Hannah @mortelll-blog - Tumblr Blog

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

winchysteria

the only true ally

tohkyo

deercatcher

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leaked footage of chewbacca when kylo dies

lake-erie

one time i went to see my grandma in the hospital when she was just waking up from surgery and the first thing she said (really feebly) was “neil… what does… your shirt say” and i had to say “skate and destroy” in front of the nurse and my whole family

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andhumanslovedstories

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection

the-memedaddy

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Me in 60 years

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She is lip syncing for her motherfucking liiiiife

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i👏con👏ic👏

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Humans are awesome

alexfromawen

I say things like “I’m not interested in sports” I really have to give a caveat to explain I really mean “sportsball”, those mass media team sporting events that lead to white privilege riots and fill the pockets of millionaires and billionaires. Because this? This is incredible, just the athleticism, what bodies can do, female, male, young or adult, differently abled…just awesome.