All I wanted was some faith. Some solace in knowing that you were being taken care of. You've always had my everything; love, compassion, strength and peace of mind. Why...why did you have to do that to me? Was it out of spite? Was it to bring me to a pit of guilt and misery? I know I'm not perfect and I make insane mistakes but I've never been one to deceive you like that. You said what you said with so much confidence, as if you couldn't wait to drop that bomb on me. You were so proud to admit that to me. That's not love. That's not what people in a relationship do to each other. It seems like you wanted revenge for something that wasn't even true. I can forgive what happened, but I can't forgive the way you presented it and expected me to be okay with it. But want to know the more fucked up part about it all? I STILL fucking love you. I want you so bad that it breaks my heart even more with each passing day. Why couldn't you just keep that to yourself? Why couldn't you just find ways to kill the thought that telling me that was fine? I never did anything wrong to deserve that much torture. You took my heart and stuck a knife through, then lit it on fire just to watch the dancing flames, then finally stepped on it to put it out. You fucked me out of real happiness. Because of you, I'll never know what it means to be happy. You're enjoying this. You love the feeling of seeing me suffer. Congratulations. You've done it. But I hope nothing but the best for you. I hope you're happy and doing what you wanted. After all that you did to me, I still give a shit enough to hope that you're living the life you wanted. Yeah...that is all.
