elle-mov to the beet

[movellelea-blog]

the waterfront is not far...

i read this, 

on the sidewalk, 

as i walk, 

briskly,

and carrying an oversized bag, 

of things: 

that, 

of course, 

i need.

strange to think. no harbours here, 

i thought. 

curious, 

walkin' onward, 

« what have they erected down by the lake? »

i wonder.

the clouds come into sight,

the cement sea parts, 

sailboats.

oh, 

i see. 

a park of some sort. 

perhaps i can rest there, 

perhaps i can eat there, 

then i see it: 

« Jack Layton Ferry Terminal » 

&, a monument of Jack riding a 2-person-bike, 

a tourist, 

or a citizen, 

(i can’t be sure)

made of stone, 

or of flesh, 

(i can’t be sure)

  sits with Him. 

there’s no food in sight.

why must we wrap our hope, 

in the arms, 

the legs, 

the wheels, 

of immortalized men?

this is the water-front. 

no rest for me, 

just passers-by: 

two women with canes,

and a stone-cold Jack.  

a sonic boom, 

startles me out of this place, 

and I leave, 

to find, 

or, to buy, 

some food,  

or rest. 

[movellelea-blog]

Safe homes

About a month ago, I was at home visiting my family. My mom and I stayed up the latest. We chatted and shared stories, and moments, and drinks. Before the night ended, I told her I am polyamorous. When I explained to her what that meant, she said: “Wow, Lea. That sound’s really cool. I can totally see the appeal.” She didn’t ask me silly questions or assume that it was a phase I’d grow out of when I wanted to “settle down and get serious”. She didn’t assume that polyamorous relationships couldn’t be just as serious or unserious as monogamous relationships. She then asked me, quite gently, if I dated boys or girls or girls and boys. I then deiced to explain to her that I am pansexual. Again, her response fell along the lines of “that’s awesome.” Before the conversation ended she told me: how cool she thinks I am, how proud of me she is, how much she loves me, and how I am always welcome home with however many partners I’d like, no matter where along the gender spectrum they fall. I am so grateful that my childhood home is a place where I can be myself; it sure makes the idea of being myself in the rest of the world feel safer.  I wanted to share this with all of you for a few different reasons I suppose. So that you know, the world is full of people like my mom, with whom you are safe in being yourself. And also, so that, if you’re reading this and you’ve made the world an unsafe place for someone, anyone, especially someone you love, you might realize how important that safety is to them. Especially in places that feel like homes. If you’re the friend or family member of someone with a lifestyle you don’t quite understand or feel comfortable with, then: try harder. It’s that simple. You owe the people you love the feeling that they’re safe being who they are with you. To everyone I love, and everyone I like, and just…everyone: you’re safe being you with me. I'm genuinely sorry if I've ever made you feel like you aren't. And to everyone who didn’t know any of this until right now, I hope I’m still safe with you. Peace & love, humans. Shout out to my momma; I’m just as proud of you as you are of me.

[movellelea-blog]

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Music. Always music. Sunshine. Amusement Parks. Writing poetry. Singing. Beer. Love. 

[movellelea-blog]

"See I started this life

As a nappy but clean flapjack

Slipping on the shiny white backs of the back pack

A princess a jock a brain a freak

Now I’m a fucking rebel I’m a little of each

And I’m not ashamed of all the different parts in me

And I like cross-pollinating the communities

Because divided we’re cool

But together we conquer

Like monsters and roaches

And humans and honkers

And if you’re close to my age, then you were raised down the street

With a lick-em-mate Fun Dip in front of your TV

And our generation’s gotta do it differently

‘Cause we got new ideas and new abilities

Inside an old-fashioned funeral, ew - change the station

I’d rather tune in for a life celebration

Say good bye with dance parties and say good bye with shows

‘Cause that somber-ass shit’s not the way I wanna go." 

I am enthralled by how phenomenal this track is. 

[movellelea-blog]

poetics.

[movellelea-blog]

unpolished poems from an old notebook: resurrected

a journey through times-passed:  1.

you were the light, 

and i was the night. 

before my gaze met your flickering candle,

my eyes had adjusted, 

and like the wise owl, 

i had learned to live in the dark. 

but i am not an owl, 

and i am hardly wise. 

i yearned to share your day-sight, 

and drink your candle's flame, 

but all this new and precious light?

it came with burns. and pain. 

for we light up my everything, 

opened buckets full of shame, 

in those dark and dusty corners: 

where old messes: they remained. 

all the things that i had tucked away, 

to tidy-up one far off day, 

had lost their shield of darkness, 

and i feared i'd lost my way

all i wanted was to beat it, 

and be with you in the light, 

but the clean up wasn't easy, 

and it seems i've lost the fight. 

my darkness killed your candle, 

which at one time burned so bright. 

i understand your disappearance, 

and I wish, above all else: 

that your flame will reignite. 

2. 

i'd shut you out forever, 

if any comfort it would bring. 

but if i wiped my memory clean: 

i'd feel nothing over pain,

and even though i broke us both, 

you really helped me grow.

i thought we'd make it through the rough, 

but you never really know. 

3.

so it goes, 

here I am. 

alone in the strangest of lands. 

it matters not, 

how close i get to those who surround me,

for they are not you. 

and i am not me. 

4. 

must it be all or nothing?

sorrow or joy?

me & you, or me?

i like being alone with the world, 

but my side is empty, 

home only to my shadow, 

and what used to be. 

5.

I rode a bike today through Stanley Park,

the sun quenched the thirst of all that was dark. 

I looked all around at the places we'd been,

but I didn't see you. 

it didn't feel like an end. 

I saw space to be filled with all that I choose: 

independence, freedom of spirit, and adventures anew. 

it's all that I need, 

excepting for you. 

but, 

hey, as it turns out: 

a little sunshine will do. 

6. 

i am my light

[movellelea-blog]

i wanna see you be brave.

[movellelea-blog]

a line that i'm sitting on...

i hear that others see themselves in mirrors 

i'm not sure i see myself anywhere. 

[movellelea-blog]

naturing. 

[movellelea-blog]

"and if the sun bursts apart at the end of the world. i don't think i would give a damn. as long as i'm surrounded by friends and pints in god damned newfoundland. so here's to newfoundland."  and here's to being back in st. john's this summer. i'll miss you when i depart again in the fall. <3

[movellelea-blog]

Weddings are like little girls' tea parties. Except, the women are the stuffed animals, the men are making them talk, and they're not drinking tea, they're drinking antiquated gender roles.

Britta, Community

[movellelea-blog]

[movellelea-blog]

inspired by David Suzuki's nature month

How pervertedly unnatural:

the feeling of earth upon the city dweller's naked foot. 

And we're all city dwellers. 

Who seldom realize that our shoes live a life, 

we've long forgotten.