Lean, Mean Flirting Machine (And Emperor)

Ling Yao roleplay blog

[who-you-callin]

hey uh

ling

you remember how

i said

that

if

anything happened

like

y’know

you had the best-friend prerogative to know first?

[morthafuckinemperor]

DID YOU DO IT

DID YOU GET LAID

DID YOU USE THAT ARTICLE DID YOU HAVE FUN DID YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT I BET YOU DID

MY LITTLE BOY IS ALL GROWN UP

I’M SO PROUD I’M GOING TO CRY

[who-you-callin]

holy shit ling how many questions IS that

how much caffeine have you had today be honest okay if you have a heart attack they’re going to have to hire a new emperor

eugh

Read More

[morthafuckinemperor]

I need more details

Did he put it in your butt

Were you safe did you use a condom

[who-you-callin]

hey uh

ling

you remember how

i said

that

if

anything happened

like

y’know

you had the best-friend prerogative to know first?

[morthafuckinemperor]

DID YOU DO IT

DID YOU GET LAID

DID YOU USE THAT ARTICLE DID YOU HAVE FUN DID YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT I BET YOU DID

MY LITTLE BOY IS ALL GROWN UP

I'M SO PROUD I'M GOING TO CRY

[who-you-callin]

If you could choose one element to truly represent you as a person, Ed, which element would it be? (also, do you have a favourite element? I think mercury is pretty cool myself)

this is really hard but i’m leaning towards

iron

i’m not that strong on my own but with the right additives and enough heat you can turn me into steel

also i rust if you leave me outside in the rain

haha this is a shit answer but ALL of the elements are my favorite ‘cause pretty much every single one has at least one property that’s cool as fuck

[thebastardcolonel-deactivated20]

My favorite element is oxygen, but I think you all knew that.

[who-you-callin]

oxidization joke about me turning red when you’re around

anybody

anybody

[morthafuckinemperor]

Carbon over here, which I hope comes as an obvious.

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: didn’t stop you from eating everything you saw when you were here

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Food is still food

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: I’m like that bear you had a tv show about a while ago. Yoga bear?

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: yogi bear. and yeah, i could see you stealing people picnic baskets

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Survival of the fastest eater

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: no Ling. i’ve never had fried octopus. i never thought of octopi as food. 

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: whatever i’ll try anything i guess.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Something is very wrong with your country clearly

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: didn’t stop you from eating everything you saw when you were here

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Food is still food

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: I'm like that bear you had a tv show about a while ago. Yoga bear?

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: but like….it’s cow intestine not ice cream. i don’t get it.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Have you tried fried octopus? Its sort of a similar texture to that.

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: no Ling. i’ve never had fried octopus. i never thought of octopi as food. 

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: whatever i’ll try anything i guess.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Something is very wrong with your country clearly

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: why the fuck would i want to eat cow intestine??? is that actually a thing what does it taste like???????

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Its deep fried and put in a cone and its the BEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: but like….it’s cow intestine not ice cream. i don’t get it.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Have you tried fried octopus? Its sort of a similar texture to that.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: We’ll make sure you get more than just nachos. Ill make you try all my favorite street foods too including the cow intestine ^^

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: why the fuck would i want to eat cow intestine??? is that actually a thing what does it taste like???????

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: Its deep fried and put in a cone and its the BEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: Liiiiiiiiing why are you not more useful? sigh. hey, i’ve got a month off in two weeks.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: A month you say? Well if you don’t mind waiting I could have a whole lot of nachos for you by then

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: feels kinda wrong to go to xing and eat nachos though.

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: but yeah, finally cashing in on vacation time, so i figured why the fuck not

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: We'll make sure you get more than just nachos. Ill make you try all my favorite street foods too including the cow intestine ^^

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: I’d bring you nachos except I don’t think they’d ship well sorry :(

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: Emperor Smartass]: Liiiiiiiiing why are you not more useful? sigh. hey, i’ve got a month off in two weeks.

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: A month you say? Well if you don't mind waiting I could have a whole lot of nachos for you by then

[thefullmetalelric]

[TEXT to: all contacts]: please bring me nachos. i will repay you in whatever way you want, but NACHOS FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK

[morthafuckinemperor]

[TEXT to: One Fine Booty]: I'd bring you nachos except I don't think they'd ship well sorry :(

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[thefullmetalelric]

Ed fought down the blush. “Uh…I guess. Depends on what you send.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

"Whatever you like!" Ling exclaims. "Plugs, lingerie, more dildos, vibrators, whatever tickles your fancybone." He pauses. "That is the phrase, right? Tickles your fancybone?"

[thefullmetalelric]

Oh, god. Ed buries his face in the sheets for a moment because he doesn’t even know what he would do with half that stuff. But then he snorts and shakes his head, looking up. “No, it’s not. It’s…well, that minus the bone part. Fancybone sounds like a weird euphemism.” 

[morthafuckinemperor]

"Oh." Ling blinks. "Fancybone makes more sense, though, doesn't it? Fancy is an adjective. How can you tickle an adjective?" He combs some fingers through his hair. "Anyway, do any of those sound fun to you?"

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[thefullmetalelric]

"Well, whatever. You love me anyway, so too bad. I didn’t have time to think about fun shit back then." He bit his lip. "I’ve got more time now. Clearly.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling hugs a pillow and smiles mischievously. “If I send you more sex toys, will you use them?”

[thefullmetalelric]

Ed fought down the blush. “Uh…I guess. Depends on what you send.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

"Whatever you like!" Ling exclaims. "Plugs, lingerie, more dildos, vibrators, whatever tickles your fancybone." He pauses. "That is the phrase, right? Tickles your fancybone?"

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[thefullmetalelric]

“No, I didn’t!” Ed insists. “I mean, I wasn’t even thinking about stuff like that, then. Like, at all. Leather’s just more durable than other stuff. Just because you were getting off on me wearing leather doesn’t mean I was a deviant.” 

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling pouts. “That’s so boring. You’re so boring.”

[thefullmetalelric]

"Well, whatever. You love me anyway, so too bad. I didn’t have time to think about fun shit back then." He bit his lip. "I’ve got more time now. Clearly.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling hugs a pillow and smiles mischievously. "If I send you more sex toys, will you use them?"

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[thefullmetalelric]

Ed huffs. “Shut up! That’s not what those were for. They were practical! For fighting and shit. Which I was doing. A lot.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

"But you had to get off on the feel and smell of leather at least a little.”

[thefullmetalelric]

“No, I didn’t!” Ed insists. “I mean, I wasn’t even thinking about stuff like that, then. Like, at all. Leather’s just more durable than other stuff. Just because you were getting off on me wearing leather doesn’t mean I was a deviant.” 

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling pouts. "That's so boring. You're so boring."

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling snorts, and then starts laughing in a way that can only be described as a cackle. “You weren’t a deviant before you met me, really?” he chortles. “Mr. Leather Pants.”

[thefullmetalelric]

Ed huffs. “Shut up! That’s not what those were for. They were practical! For fighting and shit. Which I was doing. A lot.”

[morthafuckinemperor]

"But you had to get off on the feel and smell of leather at least a little."

[thefullmetalelric]

"I miss you." ((We haven't rped but I know you like EdLing and I finally have some free time in my life so what do you say??))

"Yeah? Me or my wallet?" 

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling shrugs. “Yue would probably leap at the opportunity to peg me on camera.” He goes bright red and fiddles with his hair, combing out imagined knots instead of looking at Ed. “I just thought, since I got to watch you…”

[thefullmetalelric]

Fuck. That shouldn’t sound so appealing, but it really, really does. “Goddammit, Ling. I was never a deviant before I met you.” And this whole this is about trying new things and all that, and being close with Ling. “Okay.” 

[morthafuckinemperor]

Ling snorts, and then starts laughing in a way that can only be described as a cackle. "You weren't a deviant before you met me, really?" he chortles. "Mr. Leather Pants."