you lost the game

name | age | sexual orientation | pronouns | living on the traditional, ancestral, unceded, and reclaimed land of the Jewish people.

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[shamebats]

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

[shamebats]

You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed

[shamebats]

Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical

[the-haiku-bot]

Someone on reddit

already suggested a

sapphibbatical

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mechanica1-hands]

how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit

[shamebats]

"become a fish" (gay)

[ladyananas]

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

[helpless--romantics]

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!

I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.

[emilynyaaa]

this is an insane story

[flickering-leaves]

“Some men never return”

Helpppppp 😭

[sleepychipmunk]

that’s just the beauty of the gaycation

[theehorsepusssy]

[brbjellyfishing]

[secret-aardvark]

The corporate version of “hey OP what the FUCK does this mean”

[porkbuttsandtaters]

tumblr media criticism

[afurioushawk]

[fromchaostocosmos]

Don't worry everyone they are in great company

and it all makes sense because wikipedia thankfully explains it via a footnote:

No, but seriously the footnotes are ridiculous and wild.

[slyandthefamilybook]

Counting the fucking Crusaders among the indigenous peoples like the Jews and Jebusites and not as an invading colonial force like the Babylonians is one of those things that's so stupid it's more confusing than aggravating. like what the fuck are you talking about

[jewishgay4il]

well. see. this entire list is what the fuck are you talking about

[hyperpotamianarch]

#i consider myself the queen of the moon. thanks

Thank you, Jewishgay4il! Now I can have a nickname for you that'll be easier to say on the regular: Jewishgay4il, Queen Regnant of the Moon. Queen of the Moon for short.

Anyway, yeah, this is ridiculous.

After checking, they actually edited this! The talk page is mentioning "Canvassing on x" of the topic, which I'm guessing means exerting pressure over Social Media. The talk started four days ago, it may have only concluded recently. I don't think they're aware it reached Tumblr.

[hyperpotamianarch]

Update: well. There's actually an ongoing argument over there, the longer version might resume.

I'm not a confirmed editor on the English Wikipedia and thus can't have a voice in this conversation. As a matter of fact, talking about it on a Social Media site is probably also disqualifying.

I have no idea where this is going and it's troubling. I mean, I know Wikipedia has been called bias for a while now. I don't see any usefulness in making a list of "people who identify as Palestinians or were born in the area called Palestine unless they're Israelis and without regard to whether the area was called Palestine when they lived", but it seems that a bunch of people think this is a logical list to make. Go figure.

[weemietime]

But sure, everybody rely on Wikipedia for a source about Zionism and Judaism lmao. Even in their stupid little "source" they're like "yeah Palestinians are some magical non-Jew, non-Arab third thing that we still didn't identify." What's the name of that group? What's their language?

What's their culture? What the fuck are you talking about? Canaanite died hundreds of years before Arabic was spoken. Hebrew existed before Arabic. Why do Palestinians speak Arabic if they're indigenous? What was their original language?

Since apparently they're an original indigenous group? What group is it? What is it called? Name it for me. Show me relics from these people, show me historical sites from these people. Bonus points if it isn't just like, built on top of a synagogue lmao.

I mean even in that shitty source they say they're descended from Jews and Christians. So you mean not a secret third thing? Like yeah they're descended from Christians, they are a splinter group that left and underwent ethnogenesis dumbass and became Arab. In the Paran desert. Not in Israel.

[letterful]

[its-not-a-pen]

first day as a small-town sherif and you discover that some of the convicts you're transporting managed to escape in the night and since the penalty for letting prisoners escape is death, and the penalty for being late because you were looking for escaped prisoners is also death, you decide to free ALL of them and go hide out in the wilderness for a bit, except the convicts are super grateful so they make you their leader and it turns out they're decent guys who were exploited by a tyrannical government, so long story short you're crowd-sourcing for a peasant uprising and would anyone like to chip in?

3650th day and due to a series of unforeseen events you are now the emperor and founder of the han dynasty.

[actuallynotautomated]

wait a second I just need to Google something...

Emperor Gaozu of Han - Wikipedia

...Huh

[apricops]

Other fun facts about Emperor Gaozu, aka Liu Bang:

As a peasant who became emperor, he had a certain reputation among the genteel scholars of the imperial bureaucracy. In response, he snatched the hat off of a scholar and peed into it.

During the Battle of Pengcheng, he was so scared of being captured that he dumped his kids out of his chariot to distract his pursuers. His chariot driver, Xiahou Ying, went “c’mon man” and swung around to pick the kids up. Emperor Gaozu then tried the exact same trick two more times until Xiahou Ying told him to knock it off.

Emperor Gaozu took a male lover named Jiru. Sima Qian’s Records of the Grand Historian, one of the most important works in all of classical Chinese literature, said that Jiru was a useless twink and all the scholars seethed at having to talk to him to get through to emperor Gaozu. Which, look, it was a long time ago and the reality of the situation might have been notably less romantic but who among us *hasn’t* wanted to be the soft and elegant courtier who wins the heart of the coarse but well-intentioned brigand-turned-emperor, am I right?

[ido100]

Isnotreal

Isnotreal

Isnotreal

K. Again, what did you gain here?

[smegorl]

Show how racist they are?

[sweaterkittensahoy]

The antisemite brain rot should be studied.

[some-israeli-guy]

There are two things I hate. Nazis, and those fucking Jews

- Average leftist at this point.

[nevereacheaven]

Miku binder Thomas Jefferson has hit the Pentagon (Daveed Diggs inner circle)

[mariacallous]

[indecisiveavocado]

carefully drawing 612 and having everyone guess which mitzvah I didn't include

[polishpriests]

Polish bishop blessing a new bypass around Kutno. 2014.

[gaycop]

this literally looks like a surrealist painting

[theweirdwideweb]

[freebroccoli]

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

[invaderxan]

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[mylight-png]

Going to a college graduation in Israel would explode pro-Pali brains

I will elaborate once I'm less sleepy but I had to make the post before I forget

[mylight-png]

Ok I'm ready for this now.

So a few days ago I got to go to a college graduation in Israel to support a family member. You know what I saw there?

Young men and women getting their degrees, supported by their parents. Older men and women getting their degrees, supported by their children.

Men in khakis and polos. Men in tzitzit and kippot.

Women with their hair down, or in hijabs and tichels.

Black grads, Asian grads, Jewish grads, Arab grads, grads who were combinations of the above.

The "apartheid" narrative falls apart when you see all of these people standing shoulder to shoulder graduating from the same institution in the same robes with the same degrees, from so many different walks of life. In Israel.

[mylight-png]

Imagine thinking you're on the right side of history while fantasizing about committing mass-casualty violence...

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

Anti-Israel propaganda promised me that Israeli soldiers would pressure me into sex on my Birthright Trip. FALSE ADVERTISING!!! This is supposed to be the queer pride trip. Not ONCE has an IDF soldier pressured me into ANYTHING let alone lesbian sex. There has been no sexual harassment whatsoever! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

It is honestly, genuinely, even fucking better and more badass than the smear campaigns make it seem. I honestly don't think I could put it into words.