About a month ago, I was at home visiting my family. My mom and I stayed up the latest. We chatted and shared stories, and moments, and drinks. Before the night ended, I told her I am polyamorous. When I explained to her what that meant, she said: “Wow, Lea. That sound’s really cool. I can totally see the appeal.” She didn’t ask me silly questions or assume that it was a phase I’d grow out of when I wanted to “settle down and get serious”. She didn’t assume that polyamorous relationships couldn’t be just as serious or unserious as monogamous relationships. She then asked me, quite gently, if I dated boys or girls or girls and boys. I then deiced to explain to her that I am pansexual. Again, her response fell along the lines of “that’s awesome.” Before the conversation ended she told me: how cool she thinks I am, how proud of me she is, how much she loves me, and how I am always welcome home with however many partners I’d like, no matter where along the gender spectrum they fall. I am so grateful that my childhood home is a place where I can be myself; it sure makes the idea of being myself in the rest of the world feel safer.
I wanted to share this with all of you for a few different reasons I suppose. So that you know, the world is full of people like my mom, with whom you are safe in being yourself. And also, so that, if you’re reading this and you’ve made the world an unsafe place for someone, anyone, especially someone you love, you might realize how important that safety is to them. Especially in places that feel like homes. If you’re the friend or family member of someone with a lifestyle you don’t quite understand or feel comfortable with, then: try harder. It’s that simple. You owe the people you love the feeling that they’re safe being who they are with you. To everyone I love, and everyone I like, and just…everyone: you’re safe being you with me. I'm genuinely sorry if I've ever made you feel like you aren't. And to everyone who didn’t know any of this until right now, I hope I’m still safe with you. Peace & love, humans. Shout out to my momma; I’m just as proud of you as you are of me.
