featuring gordon family group chat and ricky’s wisdom because the gordon siblings now live rent free in my mind. they broke the windows and threw cans at the cops that tried to evict them
Shoutout to Jean dropping “stupid, beautiful Kevin” on us because he ate with that. That’s exactly what Kevin is, both stupid and beautiful. Amazing, descriptive, heartbreaking, straight to the point. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Stupid, beautiful Kevin indeed
Still thinking about that once scene where Jeremy is helping Jean create a fall schedule on the floor and then Cat arrives and kisses Jean atop his head and reminds them that dinner is ready.
For him to be touched gently and affectionately without much of a purpose aside from “you deserve this softness” is so important considering that for Jean’s entire life, every time someone touched him it was to hurt him.
As much as I love drawing doodles and simplified figures, I missed doing full illustrations, feels like it's been a while.
Trojans!!
Can't believe I hadn't drawn them fully yet... So, here's my take for the four of them, I guess.
For those who wondered - yes I've read tsc and tgr, obviously (i've been following both of the releases like a famished animal ready to pounce). I love these guys' dynamic and domesticity so much. I wanna be their friend.
part 2: What's the deal with Manneq- SIMULTANEOUS PARALLEL REALITY THEORY IM CRAZY IM CRAZYIM CRAZY IM CRAZY
This is the second part of me trying to make sense of the Mannequins in ENA. Read pt. 1 here, if you want.
I'm not entirely satisfied with the explanation of "Mannequins are spawnpoints" explanation because it doesn't really explain how the Mannequins got there in the first place. How did so many Mannequins coincidentally end up near locations where it just so happens that Ena is likely to respawn?
I pondered a little bit about the role of Mannequins in the Youtube series as well, and if I could tie that into their role in the game. To my knowledge, there's only one episode where the Mannequins make an appearance, and that's Temptation Stairway.
I don't think about Ulysses often. The most I think about him is the fact that the song that plays when Ena talks to him is such a peculiar banger. But, given that he's the first character in the Youtube series to mention Doors before their existence got fully elaborated on in the game, perhaps more of his dialogue isn't just ominous and strange nonsense.
One of his lines is (paraphrased) "But heed this warning: desires are never fulfilled, nor quenched. You will fail. Like the rest of them."
So who is the rest of them? (other than Moony?) Taking the video at face value, the answer seems pretty simple, it's the Mannequins. They can be seen climbing the Great Runas in the beginning of the episode, and then later on her way, Ena walks past some lifeless ones in various places in a similar manner they are found in Dream BBQ, or they're... lamenting? In this strange space?
Other than that, without any further context, there doesn't seem to be that much to say about the Mannequins in Temptation Stairway, they seem to just be Mannequins. They're these sort of anonymous and ambiguous figures that also seem to have the same goal as Ena, reaching the Great Runas. All of which are failing, it seems.
After Ena meets Ulysses, she of course meets the Shephard who says her infamous "Arghh... another ENA troublemaker." line, which has of course been interpreted to mean millions of things. That being said, literally moments after this scene, we see other Enas when Ena enters the holy code. It seems sensible to assume these are the Enas she's talking about. (Because of Species Theory TM, no one ever really asks how they got here, why they look nearly identical to our Ena, and why they're unmoving. But that's besides the point.)
Most importantly for the purpose of this post, for some frames, they glitch into Mannequins.
(I would be remiss if I did not mention that right after this sequence, there's a data matrix on the wall that when decoded says "FORGET YOUR PAST". Make of that what you will.)
We already know there are multiple simultaneous instances of Ena in some manner, given that the Shepherd has met multiple of them. Given where the Shepherd is located and based on her dialogue, it's likely too that the Enas she met were also attempting to reach the Great Runas as well. That's another set of individuals that are attempting to reach this divine being, other than the Mannequins (and Moony).
So, when Ulysses says "You will fail, like the rest of them", maybe he's talking about the lifeless Mannequins that Ena walks past on her way to the Great Runas. Or, maybe he's talking about the other Enas that can be seen in the holy code. Or you know, both.
Or, perhaps, there's no difference between the two.
Time and reality seems to be a bit weird in the world of Ena. When talking to the remnants of the former Genie, she will offer her memories, to show Ena a reality where Ena did succeed. And this "reality" is (presumably) the reality where Ena had successfully reached the Bathroom, and the events play out the same as if you had done so.
This seems to imply that despite the fact that the sequence of events that led to Ena successfully reaching the Bathoom was not something the Ena you're currently playing as ever experienced, given that the Genie describes it as "her memories", from her perspective, it still happened. Both realities seem to co-exist.
What does that have to do with Mannequins? Well,
Here's my crazypants Theory. Rather Mannequins being a "spawnpoint", they're rather sort of... glimpses of other realities or timelines.
This Mannequin is found on the path that Ena was quite literally walking on before she stops, and she nearly gets caught under the falling structure from above. Perhaps in another alternate sequence of events she didn't stop, and kept walking. And that's what that Mannequin is.
Or this Mannequin found on the other side of the bridge, underneath the floating platforms leading up to the Orb. Perhaps in alternate sequence of events, Ena did end up falling while attempting to ascend to the Orb.
In fact, you can even experience this in-game. If you fall while attempting to climb up, you will "teleport" back to various checkpoints at different points of the ascent. So what if it's not "teleportation" that is happening, but rather you are being "transported" to a version of reality where she didn't fall. Whatever you just experienced did not happen to this Ena. But, you can still see evidence of this having happened, in some version of reality, when you look at the tops of these buildings.
(Now, I am aware that it's an absurd claim to suggest every single Mannequin here is parallel Ena. That might not be plausible. But I think it's sensible to assume at least some of the Mannequins we see across the series and game may be.)
When the broken Genie shows you a different reality, if you talk to Unforgiven Frank next to the ship, he will still recall your earlier interaction, despite the fact that in the reality where you succeeded in reaching the Bathroom, you would've never encountered him in the Lost Village.
So, it seems these are not distinct and separate realities, but somehow both true at once. Similarly to how the realities where Ena fell in a river or a pit, and the realities where she didn't, are both simultaneously true. And similarly how the Shephard has already met Ena, even if this Ena has not met the Shephard.
Does she retain anything across iterations? Does she collectively experience all of them at once, or just one at a time? It seems for the most part, Ena does not have information that she would've obtained in any parallel iteration of herself, because she needs to ask for it, this is the case in both Temptation Stairway and Dream BBQ. But it seems in some cases she does have information from sequences of events she herself has not experienced, like how she can aspire for Frank's forgiveness despite never having met him (though of course, maybe they already met prior to the events of Dream BBQ.) Perhaps it's as the Shaman said, while perhaps she can, if she were experiencing all of them simultaneously, she would be lost in her own mind.
This theory is not a rock solid, there's some things that still don't quite make sense. If you're up on the Orb Island after ascending, you can quite literally jump down all the way to the bottom and be fine, so why would another iteration Ena not make it from falling during her climb? Or, if Mannequins are supposed to represent Ena from other versions of reality, wouldn't you expect lifeless Mannequins to be found at, say, the bottom of the rivers and pits, rather than hanging off the edges? Though, since the Mannequin "inside" Ena seems to be able to "emerge" from her body, perhaps that could be the explanation for this conundrum.
With all this said, there seems to be a natural conclusion to this theory. Under the assumption that the Enas we see suspended in the holy code in Temptation Stairway are Enas that "failed" in their task, like the rest of them (like the rest of them) like the rest of them... What does that actually mean for Ena at the end of Dream BBQ?
I'm sure everyone has noticed the shot we see at the end of the game is nearly the exact same as the one in Temptation Stairway. There's other Mannequins as well, also suspended in the holy code. The conclusion of this theory seems therefore to suggest that the Ena we see at the end of Dream BBQ never actually made it out of Uncanny Streets at all. She got stuck behind the Lonely Door. Failed, like the rest of them, alongside the other Mannequins we see floating in that space.
It's a sensible assumption that the hand that reaches out and grabs this Ena-Mannequin is "taking" her and "placing" her back in the body of the Mannequin in the hub. But what if even that isn't true? What if the Ena "emerging" out of the Mannequin in the Hub isn't her "respawning", but rather, she is an entirely different instance of Ena that never left the Hub in the first place? Whatever happened to the Ena in the Lonely Door still happened, but not to this Ena.
Which seems to prompt a question that no other theory would need to ask. Where is that hand taking this other Ena?
This is not written with some intention to settle some debate For Good but rather just my own analysis and conclusions.
I don't think there's sufficient evidence (yet) that the Humanboard is definitively supposed to be read as Ena's actual child or fetus, alive or not. But for the sake of this post, it's interesting to so anyway.
While in the world of Ena i doubt procreation works in any way comparable to ours, mothers do seem to exist (Given that both Alex and a Walking Pant makes references to mothers). But I suspect it looks and mechanically works differently. I'm not sure what "child" means in this universe, but i don't think it's impossible for her to have a relationship to the Humanboard that is functionally the same as to the relationship a mother would have to a child. But does she?
I think worth Establishing first of all is within the world of ENA, the distinction between what is a "person" and what is an "item" is very... nebulous. The Humanboard is an item you use to produce a stair or platform, but it looks like a human? (and is the only explicit reference to "humans" in-universe as far as I know?) Meanwhile the Vending Machine is what you'd expect to be an item or object, but is instead a person? And then there are the Doors which are even more ambiguously in-between, described as "it"s, yet clearly not inanimate.
The way people are referred to within the world are more often rather than people, described as entities. "Entity" is one of the most ambiguous and vague words you can use to describe something that is an individual unit, without specifying further. It's just Something that Exists. (And it's also often used within some computer contexts too, which i'm sure is not an accident)
Thus, it's hard to determine how much of a "person" the Humanboard is supposed to be, and what that would even mean.
Ena (or Ena and the Shaman, given that he says "we must create life") created it. The ingredients to create the Humanboard is a Motherboard and a bzillon Shaman clones dropped into a mystical pink concoction. It is Ena who has made it possible for it to be created by bringing the missing ingredient, does that make her its mother? Is the Motherboard its mother? (Is the Shaman its mother?)
I will say definitively that i do not think the Humanboard is "dead", given that it's described as "life". At most it's in-complete but it can easily reach a completed state by planting it in the ground and letting it grow.
There are some counter-arguments to this I'll quickly address. There's a secret interaction where if you interact with a hole before acquiring the Humanboard it will say "A body could fit in here". If you then immediately afterward interact with a lifeless mannequin it will say "Not that kind".
(This interaction is actually possible with every single lifeless mannequin in the game, though there's only a few close enough to holes where this interaction is possible in practice.)
As sinister as the phrase "A body could fit in here", (and its definitely meant to read as sinister,) I dont think a body is inherently a dead body. It's never described as being "buried", just "planted", "sowed". Holes with remains and bones is described as "fertile soil", which is needed for the Humanboard to grow, meaning, they're not its own remains. Another argument to the Humanboard being dead is that its arms are always crossed as if in a coffin. I don't have a good counter-argument other than imagine the things its arms would bump into or knock down if it's arms were outstretched... it's might just be practical.
(Of course, one could also argue that the Humanboard only being "complete" when it's "buried" is more symbolic in some sense, but that'd have to be an interpretation for a different post. )
So, all things considered, there's more to suggest that the Humanboard is alive than dead, in my view.
(Shot from the release trailer. It's very brief and ambiguous in significance, to me.)
So, what is the actual relationship between Ena and the Humanboard then? Given it's (imo) likely not dead, I don't think reading it as stillborn or similar makes sense. Ena doesn't seem to have any sort of emotional attachment to it or grief towards it (in-game at least) and there is no significant emotional reaction when receiving it, compared to receiving any other item. The way she uses it in practice is to plant it and to use the produced stair in order to reach the places she wouldn't otherwise reach. There doesn't seem to be any hesitation in using it this way, despite the Humanboard grunting in discomfort when she walks all over it. Therefore, if this is Ena's "child", she has seemingly no affection for it. It is in all meanings a "tool".
The Humanboard was created with the express purpose to be used to ascend to the orb and reach the Bathroom. I think it's worth pointing out that the Bathroom has some parallels to heaven, or is at the very least a spiritual place. It is a place of "G0D" that contains Angels*, a divine figure, and it is a space where one repents, washes sin off themselves and can be forgiven.
So, with this interpretation, one could read the Humanboard, a "life" she "created", as a measure to achieve forgiveness. As if some demand has been placed on her to create a child that she seems to feel no love for, to be able to undo any prior sin. It's worth pointing out too that the Humanboard is used as a bridge to reach this Bathroom, and in the route where you do not acquire the Humanboard you're far more likely to fall into the Lost Village, a place where "sinful souls" go, according to Unforgiven Frank.
*as it so happens, the appearances of the Angels in DBBQ are directly inspired by venus figuines, (the specific ones are listed here,) which are sometimes speculated to be expressions of womanhood and/or fertility.
However, Ena does not come to the Bathroom with the stated purpose to be forgiven, and this is something she's expressly denied regardless. The only request she can be granted is to turn off the Lonely Door's smoke machine, which is also the actual stated purpose as for why she's there. So, what is the purpose for the Humanboard here?
In this context Ena too uses the Humanboard to be able to achieve her goal but it's hard to read it as a "child" here. Ena needed to produce a "life" in order to complete her job assignment (and in the route she doesn't create the Humanboard she's more likely to fail in doing so), but there's not much else to say in terms of real world parallels, because what else is that comparable to? (Like, surrogacy I suppose?) In this framing, it seems it can only be read as just a literal tool and I personally can't gleam any other meaning from it.
However, I do thinkthe motherhood references in ENA are interesting to discuss, beyond the Humanboard being a literal child. There are more allusions to motherhood (or actually, more specifically, pregnancy) considering there is a giant foreboding fetus in the sky in an orb, the Wanderers babble about mothers and wombs (transcript), and of course the creation of the Humanboard being described as a "birth".
Here's the part I find interesting.
To create a child, you're required to relinquish a part of yourself temporarily, and the toll it takes on your body can be permanent. To undergo this process for any reason other than because you want is exploitative. I think it's worth pointing out too that in the Core we see this human-like Ena with a hole in her abdomen, as if a significant part of her body has been taken out of her, which is also coincidentally the part of yourself where a child would be created.
That being said, we know this hole was not literally created through making the Humanboard, and she will still have this hole even if she did the Purge Route. So, while I don't think the Humanboard is meant to be a literal child, i think the references to pregnancy and birth could tie into a greater theme.
It seems to be the case that Ena's "job" is for some unknown reason something she's forced to do, and given her dialogue in the Purge Event dance floor there might be dire consequences for her not doing it that she cannot "afford". If we read the Core, Bathroom and Lost Village as some sort of limbo or afterlife, in both routes she's then also literally required to "die" for her job.
She's been forced to relinquish parts of herself, her being, her life, to serve something other than herself. As it's phrased in the Purge Route, she has to "pay with [her] body".
Along the same train of thought, we don't really know what the recurring war imagery really means for Ena yet, but we do know what war means. For a soldier, you have to relinquish your entire body to serve, put your entire life and being on the line for the sake of your side in the war.
This is to say, in all these instances, a person doesn't fully belong to themselves, if at all. Ena's body, life and being isn't hers, but is in servitude to something else.
What was the question again? Oh right, is the Humanboard Ena's baby. Well, I'm not sure about that.
But it is for certain a body that is used as a tool.
HELLO Dashboard!! Ever since i first played DBBQ i've found the entire game endlessly interesting (as have most people, LOL) But one of the most interesting, and in my opinion, most Potent things, is Ena's character and how she relates to the game's commentary on modern work culture.
So for anyone as much of a #SICKO as me 😭 Here's an embarrassingly long analysis of just that! There's SO much to talk about with this game, and even when I'm trying to focus on one specific idea with this post, I'm sure I'll still miss things, so just stick with me best you can OK? 😭 😭
My aim for this post is to allow you to understand Just how deep in the torment nexus Ena is, and to want to say "she should be at the club" Only to realize she can't even go to the club. She can't even go to the club. Because of Job. (Among other, hopefully more intelligently articulated things!)
SO, Let's just jump right in :D
First, to state the obvious—Ena's literal entire life is her job. The only moods she expresses under normal circumstance are "smooth talking salesperson where every line is about working or trying to sell something" and "Stops keeping up the veneer and gets frustrated and pissed because she hates her stupid job."
This permeates every aspect of her character—I don't think there's a single line in the game so far where she says like, Anything about herself. There's nothing about what she may want or what she may like. It's all about her fuckass job or the fuckass Boss.
And of course, even in gameplay aspects, you literally don't get a chance to choose whether you accept a job or not, like the thought of doing anything besides giving her time and energy for other people or her job's benefit doesn't even occur to her (Or, it can't occur to her—I doubt the Boss would want to allow her reprieve from anything at all, and I'm sure Ena would know this).
(^ Ena's reaction to being told to find a mythical figure that she maybe didn't even know existed cause Froggy sure as hell didn't to do a stupid job for Froggy's stupid ass. Like)
Maybe i'm reaching here, but I even find it interesting how her red hand has no fingers (besides a thumb). I feel like that represents a lack of individuality she has when she's in Salesperson mode, or at least, a lack of individuality she's been allowed. A lack of having a defined being cause it's all about this stupid job.
There's lots of avenues to go from here, but let's start with another big point of the game: Everybody hates her. Except for like, three characters, every NPC in the game either insults her, talks down to her, blatantly doesn't respect her, or Literally tells her nobody should be punished for being born except her. Typical day for Ena.
I'm not going to get into why I think this is—for me there's not enough evidence to speculate with surety right now—but I think this does tie strongly into her commitment to her job. Ena working her ass off in every aspect of her life and earning nothing but disrespect for it is very reminiscent of real life work environments.
Think of how almost every NPC claims they are "the Boss" in such a way that many of them seem to want to be the Boss, like he's some kind of well-known or respected figure. The description for the game on Steam even says as much: "Play as ENA as she searches for the Boss that everyone wants to be."
(eg: "I am the B-O-S-S!"):
People wish they were the Boss, they want to be some kind of rich capitalist with power and fame, but when looking at someone who actually works for him, and probably is the reason the Boss has profit and success in the first place, they insult her and demean her no matter how much she gives herself to them and the Boss. I'm sure you can see the real life parallels here.
It's even possible one of the reasons Ena works so hard in the first place is as an attempt to earn respect from these people, or to make up for whatever everyone thinks she did that made everyone hate her so much. Especially considering...
Our society is one that tells its people that Work is unequivocally Good. Committing yourself to work is what everyone, no matter who they are or what they face, is what you have to do to be a valuable member of society, and to have any respect from other people in the slightest. It tells its people that you only have value as a living human being at all if you give your life to work.
Even though this blatantly isn't true. If people think you're the Wrong type of worker, or if people think your work isn't valuable, helpful, or that it doesn't require skill, you can work as hard as you want but you'll still be treated like shit. But, hey, work is still your duty as a member of society, right? Stop bitching and whining and pull yourself up by your bootstraps, right?
Needless to say, it's easy to see how this whole idea is being represented in DBBQ. She even knows how much she's sold herself to this, she just... Seems to have extremely casually accepted it all LOL, which, I mean... What else does she have the power to do?
This very casual and nonchalant acknowledgement of her lack of autonomy connects to another big point: Ena doesn't value herself, nor does she even know how to exist without being in a constant state of working.
Let's talk about the Purge: There's a LOT to get to here in terms of Ena herself LOL, but the intrigue starts before she even enters the party. Literally Froggy just saying she's about to enter an "Event" stops her in her tracks and worries her. Not to mention the next line...
This feels like an indication that despite how much she commits herself to it, Ena does "crave freedom" from her shitty job, although she can scarcely admit this anywhere else so far. Then, if you talk to this slime guy, you get some strange text.
As far as I know, the text for interacting with things doesn't look like this anywhere else in the game. And given that it looks exactly the same as how Ena's lines do in the Purge, it's seemingly the only peek we get into her internal monologue, and it is. Quite worrying! She literally can climb up a hellish freezing floating mountain and yet this is by far the most freaked out she gets in the entire game.
And then to actually get into the Purge, an Evil eye Ball tells her that she needs to give a literal arm or a leg to get in. And she just does it. Like no hesitation no further questions she just gives it away to the evil eye ball. Presumably for Good? Because the only reason she regains the arm later is because of Genie magic? Like Ena. Girl. Are we gonna talk about this at all.
But so many real life work environments expect you to give every part of yourself in order to be allowed to exist and live in society, including your physical being and critical parts of your personhood at all.
(Let me also say I find it intentional that she gave away her white arm. Whereas her red hand literally doesn't have fingers, the sharp claws she has on her white hand represent the individuality and unique identity she Does have. However, it's also the part of herself that's in conflict with her ability to be a Good Worker, that always does exactly what she's supposed to do, and never complains, and never gets in the way of her duties.)
She was already very distressed here, but it's a clear indication of how little she values herself. It was a motion to lose a part of herself just to reach the Genie, both for her stupid job, and possibly for the possibility of "freedom" from it all. And your average job these days—no matter how important you are to your cause—will drill it into you that your ability to be a good worker is infinitely more important than your existence as a person. It's easy to see how Ena may have internalized that.
And then she goes to the club one time and this happens
I won't get too deep into her dialogue with the NPCs here because I think their intention is pretty clear; Being in a place so antithetical to a work environment, and a place where she's supposed to let loose and have fun, is so distressing and impossible to even fathom for her that This Happens.
(see: "H-How can I leave this stupid event? M-my lame schedule is full,")
Like, everything at the Purge is insane, but this is a particularly heartbreaking line for me. One because of her job's shitty environment that's broken her down so much—do you think she EVER gets a break, because I sure don't—but also because of how it's conditioned her to not even believe she can "afford another minute of joy." Ena :[
Note how she's covered in these branches that started growing during Froggy's phone call, which look very similar to how she looks in this gag with the Shaman—it's literally her nervous system. In her scene with Mitu she even says she's feeling "sick," She's literally freaked out of her flipping Gourd with her goddamn Nerves On The Outside
Hell, even though Meanie's speaking (which, I mean, no shit, in another line she literally describes her job as "deplorable" 😭), these sprites in the files are actually labelled "Anxiety", suggesting that she's SO freaked out by being somewhere supposed to be so opposite to her work she's become another variant of herself, a la Drunk Ena from Season 1.
I won't get much more into this, because @cube-cumb3r has a PHENOMENAL post I'll link in the notes that goes deeper into this stuff from the Purge and the "Anxiety" thing, And also gets more into theory territory than I do here! Please please go read that post, it is so damn good.
In any case, I think the scenes with the Purge NPCs are the biggest examples in the whole game of how much she hates her fuckass job, yet she can't be allowed to be anything besides a wage slave to it. And just as she's internalized everybody in her world's dislike of her, she hates herself for it.
So:
We've established that Ena's shitty job parallels the real life work conditions that plague our world, and that these conditions have caused her to devalue herself and believe she can't have any reprieve from them... but, what even is her job?
Apparently she's a salesperson, but what is she even selling? She tries to offer a "divestment opportunity", and tells the Witches she can show them how to "grow [their] own [boss]" which definitely falls in line with the Sales thing, but besides that it's still not clear, even when she talks to Froggy.
I suppose the "grow their own boss" line does sound a lot like the phrasing used in MLM schemes, with how they lure people in by telling them they can "be their own boss." The Receptionist also calls Ena a scammer and a conman, so maybe she is a sort of scammer, but, I also don't exactly think the Receptionist think she has the most reliable opinions of Ena LOL
She also calls her a "pink-collar slug", pink collar meaning a job traditionally associated with women, which. ??? I don't fully know where to go with that.. like ...Nothing she does harkens to... Any kind of job expected to be done by women, imo?? Um. Yeah idk i just thought that may be significant??/ 😭😭😭😭 Listen man I can't know it all
Anyway. Maybe I'll be proven embarrassingly wrong when we receive more information in future chapters, but I think the lack of clarity on what she's supposed to be is representative of the games themes. The constant disrespect Ena receives makes her seem likely to be a low-tier worker, someone at the bottom of the ladder that people have no problems walking all over.
Because these types of jobs will treat you the same no matter who you are or what you're supposed to be doing. She's doing what the world tells her she needs to do in order to be a respected member of society, and yet she's also someone people feel comfortable treating poorly because she's at the bottom—because has no power of her own. It doesn't matter what she's supposed to be doing, it matters that she's the Wrong type of worker.
And how is she supposed to ever say anything for herself? It seems virtually baked into her Salesperson side to completely ignore past all the rude things these assholes say to her. After all, not only would that probably just make most people ruder to her (and impede her ability to complete jobs for them) isn't the customer always right?
...OK I will say her whole "Understood! Aim for the target!" line DOES seem like her overall job here is to fucking kill the Boss, but this is long enough already and the likely theme of Ena having a violent streak and whatnot is another beast entirely that I am NOT getting into here 😭😭
Besides, maybe she has no clearly defined job because we've already seen exactly what it is. To sell her life, time, and emotions to whatever all these clowns ask of her, and to receive no reward besides another goddamn job to do.
I think future chapters may delve more into Ena's true feelings on her situation, and possibly even how she'll get freedom from it. Allow me to mention the scenes with Theodora, wherein if you try to "aspire to receive a blissful life" Theodora just tells Ena "You can't aspire for more than what you are capable of." (LIKE OKAYYYY.... RUDE MUCH????)
Until, finally:
How is her mind—containing a desire for freedom—supposed to be in harmony with the letters it spits out, when she's been so conditioned that the only thing she's allowed to be is a worker?
Now, even I still have a lot of questions after this. Like: What has happened in Ena's past that made her this way? How and why did she take this job in the first place? What is up with the "Guys wait, I'm not doing what you say I'm doing" scene I literally didn't even mention that once here. Why should nobody be punished for being born except poor damn Ena, and does it relate to any of the themes I just talked about?
I... don't know. Like I actually truly have no idea. But I have confidence, even if it's in a delightfully vague and abstract Ena-typical way, that we'll find out eventually.
I did have some stuff to say about the hands because you mentioned her different hands and what they represent and I immediately thought of things i had to ADD!
I totally buy that in some sense her white hand represents her individuality and her red hand represents her lack of that. I don't think it's a coincidence that the only side that shows any trace of Ena being an individual and not a mindless worker drone, is also the side who has the hand with any sort of definition.
(disclaimer: the following part of the post may all be complete horseshit. there may be other reasons a certain hand was chosen for a certain action such as composition of a shot or pose, and this may all just be a long string of coincidences)
On that note, I figured it'd be interesting just as a fun add-on to this post to also ponder about how she uses those hands. She uses her red hands in moments when she wants to progress, to get shit done. To knock on doors (presumably to inquire), to move aside the curtain to get to the Genie.
I think it's interesting too how the hands she uses is not really tied to whichever side Ena is currently presenting as. Ena will always use the red hand to use the megaphone, which is arguably the greatest example of Getting Shit Done.
So what does she use her white hand for?
Poking things. Petting things. Things that serve no functional purpose at all, things she does for herself. Despite this presumably being her dominant hand (judging from the way she uses the Humanboard), it's interesting how we see this hand much less because the moments we most often see her hand is when she's knocking on doors, and there are many many doors you can knock.
But there is one door she interacts with using her left hand. And it's this one, in Night Hill. The one door she doesn't interact with to inquire further or to progress, but rather to linger. To long for a life she doesn't have. But then of course, when the interaction ends and you need to move on, she knocks on it with her red hand like all the other doors.
Needless to say, it's really fucking interesting that that's what she has to give up for her job isn't it?
Calli mentions it previously in this post, Theodora points out Ena's stated goals may not be in line with her true inner desires.
The Remains Of The Former Genie also points this out, when stating that there must've been hesitation in Ena's actions leading her to end up in this place.
Then she offers to show Ena a reality where Ena did achieve her "deepest desires". With which hand does she reach for this?
