I don't think I'll be on today because of personal and college and the fact that I'm just emotionally unstable at the moment

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I don't think I'll be on today because of personal and college and the fact that I'm just emotionally unstable at the moment
Day 6 -- How strong is your will || Self para
Evan saw a mass of people of people approach their camp. The perimeter had been extended thanks to their work yesterday. Despite it all Evan was still alive. His wound while it hurt didn't seem to be moving at an alarming rate. Looking around while they had the space there would come a point when their supplies would start to run low. Each member of the group was given a choice of either a knife or a gun. While the new people were brought into the group he saw that many knew the someone else. Stepping to the side Evan was again reminded that he didn't have that. He had talked to a few people but he had always felt to awkward to keep talking to them. So he knew a lot of people but not well enough to call them good friends or even friends.
Having had to fake his way through most of his life Evan was used to smiling and acting happy on queue. There were many things on Evan's mind. He could stay here and do what he's been doing. Trying to help from a distance or he could leave. It would have to be now or never. If Evan left he could go and try to find some where to treat the wound. Maybe halt the process for a while. He didn't want to die. But he didn't know if there was a way to stop it. Walking away he found himself by their weapons supply. This was it. He had to make his decision and it had to be now. He grabbed two knifes along with a gun with a round of ammo. Stuffing them in to his pockets and his hoodie he left the room and headed towards their food supply.Â
He took his bag from the corner of the room and managed to take a little bit of food, enough that he would normally get in one day. Taking out his pen and a sheet of paper. He scribbled a note down leaving it folded neatly in plain sight of anyone who'd walk into the room.Â
Dear Delta,
I'm sorry for not saying anything before this but given the circumstances I think it better. What with the new people arriving and my own injury likely to lead to another event like the one which it stemmed from. I feel that it is time for me to bow out. You all are amazing people but there is too much that is at risk if something happens. Everyone has someone looking for them. Someone they're waiting for.  I've taken it upon myself to leave the encampment. The secured perimeter should last another day or two. I'm leaving his note as a thank you. To everyone here. I'm not sure I would have survived to this point other wise. While it is difficult to say if I will survive I feel like that it would be safer for everyone if left. I hope the best for all of you. Safety and that you find your loved ones. To the new members I wish you the same.
Evan.
With that Evan left through the back entrance. Slipping through the group's notice. Putting his hands into his pocket Evan felt an artefact from his old life. The key to The Writing Nook. Taking this as a chance he walked to the building unlocking it walking inside to talk a last look. To remember and relive his old life. Standing in the café. Remembering the people he worked with. The customers. The life. The smell. Smiling he turned around and headed below to the lower level his vision focusing on one point in particular.  The table where Alek had sat all the time. Where he used to wait if he was free for Evan to finish his shift. Where Evan would take his break and just rewind in the company of his lover. He walked closer and looked under the table. Seeing that their names were still there. The only difference was it didn't say Evan and Alek. It said Ionnes and Sasha.. Their real names. Their little secret. Something only the two of them knew. Evan's eyes began to swell with tears. He stood up smiling, with his tears he knew that the other was safe. He wasn't here anymore. He was back in Ireland with his father. He walked out of the building one last time knowing that he wasn't going to give up on life that easily. He walked out of the building a different man. He wasn't going to let this get the better of him. Not without a fight.
Day 5 -- Injured but not dead yet
The atmosphere since Jean had died from his injuries had been different, subdued in many ways. They were all completely aware of just what the attack meant for both Evan and Adele, although through all the uneasiness it was unspoken as to what would be the best solution in terms of group safety. They couldn’t sleep with one eye open waiting for the same to happen as it did once Jean had gone. Bentley’s arms were folded across his chest as he listened to Evan explain how he felt about the situation. He nodded sincerely, but only slightly. He felt like a monster for even beginning to agree with the guy, he was just a kid still and he wouldn’t be able to forget the way he’d tried to overcome not being able to use a gun to help the group out in the first few days. He’d done everything he could for all of them and now look at the situation they found themselves in.
"Look, Evan…" he was the first to begin to respond and he didn’t know how to say what he needed to without sounding like the monster he felt like for even suggesting it. "You could be right, and that’s a noble offer. I appreciate it"..he gestured towards the others stood around "We all do, I’m sure." The perimeter was something he’d been worried about, with their numbers dropping it was becoming harder to maintain it each day. "We’re gonna do everything to help you. Weapons, food, anything you need." Bentley struggled to see past the young man and imagine what could possibly happen in a few days but he knew the alternative wouldn’t bear thinking about. "I’m really sorry man…" There was an element of guilt in his voice as he tried not to think about if there was anything any of them could’ve done to avoid this.
Evan knew it was going to be difficult to talk about it. None of them wanted to admit that it was going to happen. But Evan was smart enough to put one and one together to figure out that it wasn't likely to end well. He looked to the other man. While he felt like what he said was a good idea he felt bad for bringing it up so suddenly. There was a sense of unease through out the group. He took a deep breath and nodded. "Bentley... That's really nice of you.." Like a switch Evan went back into his happy self. Flashing his smile to the group. The same smile that had cheered many people ever since he learned how to smile.Â
He lifted his shoulders and shrugged to him. "It's not your fault.. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay.." He looked out to their perimeter thinking about where to start. He'd have to clean up the area first before he could begin with the perimeter.Â
This thing is starting to sting a lot..
Bite | Adele & Open | 18th April
As gun fire sounded against the walls of the buildings close by, Adele ran into the room, sheltering her head as she ducked past one of the windows, not knowing where the fire was coming from. All night she had stayed awake watching Evie sleep and trying to make meals for the people on patrol, stopping them as they came by the front of the station and giving them the best smile she could whilst Evie wailed behind her, distressed for even a minute to have her mother out of sight. The shooting had begun at dawn, coming from beyond the perimeter and straight at their safe building. To her it seemed like it came from the block across from them but she couldn’t be sure and it was too dangerous by the windows to check.Â
It was for this reason she came running into the room backed up against the under attack wall, dropping to her knees and skidding under another window as she reached the people trying to catch some rest there, those tired from hours of patrol of those injured. Reaching out to Jean, slipping her hand onto his arm and shaking him awake, her eyes nervously casting around that she didn’t see his ravenous face, hearing his sickening growl too late to move as his body, dead and gone, whipped around to grab at her, his hand cold as ice wrapping around her arm and yanking her in as he plunged his teeth ruthlessly into her wrist and tore back, ripping it open. Adele’s scream sounded as sharp as a knife, the pain white hot in her hand as she struggled to grab onto something to rip away from the once sweet man who was now a monster.
Evan turned seeing the other reach for Jean. But Evan could sense something was wrong. He wasn't breathing. Evan tried to yell at the other but nothing came out. Running towards her he managed to pry her hand away from his grip. Evan pushed her back forgoing his own safety. Leaving his arm open for the now dead group member to bite down on. This time when Evan opened his mouth, noise did come out. He let out a scream, as he kicked freely at the dead man.Â
The pain stared to engulf his arm. There was bleeding but it wasn't felt. Evan's fight or flight kicked in and he started to kick at the dead man. Finding a stray wooden piece of something he started to bash down anywhere to keep the zombie at bay. Finally hitting his head, Evan had realised he had yelled the entire time. His mind light, breath's quick and heavy. He pushed back as far and as fast as he could trying to keep as much distance as he could from the now dead-dead man.
Day 5 -- Injured but not dead yet
The bite Evan had gotten the day before had gotten worse. He knew what it meant. There was no way out of this now. Maybe it was better. He'd finally be free from everything. There wouldn't be anymore worries or troubles for him to deal with. Just like Jean he knew he was going to die and like all the others turn. As far as he knew there was no hope left for him. He realised this in the middle of the night and most of the time looking up to the sky on the roof.Â
Evan looked outside, if he was going then he was going to go keeping others alive. There may not be anyone looking for him but he knew that there were people looking for the rest of them. "We need to make sure there aren't any holes in the perimeter. Try and extend it a little.. I volunteer myself to go out.. That way... when it does happen I won't be able to hurt the rest of you..." He said to the group.
Day 4
Same here. But if I have to use one, then I’ll use it.Â
I've tried with the modified paintball ones, I can use it. But they just aren't for me.
Day 4
I’m really not big on guns either..
My hands get too shaky..
Day 4
Guns really aren't for me..
-tries to stand up- I need to find them -falls back- How long have we been here?
A while.. It's the third day now..
You should try to move...
Kai, where is Kai?
I don't know any Kai... sorry..
Where am I?
You're okay.. You're safe..
People were leaving, Evan sat in quite as he watch them leave. Siting with his knees into his chest he sung quietly. Wishing he had someone who cared. He had lost everything and there was no one looking for him. There wasn't anyone who would be wondering where he was. He only had his Cam and Terry, he had no clue if they were okay. He sobbed while he sang.
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around. Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around. Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays, I'll send 'em howling, I don't care, I got ways.
No one's gonna hurt you, No one's gonna dare. Others can desert you, Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, But in time... Nothing can harm you Not while I'm around...
Don’t say that. Some of the best people I know are gone, everyone has something to lose and everyone has someone that cares about them. Don’t go out there and be reckless, we need all the people we’ve got.
..I don't... That was made crystal clear a while ago... Thanks for your concern.. but.. there's no one going to be looking for me.. I'm going to go see if anyone needs some help..
That’s perfect, if you grab that I’m sure it’ll do in the meantime.
I’m going out there, if we don’t go soon we’re not going to make the most of daylight whilst we have it and I feel useless in here when people are out there dying. The paintball guns are in the armoury if you’re interested.
I'll go look... I'll pick one up... I... I've got nothing to lose anyways..
Same, I wish it was better circumstances though. I don’t believe in bad luck, Johanna wasn’t your fault she.. I don’t know, I dont understand how any of this has happened but you can’t blame yourself. We’re just not gonna let it happen to anyone else with us, okay? Amalia said Jean was hurt so we need to get him some medical supplies.
.. I.... okay.....
I've got alcohol in my bag.. I got I bought some before all of this happened... If we have clean cloths we could bandage it up and disinfect it. At the moment until we find proper supplies it will have to do..