showed this tweet today to @ohblushes and @anotherashley and obviously we had Many Thoughts on this:
- jonny owns both the sex shop and the landscaping shop. patrick owns the crematorium across the street because he looks sad and dresses in black all day and it fits his skillset
- jonny’s landscaping shop is named “bush & seed”. the sex shop is named “garden of earthly delights”
- patrick is vaguely scandalised by the sex shop but also?? maybe?? curious?? and he has no idea the hot landscaper across the street, the one who’s always in tank tops and has enormous biceps, owns it. and he eventually makes friends with jonny but still has no idea of the management of the sex shop
- patrick goes in one day and is greeted by the hot landscaper who waves at him from behind the counter and yells HEY PATRICK
- randomly grabs the closest thing to him which happens to be a tub of boy butter (yes it’s a real lube) and tries to play it super cool like ha ha, love this, it’s my favourite, holding this giant tub of boy butter
- patrick probably bolts that first time to the sounds of jonny yelling BYE PATRICK! COME BACK ON FRIDAY! WE HAVE 10% OFF EVERYTHING ON FRIDAYS!
- patrick comes back on friday
- he’s quietly browsing the shop’s extensive collection of dildos when jonny offers to help
- jonny asks a lot of questions that make patrick squirm, like “are you experienced at using these or are you new to them?” “do you prefer large dildos or would you like a smaller one that’s maybe easier to use?”
- patrick wets his lips and blinks up at jonny and quietly asks for the largest one jonny has in the shop
- jonny’s like “DONE”, shuts down his shop in 30 seconds, and ushers patrick out of the door
- patrick: um, but I asked for - ?
- jonny: you asked for the largest one in the shop and i’m going to give it to you
- patrick, very quiet: oh
