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@mournlost-a
I WILL RISE FROM MY WORST DISASTERS [ ... ] & PROTECT THEM! SAVE THEM! KEEP AWAY THE WOLF! I HAVE A DUTY!
#MOURNLOST ⸻ a priv. & sel. canon divergent interpretation of watcher ingellvar ROOK from DRAGON AGE : THE VEILGUARD . written by goose ( 30+ , she / her or they / them ) . personals dni . under 21 dni . does not tag veilguard spoilers links . carrd . / drabble sb . / aes sb . blogroll . alara . / kagha (sideblog to alara) .
MEET YOUR UN-MAKER, YOUR UNDERTAKER.
hate to do this ( so sorry! ) but reviving my multi & moving val over there for now, as i don't have the muse ( or the threads ) for a single muse blog atm. going to keep this blog up in case i get an unexpected revival but, for the time being, find val @lastlght <3
hate to do this ( so sorry! ) but reviving my multi & moving val over there for now, as i don't have the muse ( or the threads ) for a single muse blog atm. going to keep this blog up in case i get an unexpected revival but, for the time being, find val @lastlght <3
just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”
Vladimir Mayakovsky, from a letter featured in "Love in the Heart of Everything; The Correspondence between Vladimir Mayakovsky & Lili Brik, 1915-1930,"
🌹⚔️ A 𝔊OTHIC ROMANCE.
♯ DRUNK ON RED WINE, HER LIPS ON MINE SUFFUSED WITH THE PERFUME OF NIGHT. ↪ a celebration of devotion, courtship, and dangerous affection. the following is a random assortment of prompts specifically catered toward fantasy and historical settings. feel free to adjust, combine, and add specifics wherever necessary.
ACTIONS.
sender presents receiver with a token of devotion (flower, ribbon, dagger, etc.)
a stolen kiss in the gardens while snow still clings to the hedges.
a dance shared beneath lantern lit trees.
sender challenges a duel over jealousy.
sender ties receiver's colors to their armor.
a love confession spoken in an old tongue.
sender and receiver's cut palms are pressed together in a blood oath or binding ritual.
sender places a wreath of flowers upon receiver's brow.
sender and receiver are forced to sit beside one another at a feast.
sender offers receiver an intimate drink of blood from their wrist.
sender and receiver meet in their secret place.
a heated kiss that escalates beyond propriety.
a night spent beneath the stars, watched by something older than them.
sender and receiver dance together (a ball, a feast, etc.)
sender offers a marriage proposal made purely out of spite.
a passionate, reckless kiss before battle.
a dramatic, public declaration from receiver.
a handwritten letter from receiver sealed in wax.
sender and receiver share a cup of wine.
sender and receiver speak privately, intimately on a balcony.
sender and receiver are unhappily betrothed to be married.
DIALOGUE.
"when the moon bleeds, so do hearts."
"i have watched you longer than i should."
"i would choose you, even if it burned kingdoms."
"drink from me— and only me."
"come back to me."
"you are mine to protect."
"i never asked you to protect me."
"if i cannot have you, no one will."
"you are not meant for gentleness— and yet."
"i dream of you without your armor."
"take it. before i lose my courage."
"you hate me. i tolerate you. it will suffice."
"if we are caught, let them choke on it."
"you look too beautiful in the cold."
"if we must endure this, endure it with me."
"choose me now, or watch me bleed for it."
"this is treason."
"smile. they are watching."
"do not look at me like that."
"only a taste."
"if you betray me, it will damn us both."
"you would kill over a glance?"
"say you do not care for him— and i will sheath my blade."
"i have tried to stop loving you."
"if you bleed, you bleed for me."
"you do not know what you do to me."
"if i dared take your hand, would you pull away?"
"when you ride, ride safely. i would not forgive the gods."
"if the world were kinder, i would ask for you openly."
"i would burn a city for that look."
"you should not look at me so, not where others may see."
mentioned already she picks up a lot in terms of fighting styles in tevinter/away from the watch, & i will die on the hill of brawler val. that tavern brawl scene at the start of the game is 100000% canon, she can & will throw hands, & use force magic to amplify the sting of her hits.
finished reaching out on alara's plotting call, so will drop one here now too for val <3 like to plot something new if we don't have a dynamic/haven't written or to refine what we have if we do have something, anything goes!
i've said on alara that she will add extra flourishes & say 10 words where 1 will do, & val is absolutely the other end of that. sometimes i worry there are similarities, but at their cores, they really wouldn't get along.
& again my mind goes back to wicked (idk why it has lately), & i really do just write the two halves of what is this feeling/glinda & elphie don't i?
regarding the learning from everyone else bit: she also perpetually feels like a kid in class that's being called on to bullshit their way through homework & readings she hasn't done.
but, another strength of hers that she can be blind to, she is very good at taking complex concepts & breaking them down. she may not get all the mechanics but she can understand the idea underpinning it, & boil it down to the bare essentials.
i've touched on the fact that she absolutely feels like the least competent member of the vg before. that said, this woman is taking (mental notes). she has her own style & way of doing things, but if you don't think she's not watching how her fellow mages fight & incorporating what makes sense with her style, idk what to tell you.
same with living in tevinter. she mostly has experience with the venatori with varric, but she does work & see other mages, & she's taking notes & learning. at that point, it's also because it helps hide her tracks, but also, if she can't learn by the watch, it doesn't mean she's going to give up.
to summarise, she is this meme
i may also need to make val in bg3....
i've touched on the fact that she absolutely feels like the least competent member of the vg before. that said, this woman is taking (mental notes). she has her own style & way of doing things, but if you don't think she's not watching how her fellow mages fight & incorporating what makes sense with her style, idk what to tell you.
same with living in tevinter. she mostly has experience with the venatori with varric, but she does work & see other mages, & she's taking notes & learning. at that point, it's also because it helps hide her tracks, but also, if she can't learn by the watch, it doesn't mean she's going to give up.
i'm alive! but as what seems to happen when i come back to val lately, i do (1) thing & life picks back up. will be here on the weekend & may even unleash a plotting call ♥
He catches her wince. Was that—his first thought is that the horror of staying here all her life hit her like a sudden realization, but no, that's him and his biases, it's not Valeria, he knows her better than that. It's the way he brought it up, or the fact he brought it up. Tearing at a wound that's not fully closed. She doesn't say anything, brushes it off. But the way that she brushes it off... "I'm sorry. That was insensitive." And he lingers at that for just a moment, so there's room for her to speak about it if she wants to, but not so long it'll get awkward if she doesn't want to. "What's a sabbatical?"
Gatt is used to the two watchers in their group tossing around strange words which they forget no one but they understand. Those conversations can get quite funny if you ignore the fact that they're probably talking about dead people, funnier if you're in the background nodding along like you understand completely. Lace pretends she disapproves of it but still laughs when he says oh yes, naturally we must cleanse the lower chambers from the residual energies, an apprentice could figure that out. Now it's just him and Valeria, and he doesn't feel as much as a bother for asking.
Her hand is cold at first, but Gatt runs warm and it seems the heat from his hand transfers to hers, so in a few moments they feel the same. There's a slight tingle just where their palms meet. He can't tell if that's the magic or just the fact that they're touching. It's still strange—touching someone without feeling like he wants to throw up or tear away or peel his skin off—touching someone and feeling comforted by it, feeling calmer than he was before.
"I ask a lot of stupid questions", he says with a huff of laughter. "But when you're stupid like me you have to. Makes you smarter in the long run. That's the plan at least, I'm still waiting for it." She smiles, so that's a good thing, and seems to know where she's going which is even better.
Then his stupid questions come back to bite him and he can't himself from making a face. "Maker no, I—I couldn't. Infringe. On their hospitality." He grins, almost convinced she's messing with him. He has tried not to show his dislike for this place, but it can't have been that successful. Surely. "Too early to think of what happens once this is over, isn't it? We may be dead. Far from here."
shoulders tense as a taut bowstring & delving into depths immemorial for the first time, totally reliant on her magic, her intuition, her knowledge of the ever shifting landscape of home, & still he notices her hurt, & backtracks. it's sweet, & as warm as his hand in hers. ❝ don't be. it's only what everyone upstairs is saying, & you didn't mean it. ❞ a beat. ❝ but, thank you. ❞
before the conversation can grow as stagnant as the dry air around them, or veer into uncomfortable territory about what, exactly, happened, he bursts the silence with a question she hadn't even thought to answer, & valeria can't help the surprised laugh. a good reminder that what's normal for her isn't normal for them, as if the vastness of space they look upon weren't enough. ( which, clearly, was not. )
jagged rock forms natural steps down, & in the distance, she already spots towering fluted columns. it shakes loose a memory, a similar room she'd once traversed with her sister, rows upon rows of enormous supports evenly spaced, all stretching up & disappearing into darkness above. they'd tore through them, the trepidation of something on their heels, just out of sight. had whatever shadowed them caught their scent in that room, or had they found refuge & safety there? esha would know; her sister carries an uncanny connection with the necropolis, navigates it like she carries a compass in her ribcage. one that doesn't spin into a blur, confused by the gossamer-thin veil.
next time, she'll swallow her pride & ask her along. this place is more irritable than when they lived here last.
❝ right, sorry. it's… ❞ how to describe it ? ❝ …like a long research trip. how long depends on how far away you need to go, what it is you're researching, & how smart you are but, usually, somewhere between six months to two years is the most common. ❞
someone like emmrich – esteemed, established, & with numerous publications already to his name – could command more time away & bigger projects, & is approved immediately on his name & reputation alone, or so she'd guess. maybe he must still pull a few strings, too. her only experience comes from the warnings of her advanced colleagues to enjoy their freedom, & their deluge of complaints about the unholy hours of overtime & extra labs they needed to sign up for to be noticed, along with the substantial departmental ass they needed to kiss for a mere sliver of attention.
& that's to say nothing of tangible support: for equipment, stipends, research assistants ( living or otherwise )… but the politics of securing a sabbatical is probably more than he's ever wanted to know, & she's cast the watch in enough of an unflattering light for one day.
❝ i'll let you in on a little secret: i'm right there with you. ❞ she grins, & it almost does feel like confiding one.
❝ when bellara & emmrich start trading theories, i only ever get about half of it, if i'm lucky. or – one time – ❞ she chuckles, recalling the mixture of shock & horror warring across their god killer's face, & probably the precise moment he elected to take on the task of feeding the team, ❝ i was keeping an eye on the stove for lucanis & started pouring out some sauce or something because the recipe said to reduce it. he looked at me like i hit my head on the frying pan… &, well, has yet to ask me to watch anything else. ❞
another blind spot. thankfully, neve also subsisted mostly on takeaway & bellara only knew a handful of dishes, enough that she didn't feel completely out of place. you live & you learn, right? sometimes painfully. ❝ you don't know what you don't know. but, hey, ask enough questions & you're bound to ask the right one, eventually. ❞
the question that shifts everything, unearthing an answer & a vein of understanding to track to the source.
although, it's clear this is one he'd rather not see through. maybe it's the face he pulls, but valeria can't help it: she cackles, bell-bright & boisterous, briefly throwing her head back with it. ❝ very considerate of you. ❞
but, he's right, it's too soon to speak of a future they may not have, & her humour dims. she'd be a poor watcher to shy away from the weight of the possibility looming over them. ❝ maybe, but i trust emmrich will return my remains to the watch, if it comes to it... so i might not be so far from here, in the end. ❞
assuming, of course, whatever kills her in this hypothetical doesn't take her fellow watcher, too.
& because there's no time like the present, she gently asks, ❝ what about you ? what do you want to happen to you – & your effects – in the event of your passing ? ❞
FIND YOUR COLOUR.
matches.
tagged by: stole it from my tav tagging: @dreadblaidd, @dryadalismagicae, & you
