marcus rashford. ━━━ est. 1997 i might be too strung out on compliments, overdosed on confidence ... drinkin' every night, 'cause we drink to my accomplishments.
I get that. Guess I should be glad you’re givin’ me the time of day at all then, huh. You’re young – doesn’t mean you can’t go back to school whenever this ends. “You’re never too late to get where you’re going.” Stole that from a college flyer once. It… Made sense I guess. But it was hardly an ending – felt like it could’ve went on for a few more chapters. Guess it was real though. No proper conclusion, just – shitty thing after shitty thing. That’s exactly how I’d describe it. Hunger Games, minus the big name cast and lower budget. Shit, congrats. It’s your childhood club then? Yeah, one day when I’m feeling expensive, I’ll pop. Expecting you to tour me around the pitch.
pft, i’d gladly give you the time of day anytime ------ quite the conversationalist, if i do say so myself. ay, college flyers know what they’re on about ... sometimes, that is. oh, yeah ------- i definitely get that. kinda’ infuriating as a reader, but also so ... satisfying in the realism of it all. one of my biggest pet peeves is when literature goes ... too far into literature, ‘yanno? loses the reality of it all, and i think i like lit so much ‘cos i learn more about what it’s like to be human. yeah, s’definitely my childhood club ----- grew up there, s’gonna’ be hard if i ever have to leave. i mean ... don’t do that. just let me know when, ‘n i’ll fly you out. s’not a big thing.
jesse couldn’t placate him with an answer. the quick unravelling of his mindset stunning him into silence momentarily that he done little more than scribe nonsensical words onto an already illustrated chest. silence soon became deafening and breathing turned heavy as the older boy fidgeted with the affronted effort to find composure. “don’t know how to make it stop…” he mumbled — his brain a twenty-four hour cycle of bad thoughts that he’d thought he’d shielded marcus from. and he had to an extent. the scars of his suffering hidden still beneath layers of clothes that he’d only just realised couldn’t come off. not if he wanted to keep his best friend protected from the reality.
his gaze was forced back to the twenty-two year old’s — chestnut eyes meeting onyx in a gentle stare off that only lasted briefly before jesse was leaning forward to stop the heartbreaking speech with a kiss. his thumbs ran tenderly across defined cheekbones, wiping away the consequent tears while trying to ignore the one’s moistening his own lash-line. he wasn’t one for showing too much weakness even in front of the boy he trusted most. “ain’t true,” he counteracted eventually, fingers moving to tangle in tight knots. “i don’t get tired of you.” relationships ordinarily quite brief before a lack of trust and diminishing self-worth pried him away, marcus had always been the outlier. even now.
the change in position had come fairly quickly. the twenty-seven year old knocked off balance without warning and trapped under his ex-boyfriend’s body with a lazy grin. it always had been easy to spark a reaction. and he lay confident in the intuition that he’d somehow managed to manipulate his own way once again.
“y’don’t have to..” marcus mumbled in between labored breaths, the sheer proximity of his former lover sending far too many senses into overdrive. “make it stop, i mean.. would’ve worked with it, with you.” he left the argument there; knowing that each of them stood on separate sides of the same fence. he wanted to say something else, to make his case.. but all efforts felt futile. the younger had been trying to convince himself that jesse’d made his mind up, that there was no hope for them..
but they kept kissing, and it killed him.
and marcus didn’t quite have the heart --- or the willpower --- to get jesse to stop, because he didn’t want him to. jesse’s hands were in marcus’s hair, and the striker found his chiseled exterior softening, even if it shouldn’t have been. “but you did,” marcus argued, allowing a tear to trail down a cheek. “don’t think we’d be here if you didn’t.” or at least that’s what he believed. it was hard to let the effects of circumstance go and just allow himself to sink into the moment, but he wanted to. he wanted to get drunk off the words that fell from jesse’s mouth, not caring about the consequences. if he woke up hungover, it would’ve been worth it ------- jesse was worth it.
the sounds that fell from jesse’s lips had never sounded more like sweet songs, marcus’s hips indulging the boy beneath him more hungrily at the slightest responses from his counterpart. jesse’s grip at marcus’s ass elicited a low groan that he hadn’t intended to slip, already having provided enough satisfaction to the older to exercise his ego. beginning to ache below the waist, marcus rolled his hips down to meet the other’s before peppering a string of kisses along the vein slightly protruding from his neck. he might never get to do this again.
and it was then that it truly began to sink in.
a tattooed hand instinctively wrapped around the other’s throat at the sound of yet another groan, the noises only encouraging the younger further and further into an evening he prayed he wouldn’t wake up regretting. marcus gathered the audacity to roll his eyes. “aren’t y’the only one ‘m ever hard for..” he murmured in a simultaneously teasing and snarky tone, a palm reaching down to stroke himself generously. hand still wrapped around jesse’s length, marcus rolled his thumb across the tip. “not particularly soft either, baby..” he’d quipped, but all elements of maintaining composure were faltering at the touch of a sensitive spot. “fuck, jess..”
can i blindfold you?
the question took him by surprise and, ordinarily, he wouldn’t deny the request. “d’ya’ have to..?” his tone was unintentionally soft. “not that i’m opposed..” he took his bottom lip in between his teeth. “..but i kinda’ wanted to look at you.”
It is what it is, but at least I’ll get out there. I’m fine though, or as much as I’m capable of. My friend is hanging here for awhile, so I’m not isolating myself. I’m just one of those people who is better at keeping busy. Concerts and music are my platforms. I can sing to the world and lose myself in it, but it’s really cathartic. I’m terrible at games, but I’d try if you want to teach me. I feel like I’m missing something, and everyone is playing. I might have to do Animal Crossing.
as fine as you’re capable of? harry, that sounds.. concerning, ‘yanno? sure you’re all good? might wild out ‘n ship you to manchester if y’don’t stop worrying me. yeah, i get that ------ feel like i base a lotta’ my self-worth on how productive i am, which is hard when doctors straight-up say i can’t play. we’re on the come-up, though. making progress. yeah, i can teach you! what d’ya want to learn how to play? animal crossing’s cool ------- at least, it looks like it is.
jesse: i mean ur saying one thing but implying another, rash. don't want other people to call it you, s'mine.
jesse: so i don't get a kiss then, nah? but /fine/ i'll be good. won't even let my eyes stray from the screen. idk if you're being sarcastic but they are!! /super/ hard.
jesse: then ur going to get answers u don't want to hear. or /do/ want to hear but they're not going to be entirely helpful to our predicament.
jesse: literally whenever u want. freed up for u always. u get dibs still. x
marcus : and if they do..?
marcus : might be able to handle a kiss or two, but i can't..
marcus : [ typing... ]
marcus : we can't keep hooking up. if it's not serious. if /we're/ not serious. i just..
marcus : [ delayed ] can't really handle it. it's my own issue.
marcus : always good in my eyes. x not being sarcastic, being genuine! hands down the worst part of playing a new game. controls are /exhausting/ to decipher.
marcus : what's our predicament? in your eyes, at least.
I won’t be able to keep up. I wasn’t born with any rhythm. It’s actually quite sad. There’s is, and I’m sure I’ve been called them before online. None of them are ever scary though, unfortunately. I like playing games though. Maybe I could delay it for another week or two. Being selfish gets you what you want, no hate there. It comes naturally, I suppose. I’m only a smidgen amount of cute compared to you. I didn’t until I was eighteen, so I guess I waited till I could back home like a good girl. US is just stupid with their laws alright. Wouldn’t claw you to death. Might just feed you to a tiger like someone else - not naming names. Carole Baskin.
feel like tik tok dances don’t require too much rhythm, though.. y’just gotta’ be fast enough to pick up the moves. also pretty klutzy myself when it comes to dancing, so.. that makes two of us there. does it? wouldn’t know, m’not selfish too terribly often ----- or, at least, i hope i’m not. nah, you’ve lost your mind if y’think ‘ve got anything on you. don’t have the same charm or anything of the sort. yeah, yeah ----- feel like somehow, somewhere, shit makes sense. otherwise, it wouldn’t be a whole law still. please don’t go carole 2.0 on me; though, at least if you did.. the authorities would have a lead, ‘cause i’d have my suspicions.
jesse: am i not cute all the time? u gonna' let no one call it you or just me?
jesse: idk why. i should be last on ur list of 'liked ppl' tbh.
jesse: guess we could give it a go. you have to come here though, don't want to play you over headset. need you to show me how to use the controls for new games. bc i'm stupid. we've established.
jesse: you know why, beans. stop fishing.
jesse: { ... }
jesse: love u most.
jesse: { ... }
jesse: i um - got the letter. is it too late to say yes? ...to the boat trip?
jesse: feel like i need to show my appreciation properly. x
marcus : don't start this w/ me. u know all the answers. -- & i dunno. it's complicated. love-hate w/ it atm.
marcus : perhaps. doesn't rly change my mind tho. x
marcus : fine, but what we're /not/ doing is anything except what we say i'm coming over for. so, in this case --- just games, nothing else. not stupid, lots of buttons can just be hard. :-)
marcus : what if i don't wanna?
marcus : [ typing ... ]
marcus : that's a lie but go off i guess.
marcus : of course not. when can i steal u away from literally everyone & everything else ?
Yeah? You’re selling this pretty well. Ever thought ‘bout doing telemarketing? Or being a lawyer? I’d suggest both if football wasn’t clearly your passion and already well paying as is. Your ass must be studying for a Bachelor’s ‘cause everything comin’ out makes sense. Just finished the book yesterday though. And it pissed me off a little. Felt real hopeless at the end so I’m not sure if it’s worth picking up. Dunno. It’s good to be curious overall so – Panic’s about a bunch of high school seniors who take part in this annual game called, as expected, Panic. It’s set in this tiny 12,000 person town and basically whoever wins gets over 60 grand, enough money to move out of the town permanently. But the game involves various competitions and the stakes are dangerously high for some so. Yeah. Cool, y’like it there then? You play for Man United m’guessin? How long have you been playin’? Now that filming’s over for me, literally whenever. We’re oceans apart though so our chances are a lil’ slim at the moment, huh.
if i had the energy to talk to people on the phone all day, i might take it up ----- but, i regularly send people i adore to voicemail, so i don’t think it’s in the cards. ha, i wish. in hindsight, some online degree program while i couldn’t play the damn game would’ve been smart as hell. kinda’ kicking myself now for not having done that. did it feel hopeless for the sake of sadness, or did it vibe with the story? i can survive the latter, but the former’s just unforgivable. so ---- kinda’ hunger games-esque, then? at least, that’s the idea i’m formulating. i do, i do. for united, ‘s been five years officially ---- though i was working with the club a lot earlier than that. i mean, oceans apart can be fixed. y’know.. planes ‘n things.
welll in school i was always partial to vonnegut and douglas adams, for what it’s worth! not sure what that tell yous about me, but if it’s negative, keep it to yourself, haha. mm yeah, it’s been a problem a few times in the past, but i’m learning to deal with it. sometimes you just need to get away, don’t see anything inherently wrong with that! so long as you tell someone beforehand.. don’t pull any cards from my fuck-up deck, man. well a woman i’m quite fond of recently introduced me to the addiction that is animal crossing, so i’ve… been playing a lot of that, really. it’s a weird mixture of stressful and relaxing.. you don’t want to miss a day or you could lose out on some unique items (and like a BUTTload of currency, which you desperately need) buuuut i’m still here, 40 gameplay hours later. it’s a problem.
vonnegut always confused the hell outta me ------ still does, if we’re totally honest. been trying to give cat’s cradle a try.. ever read that one? any cards from your fuck-up deck? y’mean you’ve got a whole stack? do i even wanna’ know? ooh ----- spicy. y’got the construction helmet yet? a friend of mine’s been goin’ nuts with all the paths they’re making. can’t say i understand the game, ‘cos it’s hella’ unlike anything ‘ve ever played ---- but, i’m trying to follow along. that’s what i’ve heard ---- iron nuggets ‘n stuff, yeah? i mean ---- there’s worse things to spend your time doing, right? that’s how i try to justify shit these days, anyway.
Sometimes I think I want another cat, but then I remember that I have 4 of them. I feel like maybe 5 might be too many, honestly, but I love them. Anyways, do you ever randomly think of something that made you angry from a long time ago and it makes you randomly angry again? Like, damn Karen, that last glazed donut was mine. I don’t actually know if her name was Karen or not, she just looked like a Karen to me. Is it just me? Please, tell me it’s not just me. @hfrpstarters·
you have four cats? how do you keep up with ‘em all? seems like a lot of responsibility.. then again, cats are pretty chill, right? how much work are they, really? feel like they’re fairly self-sustaining. try not to stay bothered about stuff i can’t change, but it’s definitely hard. you’re worked up over a donut, though? just grab a whole dozen, girl. it’ll be alright. ----- definitely not just you, though. got upset one time ‘cos my mom put up one of my favorite pairs of shoes at home ‘n i couldn’t find ‘em.
being in her room for a good portion of her days either decorating or laid up in bed watching whatever was trending that day seemed to become her new norm. granted, she kept up on her work that she was obliged to do. but the large move molly had taken put a huge halt on all work no play lifestyle she held. everything was feeling off to her, yet seeing a familiar and kind face might’ve been a good thing for her. not to mention, she hadn’t seen marcus in a bit of time and with what he was going through in his own life, it couldn’t have seem like a better time. once her lyft driver reached the destination, she shot him a quick thank you and a smile before stepping out of the car, immediately throwing her zipup’s hood over her hair - short, not even feeling up to clip in her extensions as she usually would - and stuffed her hands into the pockets. she fast walked up to the doorstep, knocking gently, fidgeting in her spot as a way to cope with the cool breeze blowing on her skin. when the door opened, her grin mimicked his as she left out an overly-dramatic sigh. “gosh, about time you opened the door. i’m absolutely drenched.” her words laced with nothing but a playful tone, her grin not leaving as she walked in, reaching onto her toes, softly pulling him in for a quick embrace. after pulling away, she removed her hood, pushing her fringe to behind her ear, “how are you?” she questioned, striking up the usual first moments conversation.
marcus was quick to ruffle molly’s hair after she’d taken down her hood, his fingers running lightly through the short locks before he’d pulled his hands back to his pockets. “dunno’, doesn’t seem too bad to me..” he shrugged, closing and locking the door behind them. he hadn’t quite expected the closure of the gap between them, but he hadn’t not anticipated it either ----- so, when she moved close, he instinctively slipped his arm around his waist and lifted her off the ground, spinning her slightly before returning her feet to flat earth. how are you? it was a tough question to answer, but he didn’t want molly to know that ---- so, she just wouldn’t. “’m good,” he eventually settled on, gesturing for her to follow him to the bar. he grabbed some glasses and tilted his head toward her. “did ‘ya want a drink? know you’re not legal in the states, but..” he shrugged his shoulders, a smirk painted on his face. “we can let it slide.”
The venues are all supportive and def want me to come so that’s good. It’s just a lot of work that I didn’t want. The last relationshit disaster - that’s Falling. It comes from a really rough place, as does love philosophy. Mate, I’m sure you are doing great. If they are worth it, hold on to it. It’s complicated enough as is. I have to admit, it’s going to be a long time before I can even think about taking that ride again, after the crash, but I’m okay.
yeah, ‘s fair ----- though i s’pose you’re making the best of the circumstances, yeah? ..you good, though? need anything? not the best at comforting people, but like ----- ‘ve got lots of books ‘n video games if y’ever need a time suck. the best thing about art --- whether it be music, movies, literature, etc. --- is it gives you a solid medium to process the pain. but, for real --- give me a shout if i can help, somehow.
jesse: did u not witness the shark haircut of 2013? the ugly pictures exist and they're well publicised. no wonder u didn't fancy me.
jesse: k, cool then.
jesse: not getting in the way of anything with any potential. kind of defeats the purpose, bud.
jesse: nah, endless fun when u play against other footballers. but i s'pose we were all too busy. is there anything u didn't play so i have a fighting chance??
jesse: stop being dramatic, you're /fine/.
jesse: ... never play you. ur possibly the /only/ person i /don't/ play.
jesse: you're at an unfair advantage, babe. let me have mine.
marcus : or what ? --- also, we spoke of the nickname thing. but i'm gonna allow it for now. because ur cute.
marcus : shut up. liked u always. even now. which is hella difficult obviously. doesn't stop me tho.
marcus : okay. cool.
marcus : [ typing ... ]
marcus : dunno --- u could try to play the new doom that just came out ? dropped abt the same time as animal crossing. both are all the rage on twitch or whatever. been tryna keep up to pass the time :-)
I’ve been into Netflix, am currently on the fourth season of Criminal Minds, what is everyone doing to keep busy doing this time, I hope you all are staying safe, and well.
matthew gray gubler’s a whole vibe. reid was always my favorite. ‘ya got a favorite character yet? finally progressing from a back injury, but ‘ve been reading a lot of books. listening to a lot of music. ---- picked up a new habit of playing candy crash for who knows why. what’re you up to?
jesse: not /entirely/ true. no better feeling than scoring a goal & being poster boy for the biggest club in the world.
jesse: can send u really ugly pictures if it'll make it easier for u?
jesse: someone that'd hang upside down in a spiderman suit & kiss me if i asked :-)
jesse: go figure. not here for posing a threat to young love.
jesse: i thought u played fifa when you were bed-ridden? are you trying to tell me u got /really/ good @ every game we own? s'not fair.
jesse: distraction tactics allowed? bet i win if i say really suggestive shit into the microphone.
marcus : nah.
marcus : better feeling's being loved by you.
marcus : but i guess i gotta take second best now.
marcus : don't think u've taken an ugly photo in ur life, so. not gonna work.
marcus : i mean, fair -- most ppl would. have fun w/ that, i guess. seems u don't need me for the task after all, anyway.
marcus : what are u even /on/ about rn?
marcus : played everything. think i could /just/ play fifa? ridic. got bored too quick. feel like the game's not as fun when ur /actually/ a footballer. x
marcus : nothing's fair at the moment. everything's shit. 'tis life. c'est la vie.
marcus : obvs not --- then u'd be playing /me/ & not the /game/. u have to win the game.
marcus flicked his tongue across his lower lip, gaze staring blankly out the window as rain slapped against the glass of the panes. he couldn’t remember the last time he had someone over so randomly ---- it was either long overdue, which was highly possible, or entirely too premature. he’d either glow in the light of human interaction or fall underneath its weight, and he was entirely unsure of which to anticipate. still, though, he couldn’t shake the excitement stirring in the pit of his stomach with the knowledge that molly would soon arrive. he pulled some bottles of liquor and glasses from the cabinets, displaying them casually on the countertop. hands shoved in the pockets of his joggers, marcus dribbled a ball around the living room ‘til he heard a knock at the door. “on my way!” he hollered out, abandoning the lazy drill for a slight jog toward the front door. he grinned when he saw her on the other side. “ay, blondie,” marcus greeted her, stepping to the side to allow her to walk in. “y’decided to show up after all, huh?” | @mollymce
Well you obviously aren’t watching the right Tiktoks. I’ll have to go through my likes with you. Okay well, I still suck at renegade so it’s now your job to teach me. I’ll have to up my scare factor then. Can’t have people thinking I’m “cute”. Listen, no more bait is needed, I’m biting and on my way to spice up your life. Wow, you’d want me to live in an incomplete room just to hang with you? Lucky for you, I want to do that anyways. No venting session then, for the time being. Coming in clutch as per usual, Rashford. I’m the queen of promoting drinking responsibly but, y’know, gotta practice for my 21st. Um, if you’re watching it now you better pause it because we’re finishing it together. I gotta witness you seeing all the crazy antics to come.
ay, can go all professor on you. show you my skills. just don’t be mad if you can’t keep up with me, yeah? pretty sure there’s worse things to be thought of as, molls.. but, i digress. good, you better be ----- miss you too much for you to be playing games like this. absolutely would, no shame. bein’ selfish is the new vibe ------ just a ‘lil, though. see? say you don’t wanna’ be cute but go saying shit like that. really fighting against yourself, love. does anybody actually wait ‘til they’re legal to drink anymore? i doubt it. okay, okay ---- paused it, don’t need you attempting to claw me to death. feel like the first two episodes were already whack. don’t trust carole for a hot second.
