running with scissors;

rami malek. [ unless stated otherwise, none of the gifs or photos used on this blog are mine (at the time of posting, content creators rules allow their media to be used). all credit goes to the respective owners/creators. if something needs to be credited specifically or taken down, please message me and i will do so. ]

[rami-pastrami]

brunzomars​:

Ah, don’t i know it. That you are, and the only one to ever keep me on my toes, too. Me? Make you feel things? Tell me more ;) no, but in all seriousness, I do miss you and would also like to show you a few new songs as well. I promise they’re all not as forward as the silk sonic stuff. I wanna show you the stuff that’ll make you feel something, too. Mad rude, huh? Like my deadass? Haha

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well, you know me, gotta keep things interesting... har har, yes, i know, i’m quite the ice queen. i miss you too, bee. yeah, you really fuckin’ came for me with those, didn’t you? i deserve it to be sure, but damn. heh. the rudest, in fact. 

when you want me to come out?

[rami-pastrami]

brunzomars​:

Yeah? How about we hang out just us for a bit? Think you can handle being with me for a while? Maybe we can even go back to a few of our spots in Vegas? Pretty sure that little alley way where you read the first song I ever wrote for you still exists.

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i am the master of handling you and you know it, darling. sounds like a good time, count me in. ugh, stop, you’re not allowed to make me feel things when you’re not here, that’s mad rude.

[rami-pastrami]

corenswetz​:

i can relate. if you’re okay about thunder and rain sounds, though, i’d see us getting in bed together. i just HATE whale sounds. those are obnoxious.

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who the fuck is falling asleep to whale sounds?? i may be a masochist, but that’s a little much.

[rami-pastrami]

irinashcyk​:

Reaching out into the internet void is such a scary thing to do, so I give you props for it. Hey, you’re not alone in the slightest. I also can’t stand the silence. I’m so used to my daughter being the equivalent of the energizer bunny around the house that when she’s away with her dad I need to have the TV on or some music playing in the background. You’re a handsome fella, I’m sure you won’t need to actually convince someone to sleep in your bed.

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what can i say, i’m a slut for a good scare! heh. oh man, i can only imagine. my sister’s kid gets real wild whenever i visit and she’s always amazed by how i absolutely keep up with her in terms of volume. i think we both drive her a little crazy. look at you, out here throwin’ around the compliments! but you’d be surprised. i am nothing if not absolutely too much for any one person to handle.

[rami-pastrami]

brunzomars​:

So what’s it gonna take to get you to come my way a little. I’ve been missing you and your antics @rami-pastrami

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mmmm, dunno, promises of a good time? as if you ever don’t deliver on that.

[dawn0fsanity]

Rami Malek + Saturday Night Live • BRUTAL MARRIAGE MOVIE “Just two straight people with their straight little problems.”

[rami-pastrami]

jessiica-lange​:

Oh my… I am the opposite! at least when I am alone at home, I am a big fan of silence and a quiet place. I have no problem if there is no music playing and about the TV, I rarely watch something, except when I want to enjoy of a movie but I am the worst at watching series or long shows but I’ve heard that your case is very common, I guess it’s not bad, at least you want to change it, you can start with small things to do but if you are happy with it, then fuck it! it’s fine now you have to find someone who is able to sleep with noise in the background, I guess that person exists and waiting for you. 

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see, you’re the kind of person who would probably really enjoy a scenic walk through the woods... meanwhile i’d be begging for an elk to scare the ever-loving bejeesus out of me with one of those horrific wails they do, because it’s still somehow way less creepy than the quiet. i don’t know what that says about me, but i guess whoever that person is is gonna have to have a high tolerance for... whatever that is. i’d hazard a guess that a born-n-raised city slicker would be my best bet, or someone who flies planes for a living.

[rami-pastrami]

i feel very alone in this, so i’m reaching out into the internet void to see if there’s anyone that can vibe with me: i fucking hate silence. sitting quietly at home? can’t do it. something’s gotta be on the tv, the stereo, something, or i start to feel like i’ve got ants in my brain. forget about sleeping—it’s not happening unless i have an uncomfortably loud white noise machine going. in other news, i will never be able to convince another person to sleep in my bed ever again.​

[rami-pastrami]

alycas​:

to say i’m freaking out is an understatement. as most of you know my wife is getting ready to pop out our first child in a matter of days and i’m sooo not prepared. i thought i was, and in a way we kind of are with all the baby proofing and nursery set up, but i don’t think i’m quite prepared for the being a mum part. if anyone has any sort of advice or suggestions for a brand new mum, please send it my way. i’m gonna need all the reassurance i can get before the little peanut makes it’s grand debut. @hfrpstarters​

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speaking as a guy who has only come close to being a parent (but is otherwise a fantastically cool uncle), it’s gonna be hard. no matter what advice you get, there’s gonna be days you wonder if you can keep it up, but try not to overthink it. i think the good really outweighs the bad, in the end. 

also this is more ‘down-the-road’ advice, but the less strict you are with the kid, the more well-rounded they’re gonna turn out. might seem obvious, but it’s sometimes hard to separate the bigger picture from trying to protect your child in the moment. 

anyway, you got a good head on your shoulders, i think you’re gonna be a great mom. good luck, & have fun with it!

[rami-pastrami]

jcnnieklm​:

Public perception is a weird thing. Recently I found out that a lot of people out there think I’m intimidating because of the way I perform on stage and because apparently I don’t smile all that often… which I think is a lie because I’m always pretty happy in general. Sometimes I just space out and forget to smile. Despite the rumours, I promise I’m not too bad. Stage presence might be strong but I’m pretty easy going. Talk about Netflix and puppies with me and I swear, I’ll be your best friend for life. Anyway all that got me thinking that I’m obviously not the only one who hears stuff about themselves all the time. So what’s the weirdest rumour you’ve heard about yourself that was completely inaccurate? @hfrpstarters

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i get that, people seem genuinely surprised when they realize i’m not a cranky, spoiled shithead. i’d like to think it’s mostly the rest bitchface i’ve got going on, but i dunno. i guess i give of ~vibes~ or whatever the kids are calling it these days. i’m nice, i swear! or maybe i’m not, and i’m just kidding myself. could go either way.

[rami-pastrami]

hircis​:

life moves in seriously crazy ways. one day i’m young, carefree, enjoying the night life thursday through sunday usually, not having a single care in the world! and then the next moment, i’m twenty-five - not old at all, i know, but when did that happen, and i’m staying in cuddled up in the fuzziest blanket i own and going through my ‘to be read’ pile so quick i can’t even process it. last weekend, i had a harry potter movie marathon and i barely even saw my group. what’s up with becoming a homebody more and more as you age? the best part is, i don’t want to stop, i love it so much. anyways, i’m momo and currently i’m enjoying a book called ‘love and other words’, if you want to start a book club i’m so down, i just call being the president. @hfrpstarters​

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most people are gonna tell you that it comes with more responsibility or whatever, but personally, i think it happens in waves. i was definitely more of a homebody from like 27-34, but that’s pretty far from the truth now. enjoy it while it lasts! ain’t nothin’ wrong with living that cozy life, haha. 

[rami-pastrami]

armcs​:

I miss you and our antics on set. When can we hang out?! Please, before the new year at least! I need to hear about all the trouble you’ve been getting into! @rami-pastrami​

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you got it!! i promise, my trouble has been so far from fun, you’re truly not missing out. but i’m down to get into some new trouble with you! heh.

[rami-pastrami]

{ 𝕤𝕞𝕤 } ➟ 𝗯𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗼

bruno: you realize this just means i'm not included in your bubble right? haha

bruno: you cocky asshole ;)

rami: no one is included in my bubble but me, if it makes you feel any better

rami: just how you like me

[s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r]

[rami-pastrami]

{ 𝕤𝕞𝕤 } ➟ 𝗯𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗼

bruno: kind of offended you didn't know I have a national holiday 😤

rami: you KNOW my awareness of the world outside my bubble is pathetic

rami: i'm just so self-centered

[rami-pastrami]

texting: rami

Margot: hahaha don't worry, I'll take all responsibility!

Margot: I think being actual neighbours would be AMAZING! can we please make it happen? haha. don't worry.. our walls are sound proof so you won't be able to hear Piper's loud cries. never getting rid of you sounds amazing because you'd never get rid of us! Axe will be alllll about Uncle Rami being next door to play with all the time! haha

rami: i DO love kids when they're not my responsibility... if you're prepared for me to instill them with terrible habits, it's a deal

[rami-pastrami]

spicy-spaceman​:

Oscar: As if I would EVER be negative! Me? I’m an angel! A saint!

Oscar: I can’t decide if time is going by quickly or slowly. I don’t know. The last few days have just been weird. Like…

Oscar: I don’t know. Some days I don’t feel like… Fuck, I don’t even know how to explain it. Sometimes my life doesn’t feel like mine? Or something? Like I’m outside myself.

Oscar: I think I need to sleep for a week.

rami: you got me there.

rami: slow. very slow. everything is fucking slow, even my own heartbeat.

rami: i get it, i know it doesn’t make a lot of sense on the surface, but that’s just... not anxiety, but something close to it. i guess. never been able to figure it out myself.

rami: sorry to report but sleep ain’t the solution. :/ not that i have a better suggestion, just uh... laying in bed didn’t do ME much good. getting out did, i think. seeing people. people i give a shit about, anyway. surely you got holiday plans?