DREAMS.

Something magical has happened to me: like a dream when one feels frightened and creepy, and suddenly wakes up to the knowledge that no such terrors exist. I have wakened up.

[moskows]

Last night I had a few dreams bc Misha kept waking me up but after being up from 5-6am, I fell back asleep and dreamed that I accepted a secretarial position at a very rich school for rich kids. I took like an uber or some sort of car service there, even tho I've never done that before in my life. It was a long drive and we circled the school grounds 3 times because the driver couldn't find the entrance and I think at that point I was the only person in a bus or something bc I had to honk to get her to stop, which makes no sense but whatever. I ended up being ten minutes late to my interview, which was not an interview it was my first day of work. I was shown to my completely empty office (no furniture) by Barack Obama for no reason at all and there was a little hole in one wall where I could see a kitty cat paw and I got very excited but it turned out the cat was in another office and I couldn't pet him so Obama showed me the grounds instead. At one point on our tour he told me that the celebrity parents were his least favorite bc anytime there was an issue they'd always threaten to go public with it and hurt the school's reputation. There was some kind of weird scavenger hunt at some point, like I did zero actual clerical work in this dream. There was snow on the ground outside and we were all wearing winter coats. For some reason I was wearing a lot of red in my outfit. At one point I went to this little hut that was like my home or something and I lit a fire (skyrim style, which is hilarious) and then all of my back molars started to fall out until i only had just my front teeth left. at one point my parents pulled up in a car and i'm trying to show my mother all my missing teeth and she's looking everywhere BUT my open mouth and at some other point, one of the school administrators tells me that my father has already come to school FIVE TIMES today to walk around campus. She was cool about it but I was like OH NO and just clarified that he really likes to take walks and he's very supportive of me. Then I think I woke up.

[moskows]

Last night I dreamt about characters my brain generated. I don't know their names but basically there was this guy who was fairly well off and his female servant i think who was also an ai android who was in love with the guy but would never say anything. Anyways, they are transported to an alternate timeline in which they did get together and at this point in the other timeline, they are bitterly divorced and hate each other. They were watching themselves argue with one another, deliberately trying to hurt the other by discussing their infidelities and dissatisfaction with the relationship.

The man was I think shocked because he hadn't considered a romantic relationship, or if he had, he hadn't considered how far that idea might go. While I wasn't interacting with the characters in the dream, I was observing this all as a third party, and when they were transported, I was transported with them into their AU home. I didn't know where we were and I was tentatively opening doors and wandering around their gorgeous home being simultaneously impressed by how lovely it was and afraid that I was an accidental home intruder, but they couldn't see me I don't think.

In the end, the woman wouldn't speak to the man, and he didn't understand why until a third party explained to him that she was in love with him and knew that he would never be with her now that he had seen this version of history play out. But he did. He went to her and told her they didn't have to be these people.

I had other dreams about scaling these tall buildings and exploring places my dream took me that I didn't know where I was. I think this lead into my other dream. Before I woke up, I dreamed that I was walking outside and someone had this black dog and other things were going on like the dog was somehow sedated because he was anxious about me, and this person disappeared and I was alone with the sleepy dog and other things were happening that I can't remember (at one point i was in a dream expanded version of my childhood neighborhood), but anyways I remember thinking I guess I have three dogs now and I'll need another leash.

[moskows]

I’ve been having stress dreams lately. I dreamt everyone at school was mad at me the night before I went to clean out my classroom. Then I don’t remember what I dreamt the night after, but it wasn’t bad. Last night I had another serial killer dream, but I didn’t write it down in time and I’ve forgotten. 

[moskows]

So my sister’s best friend got married yesterday, but the day before, I dreamt that I slept with her fiance (whom I have not met and who turned out to look nothing like her real fiance) the day before their wedding. I don’t remember much past that. 

I’ve also been having these really bizarre dreams where I’m in some kind of place like maybe a weird dream version of the YMCA because there are these really big public showers that are covered in ceramic tiles and there are tiny shower cubicles for people to shower in, and I never feel lost when I’m having these dreams, but I’m looking for someone or something, there is some sense of urgency to it. The other night I found my husband in the dream (a dream generated husband) and he had Rafi with him. Usually, when I find my husband in a dream, he is Glenn Rhee, but this time he was like some off brand Asian guy (but he was very nice and dream me didn’t know the difference). 

[moskows]

Last night I had this dream where I fell totally in love with this woman I knew. I think we were friends first or something (or maybe she was my boss or supervisor??), but the whole dream was basically me just falling in love with this woman and developing a romantic and sexual relationship with her. And then I couldn't find her, and as the distress of that started to kick in, I woke up and realized she didn't exist in real life, or if she does I don't know her. It's more likely my brain generated her. I don't know. 

All I remember of her is her hair (blonde and soft) and a bit of her build kind of, but more solidly her confidence with me. The way she took charge and the way her solidly maintained eye contact didn't make me feel uncomfortable and anxious but safe and sure and something I can't even really identify, some level of intensity I haven't experienced in a very very long time. 

[moskows]

I tried to get some sleep this evening after I was woken up after only 5hrs of sleeping and it was heavily interrupted by an inordinate amount of cat noise???? Idk but anyways when the sun started to set, my dreams themselves started getting darker, to the point where I couldn't see anybody and I don't remember a lot but I do remember I had a dream where I was trying to find my friend in the dark but I couldn't. She was talking to me, I think, but I can't remember what was said. I just remember waking up to cats fighting outside and being mildly alarmed. It was creepy. 

[moskows]

I just dreamed about my ex fiance. We were sitting at a computer desk and I was straddling his lap and I looked at him and he looked at me and I kissed him and I pulled away and was like "man, don't ask me, I don't know" and then we went back to kissing. Then my parents came in?? So we stopped and kind of just sat there, but it was like they couldn't see us, or they were unaware that I was sitting on his lap or something? They were concerned with some program on the computer????

When they left we started making out and grinding on each other a bit but then it wasn't a home office or something it was like... a weird version of my club's dressing room and a bunch of my coworkers were there and I stood up to talk to them and one of them told me that an acquaintance of mine stopped dancing because she got a new boyfriend and he didn't want her to dance anymore and I remember thinking how stupid that was and then I looked back at Mickey and I woke up. 

[moskows]

Murderous Investigations

I think I just had probably the worst nightmare of my life. 

It started out as the weirdest lesbian sex dream I have ever had, but I don't even really remember that part too well because it stopped almost as quickly as it started and then quickly became something totally unrelated. 

My mother and I were looking into my friend's murder and we found where he'd been killed and I was just so devastated I went to call our mutual friend, but I accidentally called someone who used to be friends with us (but turned out to be a shit friend) and I was telling him how he was dead and that the cops think it was because he did porn???? (Which to my knowledge he has not done in real life.)

Anyways, while we're milling around this blood-soaked crime scene, when the killer shows up! Idk if he was like, coming back to clean up a bit or if he was following us or what, but he's this HUGE hulking guy and my mother and I are trying everything to knock him unconscious or something (I even tried repeatedly kicking him in the balls but it had literally zero effect on the guy) but it's not working until all of the sudden someone hits him in the face with a tire iron and he's down for the count. I think it turned out to be my sister or something??? But not any of my irl sisters, I'm not sure and I also have no idea where she got the tire iron from. Regardless, we tie the guy up in the next room on top of one of those weird dentist exam chairs?? And it turns out that his girlfriend was his partner and so we have to take her out too. 

The killer wakes up and there's dialogue but I can't remember what was said. More importantly, while we were talking they managed to untie themselves and so I call into the next room for help but there's no answer from my family, so I run back into the crime scene room and it's empty and the door is gone. I panic as the killers follow me into the room, amused at my fear, and I see a large window on the far wall. So I went through the glass and suddenly I'm in a fenced-in yard. 

I can see an old lady neighbor hanging laundry in the next yard over and I don't want to endanger her but there's nowhere else for me to run, so I leap the fence. But then I realize that the fence is too high for Gabby to jump, so I tear it down behind me and then Gabby, who is now a great dane, is suddenly here and following me in the chase. 

We're running through yards and leaping over fences and I have no idea where my family is, but suddenly the killer's girlfriend is in the yard in front of me with an uzi and is shooting up the backside of some building. She has shoved another neighbor woman to one side, but she hasn't seen me yet so I decide I'm going to jump her from behind. At the last minute, she turns around and sees me and starts to shoot, but I'm already on her, so I take a bullet to the side of my torso and then I turn the gun around on her while she's still firing and she inadvertently kills herself. 

At this point my family shows up in the yard with a van and they're like "Get in!" so I do. My "sister" is proud that I got shot because I think she has some sort of violent or military background since she's comparing my recent gunshot wound with her scars and some shrapnel still in her abdomen????? Anyways the car stops because we see some great danes milling around in the yard that I started in and I get out of the van to see what they're drinking. And there's the one that I thought was Gabby earlier and it's there with two other great danes and a duck and they're all lapping at this sizable puddle of blood in the middle of this sunken mushy ground that's gross to walk through and that's when I see it, next to the puddle of blood, Gabby's decapitated head. And I realize that it's her blood and the killer murdered her and took her body as revenge for me killing his girlfriend. 

I was so beyond distraught that I woke myself up from the dream (an hour early) and I was covered in sweat and had to snuggle Gabby for like fifteen minutes before I felt like it was okay to get out of bed. 

[moskows]

Petnapping!

Last night I dreamed that I was sitting in a truck with my younger sister, Courtney, talking. We were parked by the side of the road next to a large field which Misha (my cat baby) and Gabby (my dog baby) were playing together in (which in retrospect is strange because Misha is an indoor cat, I digress). 

Courtney and I had gone to school that day in a fog, almost as if we were on drugs. It was impossible to do anything and we had been sent home together early. She was more upset about this than I was, on the verge of tears. So I told her it was going to be fine, and we could go watch Frozen and get some ice cream. And she smiled and said that sounded really nice and then started to drive away. 

I screamed at her to stop the car but she didn't listen at first and by the time she did, I had to run quite a ways to get back to Misha and Gabby. By the time I got there, there were other people in the field, too, and I realized that they were there to take Misha and Gabby. I tried to tell them that they were mine, but the people didn't care, they were going to take them anyways. So I ran up to the man who was carrying Gabby and I punched him in the throat, and I was going to kick him in the balls, too, but then I woke up. 

I'm still pretty distraught over the whole dream, and I keep telling myself that I went for Gabby first because Misha can fight for himself. Just yesterday I picked him up when he didn't want to be and he scratched me pretty badly, so I'm confident dream-Misha would have escaped. 

[moskows]

Religious Boyfriend & Tiny Car

Last night I had three dreams. The first I don't remember that well, it had to do with my mother and was upsetting to me, but that's all I can really tell you. In the second dream I am living with a dream-generated boyfriend and his son in a weird version of what dream-me assumed to be Tallahassee but in retrospect looks nothing like it. My dream boyfriend is gorgeous, pale with angular features and long blonde hair that varies in length throughout the dream but is never shorter than his elbows. The real me worries about what's wrong with him, but he's in love with dream-me and we're sitting down to have a serious talk. I'm guessing I had only just moved in or something because the conversation was about the fact that he goes to church every day and I wanted to make sure he wouldn't be upset if I only went with him on occasion. He smiled and said of course and that it was fine. The dream had nothing to do with his son, but I remember him as having a son who lived with us. He was cute and blonde, too. 

Then I woke up at the time I usually wake up but I was so tired I let myself go back to sleep for an hour. In this hour I had a crappy dream. I dreamed that I was driving a car - only this car was tiny and more like a cross between a motorcyle/scooter and one of those plastic cars with a hollow bottom you give to small children so that they can push themselves around in it with their feet. It was TINY and mostly open on either side. Anyways, I was trying to drive across town to reach the ocean, I wanted to see the ocean. But there was this highway that bisected the city and somehow I was forced onto the highway and suddenly I didn't know where I was going or how to get off. Luckily, traffic put us all at a dead stop and so I was able to get out of my car and ask a passerby for help. He said that there was no way to turn around on the highway itself and that I would have to just get off at an exit and get on going the other way. Gabby was with me and I was having a hard time fitting her in the car with me and she wasn't listening and I was at this point terrified that she would be hit by a car, but I finally get us back to my weird tiny car and I find a note in it from an unknown stalker who wants to harm my wife, who I apparently had all along and is a motocross rider or something??? And I secretly suspect the stalker is her father for some reason but I can't get through to her and that's when I woke up a second time. 

[moskows]

A Bathroom Scuffle

Last night I dreamed I was walking around inside various buildings that I didn't really know my way around. I was holding a booklet of Barbie hairstyles, some of which look like they came right out of 18th century France??? Eventually I realize I have to go to the bathroom, so I go in search of one, and when I eventually find one, it is an immense room lined with toilets. They are not in stalls and are uncomfortably close together, like they really packed these toilets in here. Even though the room was empty when I entered it and I closed and locked the door behind me, I am attacked by someone. I can't see them very well at all, they are all a black blur to me in retrospect. During the fight, I am overly concerned with the booklet I am holding. I woke up around then, I'm not sure how the dream really ended or if that's it and I'm remembering the end accurately. When I woke up, I really had to pee lol. 

[moskows]

A Borderline Freudian Affair

I had an especially disturbing dream night before last. I dreamed that one of my best friends from high school's father wanted to fuck me so badly that he was offering money to me to do it. Only, in the dream he looked nothing like her father irl, he was some brain generated man that I was not at all sexually attracted to, who occasionally bore physical traits reminding me of my own father (super creepy). We also weren't in their irl home, I was in some brain generated mansion, in his bedroom, in various states of undress, tempting him and teasing him, and I'm so incredibly horny that I'm tempted to actually do it, despite the fact that I'm not into him, it would be amoral and creepy and weird on so many levels, etc. The weird thing is that in high school this friend's dad DID have an affair, online with some woman I think. But his wife (my friend's mother) forgave him and they stayed together. Throughout the dream I am intensely conflicted about hurting his wife (she's such a lovely woman), and at the end of the dream she comes home, we hear her arrival, and I wake up. I was so weirded out by the dream that I couldn't even blog about it until today. 

[moskows]

Snake & Assembly

A lot of my dream from last night is missing. I remember that there were two men involved, one was played by Alexander Skarsgard and the other was a guy with long-ish hair and facial stubble, not particularly attractive, and something was going on that they were hurriedly getting ready for (at one point text at the bottom of the "screen" said that Alexander Skarsgard had picked the music track for this scene??? It was weird Swedish techno kind of???) and they ended up in the other guy's apartment for the confrontation. The apartment was full of art, mostly staged on easels. I was watching them interact, but I only became aware that I was present with them when I realized that there was a giant snake about to eat me. So I stepped a few steps away and the snake ate the guy instead and that was the end of the dream. 

Then I dreamed I was sitting at some kind of assembly, perhaps for church or something? I remember things were going on, but I don't remember what they were. I just remember the woman I was sitting next to. She was a large black woman who was incensed that her advertisement that she had modeled in for a cosmetics company had been edited with text calling her "rude" or something, and it upset her. She sang at one point, and she had a really nice voice. 

[moskows]

zombie-dreams → moskows

[moskows]

High School & Haunted Dolls

I haven't been writing down my dreams lately because they're more often nightmare than random series of events. I mean, I did recently have a dream where I was seeking a pet eel and found one online from some woman who didn't want hers anymore and we ended up at this weird aquarium... not the point. 

Mostly I've been having nightmares and not writing them down because I don't want to think about them. But today I woke up from probably the worst yet, covered in sweat and very freaked out. 

I started out in this high school, I've been there in my dreams before but it's always this huge multi-level building almost like a shopping mall, but still obviously a high school. Typically the dreams that I have in this school revolve around me being unable to find my classes, getting completely lost, missing a schedule and not remembering where I'm supposed to be, discovering halfway through the school year that there were classes I was supposed to be attending that I was unaware of, etc. 

But this time I was walking around rather careless, I was wearing a pair of pink bedroom slippers and eventually I was with Sara (although at first I was alone and thinking that I should call Tyler and tell him I was back in high school??). She was giving me directions at one point, we ended up in the cafeteria and I was trying to climb these weird things to get to the second floor mezzanine but it wasn't working and then a school worker came over and we were like "crap we're supposed to be in class" but he didn't bust us, despite Sara launching into a panicked diatribe about how he had the power to. They ended up discussing debugging her computer program project?? Idk. 

Also in this dream Sara for some reason had a house in Texas and she kept telling me I should go there with her and then show up at Tyler's house so that I could at least meet him and I was like "no.... idk...." (obv this is very unrealistic for many reasons but it was in the dream okay?)

The dream shifted back and forth between the giant high school setting and plotline and a much darker one involving dolls (that suspiciously resembled american girl dolls) being possessed by the souls of murdered children?? I'm assuming, in the dream it's more like the dolls kind of ARE the children but now I'm post-dream rationalizing. And some of them could speak (their mouths didn't move though) and at one point this investigator or something (some guy idk) had a doll on a coroner's slab and the doll was playing the recorded or somehow otherwise disembodied voice of a little girl who was crying and in pain and it was just sooooo fucking creepy and the guy hands me this electrical plug (presumably to the doll????) and is like "she's talking to you" or something and looked straiiiight at me, which was scary because in the dream i wasn't first person until just then so it was like watching tv and then suddenly being in the tv (I can't think of a better metaphor than that) and so I flipped out and gave that plug straight back to the man and slapped him on his face like "oh hell no you did NOT just hand me the plug to a haunted doll" which sounds funny now but at the time I was fucking terrified (I'm not normally afraid of dolls but they could move and voices came out of them and they were fucking scary okay??)

Anyways, in another scene we're in this small building like a schoolhouse or a small church or something and there's like a 3 step platform like for a choir or for people to sit at or something but instead there's just 3 rows of these haunted fucking dolls and like, one of them moves and I think I was talking to them?? Idk

Also there was a newborn baby involved somehow and one of the investigators that was with me was like almost always holding this newborn baby for some reason.

Oh and there was a point when I was looking at some piece of evidence, that was some kind of precious rock or stone or something in one of those satin drawstring bags and there was a note in there and I was getting really scared in the dream by this time so all of the sudden there was a bunch of comic sans tumblr commentary on the creepy note and I busted out laughing. 

Aaaand that's all I remember. 

The dream kind of reminds me of that one episode of Bones where the exterminator pedophile poisons that little boy and then hides his body in the toy warehouse in a life-size-doll box. 

[moskows]

I had this horrible dream that I had this (brain generate) ex boyfriend who for some reason was raising our child and he told me over the phone he was raising our child Christian and not giving her a choice and I was really upset. 

I think before that I had this super bizarre dream where Courtney and I were in this weird town trying to solve a mystery and at one point we were being chased. 

[moskows]

Erica

I don't remember much of my dream last night. I was really exhausted from the cat waking me up repeatedly the last few nights, so I put him in a crate and took my anxiety meds and went to bed 3 hours earlier than usual. I slept 12 hours and all I can remember is that I dreamt Erica forgave me and she hugged me really tightly and we cried.