𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 . ( sentence starters originating from season one of ‘ the good place ’ . adjust pronouns as necessary , mature themes are present!)
❛ oh , one question. where am i , who are you , and what’s going on ? ❜ ❛ cool . cool . i have some questions . ❜ ❛ are you sure you want to hear ? ❜ ❛ cool , bring it in , man ! ❜ ❛ you’ll stand by my side no matter what , right ? ❜ ❛ promise me . say it : “ i promise i will never betray you for any reason ” ❜ ❛ somebody forked up . ❜ ❛ i mean , you do get how that’s worse , right ? ❜ ❛ maybe it’s not … ACTUALLY all that bad . ❜ ❛ i’m just asking you to fudge a little bit ! ❜ ❛ i have a stomachache . ❜ ❛ that’s ‘ fun ’ . ❜ ❛ okay , that’s really specific and makes me think that you definitely did do that . ❜ ❛ what a condescending bench . ❜ ❛ let’s just face it , [ name ] , you don’t belong here ! ❜ ❛ this is a putrid , disgusting bowl of ethical soup . ❜ ❛ that was my first time as a fashion “ don’t ” and i was NOT here for it . ❜ ❛ you’re the most self - obsessed person i’ve ever met . ❜ ❛ time to pick a designated driver . ❜ ❛ before you say anything … that’s it , i just don’t want you to say anything . ❜ ❛ we’re gonna bang it out . ❜ ❛ okay , i won’t let you down … starting now . ❜ ❛ remind me what i’m getting out of this again ? ❜ ❛ oh , so NOW i’m supposed to be nice and make friends ? ❜ ❛ i’m telling you , [ name’s ] out to get me . ❜ ❛ i’ve got something you could slip into . ❜ ❛ of course , the opposite might be true . ❜ ❛ huh ! what do you think that means ? ❜ ❛ throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire . ❜ ❛ good people make me insecure . ❜ ❛ i would LOVE not to listen to you . ❜ ❛ that’s a very , very bad idea . do NOT be yourself . ❜ ❛ i said a lot of other nice things , toughen up , nerd . ❜ ❛ it’s nothing , it’s a tiny little inconvenience . ❜ ❛ dude , you’re hiding something ! what’s wrong ? ❜ ❛ what’s wrong , what’s wrong , what’s wrong , what’s wrong ? ❜ ❛ what have you done to me , you monster ? ❜ ❛ you are … unbelievable . ❜ ❛ get your story straight , bro . ❜ ❛ i am VEXED , [ name ] . ❜ ❛ you have nothing to prove , not to anybody . ❜ ❛ i know we’ll never be soul mates , but we’re friends . ❜ ❛ i’ve never actually done this before , it was a theoretical fantasy - ❜ ❛ ‘ dEspitE yOuR cONsTaNt MocKerY ~ ’ ❜ ❛ i once posed as a hot prom date for my cousin . ❜ ❛ i even watched all ten seasons of the show ‘friends’ . ❜ ❛ if i feel sympathy for anybody , it’s [ name ] . ❜ ❛ what is all this junk ? ❜ ❛ you devious little monsters , you . ❜ ❛ you have a very ‘ psycho burnout guy mumbling to himself at a library computer ’ type of vibe . ❜ ❛ this is gonna help both of us ! ❜ ❛ we should keep our eyes peeled for twigs who may have a nefarious agenda . ❜ ❛ i just ethic’d you in the face ! ❜ ❛ lies are like tigers . they are BAD . ❜ ❛ we need to cancel this party immediately . ❜ ❛ why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities ? ❜ ❛ the ends justify the means . ❜ ❛ what are you talking about ?? it’s SO easy to live with a lie . ❜ ❛ i’m not supposed to be here . ❜ ❛ you forgot your own birthday ? ❜ ❛ alright , i will . for you . ❜ ❛ can’t we just chalk this up to a hilarious mistake and move on ? ❜ ❛ can we … skip around , and circle back ? ❜ ❛ why is everyone so jealous of me ? ❜ ❛ oh , hello - you look like a piece of crap . ❜ ❛ hey now , come on , let’s not insult people . ❜ ❛ go get me a drink . ❜ ❛ somebody made a person out of wet mulch and leaves and like … dead slugs , and that’s you . ❜ ❛ did you two go to pound town ? ❜ ❛ i’m better than i used to be . ❜ ❛ alright , i have to ask . is this thing gonna happen ? you and me ? ❜ ❛ you need to stand up for yourself ! ❜ ❛ you’re barely even a regular , functioning person ! ❜ ❛ woah woah woah , you think i’m into [ name ] ? ❜ ❛ i need to step outside for … some air . i will not be back for … many days . ❜ ❛ why are you so nice to me ? ❜ ❛ oh good , you’re back . ❜ ❛ pobody’s nerfect . ❜ ❛ well , the nightmare continues . ❜ ❛ i’m a moron ! ❜ ❛ that’s … not great for my case . ❜ ❛ i’ve ruled the fart inadmissible as evidence . ❜ ❛ now i’m bored . walking is dumb . ❜ ❛ i’m gonna need a drink … or three . ❜ ❛ i only cared about making money and doing cocaine . ❜ ❛ there’s no time for any of that morality nonsense , sweetheart . ❜ ❛ this way , i don’t owe you anything - you don’t owe me anything . ❜ ❛ we MUST remain emotionless . i’m talking kristen stewart on the red carpet . ❜ ❛ please , i’m begging you , please . ❜ ❛ does your brain work , actually ? do you have a functioning head ? ❜ ❛ sorry , [ name ] , but i can’t let us leave . ❜ ❛ what are you DOING , you goon ? ❜ ❛ that’s what you think hell is ? ❜ ❛ it’s scary , like the movie ratatouille . ❜ ❛ oh , that’s a joint . ❜ ❛ REAL weird vibe in here . ❜ ❛ i was definitely expecting some applause . ❜ ❛ in my opinion , which is objective fact in this case and all cases ever … ❜ ❛ i’m not going , i don’t wanna . ❜ ❛ it is literally impossible for me to do that . ❜ ❛ well - it’s been real , dawg . ❜ ❛ i feel like i’ve failed you . ❜ ❛ i was dropped into a cave , and … you were my flashlight . ❜ ❛ we can be together , away from everyone else . ❜ ❛ holy motherforking shirtballs . ❜ ❛ man , this is torture . ❜ ❛ you ruined everything , you know that ? ❜ ❛ i was so close to pulling it off ! ❜ ❛ it’s actually a filthy dumpster of our worth anxieties . ❜ ❛ i’m surrounded by people who are literally better than me . ❜ ❛ you don’t love me ? ❜ ❛ this was supposed to be my big moment ! ❜ ❛ dammit , [ name ] . you are the WORST , and you can all suck it . ❜ ❛ you had no idea i was gonna do that ! ❜ ❛ yeah , that came out of nowhere . ❜ ❛ oh … but it didn’t matter . because my motivations were corrupt . ❜ ❛ there’s something you don’t know about me . ❜ ❛ the only thing you succeeded in doing was bringing us all together . ❜ ❛ uh … next time ? ❜ ❛ if this thing goes sideways again , you are DONE . ❜ ❛ UGH , you’re useless ! ❜ ❛ alright , let’s try again , shall we ? ❜ ❛ YA BASIC . ❜ ❛ hold that thought . is it okay if i go work out ? ❜ ❛ i think this is yours . ❜
