are going to come in so you get to see some family. Yeah, I’d understand if you were as mad at Liam as the rest of the guys are. They want to like kill him and stuff, but he’s still my cousin and I can’t let them do that. I just want to have the real him back. I don’t want to dump these problems on you though. You have enough going on. I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t him, because who knows if he’d ever tell you or not.

[morphin-marley]

It’ll be nice, I hope. There’s going to be a memorial service on Saturday too, if you want to come. Mostly I’m mad at myself. I’m trying hard not to be mad at him, especially if what he said about Kayden is true, but it’s still so hard to do. I’m just... mad, about so many things, not even just him or her or Devone. I know he’s your cousin though and I know he was once good, so I’m trying. It’s okay though. I’m not the only one with problems, and this thing with Liam is a big problem. Should we bring this up to Dr. O and Miss Hillard? Or maybe Syria? I know the two of them have been getting close, so maybe she has an idea of what’s going on with him.

[morphin-lynn-blog]

Not that I’m bragging or anything, but I’m pretty good in a crisis. And hey, I kinda know what you’re going through, being another person who’s lost their home and stuff. But we don’t have to do anything sad, or talk about fond memories while we adventure. We can be like that Indiana Jones guy! Although I don’t know where we’d find a whip. 

[morphin-marley]

That’s right, you and Kitty were on Nexus as well when everything got destroyed... I guess I sometimes forget that you guys came from another planet instead of just being normal humans. And that you’ve endured worse than just losing a home or a family member. Kind of puts what I’m going through into perspective. Non-sad adventuring sounds good to me though. I do like wearing interesting hats, and occasionally striking hero-like poses for fun. There’s a costume shop downtown that sells cool stuff, I bet we could find you a whip there. Are you sure you know how to work one of those things?

[morphin-tana]

Alright let me put this in a different way, do you want in when me and Puckerman finally kick his ass and possibly set his face on fire as a revenge. Yes or yes? 

Alright good, I’d offer you my place but it kind of belongs to Berry guys. 

[morphin-marley]

As often as I’ve felt like throwing and punching things in the past few weeks, I don’t think I’m in a position to be setting Liam’s face on fire. It’s a total conflict of interest. And I’m pretty sure it would upset Finn if something happened to his cousin before we can figure out how to resolve this whole Green Warrior mess. But if you want to kick his ass in the process of trying to figure out how to help him, then be my guest. I won’t complain so long as you don’t tell Finn that I’m even remotely condoning it.

That’s okay. I have a feeling Rachel’s dads can’t be much worse than Dr. O acting super intense while trying to make things feel less tense. Except they probably sing a lot too... how is that going, by the way? Staying with the Berrys?