Colaa

[nothingcomesfromnothing-008]

It did not hurt that they betrayed me, it hurt me to see myself in the mirror and know that I was broken into a thousand pieces by fake people.

-me

[nothingcomesfromnothing-008]

"They say that being different is good, it makes you unique and special, but nobody says how lonely it can be not to be like others"

- me

[badbitchrecovery]

♡

Blossoming into a badass women with more faith than fear. 

[quotefeeling]

“So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.”

— John Green

[quotefeeling]

“I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself.”

— Ruta Sepetys, Salt to the Sea

[linnesworld]

too honest

dear one,

all there ever will be is you. You’re the only one that’s supposed to be truly on your side. The rest of it is all an imagination anyway. People live for themselves and you should do the same. I know your heart aches within your chest. That sometimes you have to lay down and let it hurt for an hour before you can move on for a few days. It takes a lot to drag the past behind you on a leech, unable to let go. What’s happened cannot be changed, you know. It’s hard and it’s emotional and it’s fucking devastating sometimes. Don’t you dare lose yourself in the fact that you’re just a human too. Those moment where you’re lying down, chest aching, tears streaming out of your eyes, why are they supposed to be negative? I think you should see it as recharging. Putting a new battery inside yourself. Healing, I suppose. No, not everything is okay. You’re angry and hurt and scared and you feel a whirlwind of emotions every second of this day. You’ve had it tough and overthinking everything in life makes you one of the most lonely creatures on this earth. But you got through this day and you’re going to get through the exact same day tomorrow. It’s not yet known how many bumps there will be in the road. If it will involve crying, screaming, crawling into a dark corner of the house, pulling up the duvet to just lay beneath it and let it all hurt and ache. But you can make sure that you get through everything exactly like you did today. Because you’re here, typing this and realizing that it’s almost 12 am again and this day will be finished. Checked of. 9th of september 2019 will forever be lost in the dark universe of days this earth has existed. And you have survived. You are still here.

So yes, hurting is normal. Doubting is normal. Feeling anxiety and panick is normal. And letting your heart ache a few times a week is not a bad thing if it makes you move forward. Because that’s all that matters. You have a heart of a fighter. You were abandoned and saved and abandoned and saved again and you got through those days. that day in october, forever lost in the universe but you made it through. You did, you did. You’re still here and that day is forever dust and you can’t help it and you did what you could, because you got through it even though it must have been one of the most horrible days to ever exist. Don’t you dare give up when you have fought your way through feeling like the utmost worthless piece of shit on this planet. That was the lowest of lows and what’s going on now can’t even be compared. Let yourself hurt and let yourself cry. Let yourself soak your pillow with never ending tears until they suddenly do end. Stand up, wipe away your tears, breathe in and out and move forward. Before you know it the day will be over and you will have survived another one that’s never going to be experienced again.

-me

[the-brightest-of-stars]

Most of the time, most days, I feel nothing. I dont feel anything. Its so boring. I wake up and I think, again, really? I have to do this again? And what I really dont understand is how come everyone else isn’t screaming with boredom too, and I try to find ways to make myself feel something. More and more and more, but it doesn’t make any difference. No matter what I do, I dont feel anything. I hurt myself, it doesn’t hurt. I buy what I want, I don’t want it. I do what I like, I don’t like it. I’m just so bored.

Villanelle (Killing Eve)

[opium-and-tea-deactivated202004]

I Still Do

I promised I wouldn’t feel like this again

That I wouldn’t be so quick to love

And so excited by the pain

But I can’t seem to follow instructions

I’m too caught up in the destruction

Of all that I built on your foundation,

That you left on my collar

To remind me that I was supposed to be yours

I promised I wouldn’t hurt myself again

But my promises don’t mean as much

As they did back then

Back when I had something to lose

Back when I had to hide every new bruise

Then no one would know the real me

I said I was over all those feelings

That I didn’t love you

But it’s written on the ceiling

That I still do

Can I go my own way?

[alex-is-back-deactivated2024082]

Here I am. Screaming and crying into my pillow. Yet another day. I have no excuse. I have no reason why. I am just sinking lower and lower every day. But what do I do? I just want someone to want to talk with me. I want to know that I have someone that would miss me if I left for good. But also, I know that I can’t be a good friend to anyone right now. I’m too sad for someone to love me back. I just feel so invisible. Please please see me. Please.

[lagala-je-grade]

[igniting-cosmos]

Forgiving never seems easy when the time comes to forgive someone, but forgiveness doesn’t come from our own selves. It is generated from God. He is the source of love and forgiveness towards everyone for everything. There is never a time where He doesn’t want to forgive us. It’s only us that hinder Him from ever doing it when we refuse to forgive ourselves or others.

So loving yourself comes with also forgiving yourself from ever feeling or thinking less than. You are capable of so much and even if you trip and mess up, you are still capable of so much! So don’t hold on to any anger or resentment towards yourself and others.

“Love isn’t based on your emotions and neither is forgiveness. It’s a decision of the heart. It’s a function of your spiritual will.” Align your will to the will of God and His will is that you are the righteousness of God no matter what! You are forgiven and deeply, unconditionally loved! So believe that and live in that daily!

[subduedpassions03]

Grief

I think I wouldnt know, blatant hate, if love had not existed.

I know agony, because time isnt a virtue of brevity and I am horribly limited.

I would toss my grief in the ocean, kick and scream and it would give a sunlit horizon.

Or I could let it consume me, the tempest would engulf the soul in its rage.

I can soothe it, with promises of a future I dare not think of;

Grief, like hope, springs eternal. Even if I brush it aside in afterthought.

[extramadness]

[extramadness]

[mrne13]

gemeter mau nulis caption.gakuat😵 (di Pusing Tujuh Turunan Tujuh Tanjakan.) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_aHh_7g1HVFO6-xhtdNiQuEx8yNYOkdq5ViEE0/?igshid=1adgaf96pggs8

[mrne13]

며칠 만 있으면 감자 전체가 될 것입니다 #🥔🍟 (di Donkeys In Quarantine) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-zb3VVjJt6sZbZB3MFvywYM9Z5axEGiVcT7vI0/?igshid=132jy91rndtcx

[mrne13]

Happy eight!!! @weareone.exo #LetsLoveEXO #8ternityWithEXO #To8finityAndBeyondWithEXO #8th_Anniversary #EXOLSelcaDay Cr video : @lemmeloveyeol @iridescent_boy @aiolos_sehun @myfootsteps.x https://www.instagram.com/p/B-tEldNAq-RtG8zQ5gWhs7eILrz1aKP-1FSUYk0/?igshid=70hmx5867wp9